Innocent

Chapter 12

I fell asleep against James’ shoulder. I don’t know how long I was asleep for but I soon had James shaking me gently to wake me up. I opened my eyes to see that it was dark outside and everyone around us was moving.

“Where are we?” I asked.

“Somewhere in Nevada,” James replied. “We are stopping for the night. The driver said we have to be back on this bus at eight o’clock tomorrow.”

I stood and we walked off the bus together, heading to the reception of the motel we were parked in front of. I booked a room for James and I and we headed to room ten. As soon as we got into the room, we put our bags down, taking off our sunglasses and then lay down on the double bed together, staring up at the ceiling. We lay there in silence.

“How much further do we have to go?” James broke the silence.

I pictured the states of our country in my head, trying to remember what states were near Kanas. Sometimes I hated remembering fifty states. “We will be crossing over to Utah tomorrow and then to Colorado. Kanas is after Colorado.”

“Well, so far no one has recognised us so hopefully we will be alright tomorrow as well.”

“I do too.”

James reached over and pulled off the cap that I forgot I was still wearing, letting my hair fall to my shoulders. I turned to face him. James ran his fingers through my hair and then moved them down to my cheek, stroking it with his thumb.

“Thanks for helping me, Ell,” he said to me.

I smiled at him. “Don’t mention it, James.”

His fingers moved down my cheek to my jawline. He slowly moved them towards my chin and then up to my lips, running them along them. A cold shiver ran down my spine, making me feel nervous at whatever James was doing. He then moved forward, placing his lips against mine. He kissed me slowly. I wasn’t sure whether or not if I wanted to kiss him back or not, but I did.

But the feeling of his lips against mine freaked me out a little. I quickly pulled apart from him and stared at him. I know James was nothing like his father but as I stared at him, flashbacks of what his father did to me flooded my mind. James realised his mistake for kissing me and suddenly felt bad.

“I’m so sorry, Ellie,” he replied.

I felt tears filling my eyes. I turned, getting off the bed and ran to the bathroom, locking the door behind me. I burst into tears, resting my back against the door and slid down until I was sitting on the floor. On the other side James was knocking on the door, telling me he was sorry for kissing me. It’s not like I didn’t like the kiss at all. It’s just that when James tried to kiss me last time, Mr Waters walked into the room and…

He grabbed me and pulled me down onto James’ bed, pinning me down with his strong arms. It didn’t matter how much I fought because James and I knew there was nothing we could do to stop his dad. I want these terrifying nightmares to go away and just pretend that they never happened. But they didn’t leave my memory. It has led me to believe that guys can’t be trusted. James, of course, I could trust. I knew he wasn’t going to hurt me in any way. I knew he had feelings for me just like I did to. But right now I wasn’t so sure on them.

“Ellie, I’m sorry,” James continued to plead at the door. “I didn’t mean to kiss you. I shouldn’t have done it. Please don’t hate me.”

I stood up and wiped my eyes before unlocking the door. James stood there with a concern look on his face. “I don’t hate you, James. I enjoyed the kiss, but it reminds me of the time when we were in your room and you were about to kiss me when –”