A New Beginning

Chapter 1

Elizabeth stood in the doorway for several moments confused by Lucas's statement. She slowly turned around, went back inside and closed the door behind her. She leaned her back against the wall as the tears began to flow freely from her eyes, and ever so slowly she slid down the wall until she was sitting on the floor.

In her heart of hearts Elizabeth knew that Lucas was right. If she was being completely honest with herself as much as she liked the guy and he was good hearted and kind to her, her relationship with Lucas was completely platonic. So she then wondered why when she had to men competing for her love did she choose the man whom she did not have romantic feelings for? Elizabeth knew the answer to the question from way before Nathan had ever confessed his love to her.

Plain and simple Elizabeth was petrified of hurting again the way she did when Jack died. Elizabeth knew that she had struggled to put her feelings aside now for Nathan in hopes that she could grow to love Lucas in a similar way she did to Jack so she wouldn't have to live in fear of losing another husband again. Yet after this last confession from Lucas Elizabeth knew two things. The first was that even though she made the blatant choice to court Lucas it wasn't fair to any of them, let alone Lucas especially since she knew how much she loved Nathan. And the second was that her plan to never ever fall in love again with a Mountie had completely failed.

Elizabeth continued crying while she sat on the floor. Rosemary who due to the thin walls between the houses heard Elizabeth's sobs and decided that despite the current tension between the two friends she would go see what was troubling Elizabeth like this. Rosemary knocked on Elizabeth's door and after several minutes with no answer she opened the door and walked in. She saw Elizabeth sitting on the floor and slowly she sat down next to her, put her hand around her best friend and that's when Elizabeth began to cry even harder.

Rosemary: Shhh, Elizabeth. It wall all be okay. Please tell me what is going on.

Elizabeth: I miss him Rosemary, I miss him so much.

Rosemary: I know you do, Elizabeth. We all do.

Elizabeth: I just never expected that after three years I would still feel this way.

Rosemary: Feel like what Elizabeth?

Elizabeth: Like I'm betraying Jack's memory by moving on. Today I finally decided I knew who I wanted to be with and as I attempted to get ready to go talk to him I noticed my wedding rings from Jack and I couldn't Rosemary, I just couldn't take them off. But at the same time how could I go tell another man that I'm in love with him if I am wearing Jacks rings? I also started crying because I wasn't sure Jack would approve of the man I want to introduce to baby Jack. I so badly want Jack back, to hear his voice to have him tell me its okay. Tell me who he thinks I should be with.

Rosemary looked down at Elizabeth's hands and noticed that the rings were still on her fingers.

Rosemary: I see you didn't end up removing them yet. What happened.

Elizabeth: Lucas stopped by and told me that he cares about me and wants me to find true happiness and in order for me to be able to do that he had to set me free.

Rosemary: So just like everyone else in this town Lucas finally realized that you are in love with Nathan and not him.

Elizabeth: I guess so.

Rosemary: So why are you crying? Isn't it a good thing that he set you free, now you can go tell Nathan how you truly feel and the two of you can move on with your lives together.

Elizabeth looked away and began to cry again.

Rosemary: No! Oh no, no, no... don't tell me you had officially decided to pick Lucas?

Elizabeth: I had.

Rosemary: But why? Why on earth would you pick Lucas when you are in love with Nathan?

Elizabeth: I just cannot lose Nathan like I lost Jack. Losing Jack nearly tore me apart. I cannot and will not go through that again.

Rosemary: So what do you want to do now? Its not fair to Lucas to be in a relationship with him when you don't really love him. And how do you think Nathan feels knowing how much he loves you that you refuse to open your heart and love him back?

Elizabeth: I don't know Rosemary, I just don't know. What do you think I should do?

Rosemary: I don't want to tell you what to do, but I will tell you what I think Jack would say if he were still here.

Elizabeth: And what is that exactly?

Rosemary: Jack would tell you, that no matter how much it hurt to lose him. To remember all the good times you had together and use that to help you navigate a new life with another man whom you could love the same way you loved him, despite the risk. Jack would tell you that the same way he tried everything in his power to make sure he would come home to you, Nathan would do the same. Look from me speaking as Rosemary... Nathan is an amazing guy and he loves you with all of his heart the same way that Jack did. And yes the risk on his life is the same as it was for Jack but Elizabeth you deserve to be with someone who can love you for who you are. I say take the risk... follow your heart and who knows.. maybe one day you will be as happy with Nathan as you were with Jack.

Elizabeth: You really think its worth the risk?

Rosemary: I do

Elizabeth: But why?

Rosemary: Because you love him Elizabeth.

Elizabeth: But what happens if I lose him also.

Rosemary: Elizabeth you are one of the strongest women I know, but don't think like that. Think of all the amazing times and memories you can create as a family with Nathan.

Elizabeth: I guess your right. Now what?

Rosemary: Now its time to take off those rings. Put them in a safe place for baby Jack to use in the future. Go get yourself dressed pretty and go have a very much needed conversation with one special Mountie.

Elizabeth: Okay, okay. I will.

Elizabeth and Rosemary both stood up, looked at each other for a minute and then fell into a deep and loving hug.

Elizabeth: Rosemary, I'm really sorry for the way things have been between us lately, and I know coming here couldn't have been easy, but I really needed this. So thank you.

Rosemary: Of course Elizabeth. I would do anything for you.

Elizabeth: I know. Thank you.

Elizabeth walked Rosemary to the door. They said their good byes and Elizabeth walked up the stairs into her bedroom. She sat down at the foot of her bed, started playing with her rings, looked up to the sky and once again began crying.

Elizabeth: My dear Jack, I love you so much. How it still hurts me each day. I miss you terribly. I want you to know that Jack is really doing okay and Laura is so amazing with him. I have finally made a decision to move on and that I would give Nathan a chance. Jack please forgive me. I never wanted to have to love anyone else besides you and our kids but iv'e been left with no choice. I love you and miss you.

Elizabeth then went, took off her rings. Put on makeup and a dress, walked downstairs and out the front door to go have a very much needed conversation with the man she had fallen in love with several years ago.