Homeward Bound | Regulus Black

Chapter Fifteen

After a rather tense breakfast, filled with silence, the three of them had moved into the living room to, rather reluctantly, continue their initial conversation.

"I'm sorry I didn't, er, didn't respond better when I opened the door to you." Regulus admitted as he rubbed the back of his neck and struggled to keep his gaze fixed on his brother in front of him.
Sirius glanced over towards Esme, and then back to Regulus. "It's-it's alright. I get that I kind of... I get there's lots of mixed feelings between us."

Regulus then asked the question he'd been waiting a long time to ask, "Why didn't you tell us-tell me that you weren't the Secret Keeper for the Potters? Why didn't you tell me that you were going after Pettigrew?"
"I'm sorry, alright? I'm sorry!" Sirius sighed in exasperation, and then admitted, "I was doing what I thought was best for James and Lily. I wasn't keeping you in the dark to deliberately break your trust... Again."

Pausing for a moment to compose his thoughts, Regulus let out a long sigh. "I know." He nodded, slowly, "It just hurt to be left behind again. I know the time we spent in hiding wasn't great, but I really felt like your brother again... For the first time in a long while... I don't know, maybe I need you more than you need me."

An uncomfortable silence dropped, sharply, over the room, drowning the tension in a layer of guilt and sadness.
Throughout this conversation, Esme had ever so slowly been edging towards the door to the kitchen, hoping perhaps she could escape from the room without them knowing straight away.

"I'm..." She gestured towards the kitchen with her thumb, "Going to make tea. I'll be back."
Regulus watched as the door swung shut behind Esme, and kept his gaze trained on the door as he waited for his brother to speak again.

Sirius sighed and combed his hair back out of his face. "I know things are messy between us. I know it's mostly my fault. I'm sorry." His shoulders dropped down, "I just... I don't know... I didn't think you cared about me that much. I didn't think I was important. Just... Just let me try again, yeah? Give me another chance to be a good brother to you?"

"Of course I will. And... For the record, I'm sorry again that I wasn't nicer when you first got here." Regulus finally revealed a smile.
"It's alright." Sirius nodded, "We're all under a lot of stress. I could get used to having a good breakfast like that every day though." He chuckled.

Regulus rubbed the bridge of his nose, inhaled a slow, deep breath, and said, "I'm just going to check on Esme."

Esme folded her arms tightly across her chest and stared down at the kettle on the stove in front of her. If volunteering to make tea for everyone was the only way for her to get out of the other room, where the tension had almost reached a boiling point, then she was more than happy to do it.

"Es?"
She turned around to see Regulus lingering a short way behind her.
"Have you left Sirius along in the other room? Is everything alright?" She questioned.

He asked, "Can I have a hug?"

Turning fully around, Esme slowly nodded and opened her arms. After letting out a sigh, Regulus lowered his head and walked straight into her hold.
"I suppose this is one way to make your birthday memorable." She quipped as she wrapped one arm around his waist and the other around his shoulders, so she could comb through his hair with one hand.

"I know I shouldn't be mad at him - after all he's been through - but I am. I can't help it."
Esme replied, "Is it comforting to know that, if I were you, I would have torn his head off in rage?"
Regulus chuckled, "Yeah, that is quite comforting."

She leant back from him and cupped his face in her hands. "I know he's not the easiest brother in the world. When Sirius kept secrets from you, or rushed out to action without telling you, he wasn't trying to hurt you. He was trying to help others. As much as I hate to admit it... If I had been in Sirius' position, I probably would have done the same. He acted without considering the consequences."