Wings, Metal, and Frost

Far From Normal

Bucky awoke with a start and sat up from the pillows and mattress that are too soft for his liking. The bed covers fell from his chest and the dog tags dangled from his neck as he leaned forward to catch his breath. Sweat dripped from Bucky's forehead and he turned his head to look at the sleeping body next to him. Ellie lay on her stomach with her left arm stretched towards Bucky, she was dead asleep. Bucky watched for the slow rise and fall of her back that matched her breathing, just to make sure. He pulled the blankets up to cover her bare back, then shut his eyes tight and sighed as he hung his head, working hard to rid his mind of the nightmare. Ellie's slowly hand made its way to Bucky's fingers that gripped the bedsheets. Bucky's eyes opened and he glanced down as she interlaced her fingers with his. Ellie mumbled something inaudibly into her pillow and Bucky scrunched his face. 

"Huh?" He questioned. 

Ellie turned her head to the side and spoke again in a hushed tone. "Did you have another nightmare?" Bucky opened his mouth to answer, but hesitated, and closed it. Ellie peeked one eye open to peer up at him suspiciously. "Bucky..." 

"Yeah," he breathed out. "I did." 

Ellie inhaled deeply and nodded. Bucky gave a thin smile and brushed her hair out of her face. He squinted his eyes at her, still adjusting to her new haircut. She was, too. It was an impulse decision on both their ends. One day Bucky wanted his hair off, so Ellie cut it, just like she used to cut her dad's. Then, she looked at herself in the mirror, held up her ponytail, and- snip. It wasn't a bad impulse decision at all. It was a weight off her head and easier to maintain. And Bucky said it framed her face nicely, and she trusted his word. Ellie noticed him staring at her hair. 

"Get used to it," she muttered. Bucky gave a light laugh and leaned back into the headboard.

"You know, you're going to have to talk to Dr. Raynor about the nightmare," Ellie added. 

Bucky gave an exasperated sigh and tilted his head. "Yeah, but I could just talk to you about it." 

"Bucky, as much as I want to help you, I'm not the person to do it," Ellie replied. "I wish I was, but I'm not a licensed therapist." 

She rolled onto her back and pulled the blankets up to cover her chest. She turned on the lamp on the bedside table to allow them some dim light. Bucky took her hand again and fidgeted with her fingers as he spoke. 

"I don't like Dr. Raynor," he stated. "She's passive aggressive." 

Ellie breathed out a laugh. The months following the Blip were a mess. Neither of them were expecting a court trial covering Bucky's time as the Winter Soldier, which was immediately set aside with the President's pardon. The pardon was a package deal with court-mandated therapy for Bucky. 

"At least tell her you crossed off a name on your list yesterday," Ellie said. Bucky hummed with false enthusiasm. Ellie turned on her side to face him. "I know it's a long process, but when this is all done, maybe we'll finally live a somewhat... normal life." 

"Did you have court-mandated therapy?" Bucky asked. 

Ellie paused. "No, I did that on my own." Bucky pressed his lips into a thin line. "I kinda got away with a lot of things, partially because I was an Avenger. Also, Nat and I got to mouth off on Capital Hill, so I 'spose that worked, too." 

Bucky gave a crooked smile and tilted his head. Ellie smiled as well and turned her head to look at the clock. 3:42. They still had time to sleep before the next day. She turned back to Bucky and placed her hand on his forearm. 

"Try to get some sleep," she said. Bucky laid down again and flattened his pillow with his hand. "Tell Dr. Raynor at least one thing, she might actually be of some help if you weren't so stubborn."