Breathless.

Untitled Part 1

Breathless.

The day I met my fear for the first time all I was aware of was the person in front of me, and the sudden lack of oxygen in my lungs.

The sudden lack of the ability to breath.

Breathless in the moment.

It was only for a moment, in the large crowd hurrying over Shibuya crossing in Tokyo.

I had been looking up at the sights, jostled by buisness men and fellow tourists, a guy on my right was vlogging and the overall atmosphere was vibrant and loud.

I was happy and uplifted, finally setting foot on the famous landmark a mere three hours after landing, it was a dream come true for me and the wide smile on my face, the look of wonder on my face probably bore testament of this to the people around me.

Every little detail caught my attention and I barely knew where to look as I was hurried over the crossing along with the crowd.

But then it happened.

Against the flow of the crowd I caught a glimpse of a strange person, and in that flash the world disappeared around me, all the sights, all the people became nothing. My attention had suddenly been sucked into this one human that was walking indifferently over the crossing.

I craned my neck and shoved my way towards the figure, every now and then catching glimpses of him. His black jacket, his curly hair. His faded red and worn shoes.

And then I lost him in the crowd, left with a listless empty feeling of unease.

I shook my head and hurried after the crowd that was soon leaving me behind, however famous the crossing was, it was still a working road.

I made it to the island in the middle just as the light turned and barely had time to blink before there was a touch on my shoulder.

I spun round, my mind was hyped and adrenaline was pumping through my veins, I didn't mean to startle the man behind me.

It was him.

Brown hair.

Black jacket

And worn red sneakers.

He held out my hat to me, but it wasn't this that I was staring at. It was the face of the man standing in front of me.

The blue eyes stung mine as their gaze didn't waver. His nose, upturned and covered in freckles. Brown curly hair, in need of a trim covered his forehead, and his mouth...

"J-Jordan." I stammered, surprised and filled with dread to see the familiar face.

I wasn't ready to see him again, not after the way we last parted. Not after the last thing I said. It had been years...

"Sorry?" he said surprised. "Who's Jordan?"

My heart stopped as the noisy world went on mute. The man standing before me was definitely Jordan, there was no doubt.

As I stammered the light turned red and people started crossing again, he gave me an odd look, shrugged and soon disappeared into the crowd, going in the opposite direction again, lost in the flow of people on their daily commute.

Rattled and shaky I stood there for some time. I'm not sure how long it was, minutes, hours, days... time was no longer a concept, sound was no longer heard, and distance had become irrelevant

I had always known I wasn't ready to face him again, but I had no way of knowing how underprepared I really was.

I had not been ready to greet him again.

But I will never have been able to muster a goodbye

And to him... I was a nobody.