I'm Shartneigh and I have a huge horse-like face. That's why my parents spelled their original name idea, Shartney, as shartneigh. They couldn't pass up the opportunity. I always have my light brown hair in a disgusting, greasy messy bun. And I always smell like diarrhea.
I woke up in my huge bed and slid directly into my bunny slippers that were waiting for me perfectly next to my bed. Today was first day of freshman year at Westvillehillside High. I was SO nervous but excited to meet some hot dilf teachers!!
My maid knocked on my door and yelled at me to get up. I was already up so that made me really mad. I yanked my door open and punched her in the throat with my tiny but strong weak fist. "make my bed" I said in my adorable high pitched womanly girlish but mature but infant-like voice.
I went downstairs and made some cereal and ate one spoonful because I'm so small that my body starts physically rejecting the cereal after one bite. This happens every day. I poured some coffee into a ziplock bag and poked a straw through it. Coffee keeps me going because I'm really mature for 14 years old, and also because I'm quirky like that and drinking scalding hot coffee through a plastic bag is different and silly so I do it! I love when it burns me and I have to eat ice for the rest of the day.
I grabbed my backpack containing my beloved books. I only read classics because I'm an intellectual. Today I was taking Gone With the Wind. I zipped up my backpack and started walking to the bus stop.
YOU ARE READING
the shape of ed // an ed sheeran love story
Romanceed's the teacher and she's the student but it stops making sense after like 2 sentences
