Rhythm [H.S]

part 14

It's been another month after her funeral. I went, but I couldn't stay till the end. It was too painful, too unfair, and too emotional.

I decided to play my songs to people, have fans and all of that. Be a celebrity. She'd have loved to see me standing on stage and singing to the fans.I released a few songs  on YouTube, but I never really sang them on stage, live.

The first song I released was Sign Of The Times. It's about her, you can go check it out on YouTube if you want, if you haven't already.

I have another song, it's more like a short poem, but I don't care. It's also about her.

These two songs were written the night I cut my fingers while performing them on my guitar.

I called it "To Izzie" even though her name wasn't included in the lines of the poem.

I walked downstairs to the kitchen to see Louis there leaning on the counter. He said, a beer in his hand "sup mate? Going to a meeting again?"

I have been going to meetings to help me get over her tragic death; going through the stages of grief. I'm in depression now, but so close to acceptance which I have no idea how to reach there.

I replied with a chuckle "no, I'm going to the studio, I have a new song to release Lou."

I paused before I snatched the bottle from his hand "give me that, I'm not supposed to let you get wasted on the kitchen floor now."

He protested "hey! That was my first!"

I looked at the five bottles behind him then back to him before I said, cocking an eyebrow with a smirk "are you sure? You sound like you've already lost your mind. Get some sleep Lou, drink water to sober up, or Izzie will haunt you in your dreams."

Wow, that was the first time I said her name in forever.

I wish she haunted me in my dreams though.

He rubbed his droopy eyes as he yawned before he muttered an 'okay' and he went to his room.

I smiled to myself before I made my way to the studio, which was the garage by the way.

I got everything ready once I got there and I sat in front of the mic with my guitar on my lap.

I started the camera and began to sing the lyrics I've been rehearsing since God knows how long.

"I feel like my heart is empty
As I sing to the crowd
If I live through eternity
I'd just scream aloud:
I've lost my ability
To play a sound
Without you there's no reality
As my words hit the ground
But there's a slight possibility
That it's you what I found

But I never did
You just disappeared
I never knew where you hid
And now you can see my falling tears

It was your destination
To cross that line
You've found your relaxation
And I'm really just fine

I tried and tried
To go after you
You seemed to hide
But I had to find you

But when you turned off the light
There was no longer use to run
Because I knew that night
That you were gone."

I had tears in my eyes as I opened them and turned off the camera.

Nothing will help me forget her, I couldn't do that.

She stole half of my heart and she didn't give it back. I wouldn't let her give it back either. I would give her anything she would have ever wanted.

I owed her a song, and I dedicated two, because I knew one will never be enough for her, not even two.

She deserved the world, but the world was too harsh on her that she left.

A/N: hey! How have you been?

One part left besties! Stay tuned!!

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All the love XX