Change and Secrets

Chapter 9

Saphira shot out of the night terror. Her breathing getting faster and faster nearing a panic attack. The inability to see anything worsened the situation. Her hand rested over her heart, her head spun, the images of the night terror came back up.

Then she immediately looked around for Brad. She couldn't see anything and in the first second, it made her panic, but then she realized the contours of her room, realized it was night and she was in her bed, realized that it was just another night terror.

Her breathing became controlled again and she looked around again. She could say that Kayla and her mother were still asleep and that it had to be in the middle of the night.   

She grabbed the water bottle from her nightstand and drunk half of it. She didn't feel better. 
She felt pain, anxiety, and loss crash on her. Mostly, she felt alone, left by everyone with no one left to protect her or listen to her.   
She wanted to scream, but she couldn't. It was like a lump in her throat that prevented her from speaking. 

Suddenly, she felt like falling, but she knew no one could catch her, but she wanted that. She wanted to be caught, not left on her own. 

Without thinking much, she climbed over her bed and went to her desk, where she had spotted her phone. She grabbed it and went into the bathroom, sliding down on the closed door. It was just as dark in there.  

Then a thought came into her mind. How did she end up in her room? 
She had been in Jayden's room and she slightly remembered falling asleep there too. She also remembered Jayden putting an arm around her and pulling her to him too and just like that she knew that he had been the one who brought her back into her room and put her in bed. 

Just like that sadness washed over her 'cause she was living a life she didn't want.
 There was pain too 'cause in that moment every wound of the past years reopened. 
And then, anxiety and loss.
Anxiety 'cause the fear to die rose from day to day. 
Loss 'cause she lost the image of her brothers she wanted to be true and she wanted it. 

Tears built in her eyes and she let it happen that they fell.
She sat there for a while, silently crying, knowing her eyes would be puffy later. 
Eventually, she switched on the light and looked at her phone clock. 

It was two in the morning and that made her rethink her decision to call him. 
She still did it and he picked up after the third ring. 

"Rose, Sweetie, what's up?"
"Why do you think something is up?" She tried to make her voice sound strong, she failed and it broke. 
"It's in the middle of the night, Sweetie. Tell me what's going on?" Hearing Tom's voice already helped, calmed her down and made her feel protected. 

"Come on, tell me. I'm here for you." And she told him everything. From the night terror, how she felt. Tom stayed quiet the whole time and let her talk. He listened and just speaking it out loud felt so good. 

"I'm scared of him", she finished. 
"I know,  but you shouldn't be. Don't be", Tom told her. 
"I have to go to him today and I don't want to, but I have to. If I don't he will come to me and if my brothers are with me what they are basically all the time, then it will be my end and-"
"You have to calm down first", he interrupted her. "Calm down and listen to me." 

She pulled up her legs and leaned her head back, her phone pressed to her ear while she listened to Tom's voice. 
"You're scared of him, I get that and it's totally normal. Who wouldn't be scared? But you are Rose. You're stronger and you held on for so long. You can hold on a little longer, especially since you're not alone anymore. You have me, I'm always here and, Sweetie, I mean it, I'll end it."

"You don't know who I am", she remembered him.
"But I could think of where you are and if I have to protect every black-haired girl of that school then so be it. I will do it, but I won't let you alone. I won't give you up. Never, 'cause you're my girl and I can't let my girl down," he promised.