Hans places a plate of donuts on the table in front of Snow. One of the donuts says White Shoes and one says Red Shoes.
"Oh, Hans," Snow coos. "You shouldn't have."
"Something sweet for someone sweeter," he announces.
We both take bites out of a donut each and it feels like it's melting in my mouth. "Holy fuck," I mumble. Snow is muted by her second bite. "This is spectacular!"
"Oh it's nothing," Hans insists. "Just tell me what you want. Anytime, for the rest of your life. Do you like fondue?"
"Behold!" Jack announces from the stairs. "Carved from the finest jewellers out of all the jewellers I know, which is a lot." He holds out a small case and opens it to reveal a beautiful tear-shaped diamond ring.
"Pretty," I remark. I'm not into diamonds. Well, I mean. They are pretty but I don't need them.
"And it's yours, Miss Shoes," Jack continues. "Yours in exchange for nothing." He coughs out a 'make it a kiss' to which I roll my eyes but ignore.
"That's really sweet, Jack," Snow says. "But I don't want your jewels, only your good intentions."
"My intentions are more than good," Jack counters. "They're super bonne."
I laugh a little. "You're cute, Jack," I say flippantly.
Before either dwarf can respond, I hear a voice outside. A really annoying high-pitched one. "Attention! Hideous dwarfs!" The voice says much louder. We all go to the window to see a man on a horse with a megaphone. "Is it dwarfs with an 'F or dwarves with a 'V? I wanna use whatever's more offensive," he smiles. I roll my eyes. This asshole. His hair is blond and slicked back. His clothes are red and white. Overall, not that attractive. Pretty fucking average.
To his right are Merlin and Arthur, both tied and on their knees. Oh, this asshole is going to face my wrath if he hurts them. I growl and Snow places her hand on mine telling me to calm down.
"Ugh. It's that loser, Prince Average," Jack complains.
"Heard that!" Average says into the megaphone. "It's Ah-vous-rahge."
"Ah, please," Hans groans.
"Inside that amateur's attempt at a facade of a sham of a travesty of a veneer of a castle, are two gorgeous wanted criminals. I hereby command that you all exit the premises and surrender post haste. Fail to comply and you will never see these two again." I growl again. I will not let him touch them.
I start to go to the door when Snow stops me.
"What?" I ask, anger in my eyes.
"I know what your thinking," she says. "Don't."
"If he hurts them I will never forgive myself," I tell her.
"Stay inside," she says. "I'll handle this."
I sigh. "No," I stop her. "Stay here and stay hidden. Don't let them find you. Don't come out until I tell you. Got it?" She nods and goes to hide in the closet. I sigh. She'll be safe.
"You have until three," Average announces. "One!" The guards flanking him step out into a formation. "Two! I lied. Charge!" The guards all rush to the house. I go to the door and walk out like the supermodel they see me as.
The guards skid to a halt and tumble over each other at the sight of me. Average walks over them, barely keeping his balance.
"Am I the person you want?" I ask them.
"Yes," Average breathes. "Yes, you are! Though I don't know if you're a person or a vision of beauty. Some kind of angelic... thing with wings.... Angelic wing things." I roll my eyes. This man is an idiot.
YOU ARE READING
Red Shoes, Red Hood, 7 Dwarves ~ Merlin x Reader
FanfictionDaughter of red riding hood and the Big Bad Wolf, Y/n was half-human, half-wolf. She had wolf ears and canine eyes and had a wee bit of superhuman strength. Adopted by King White when her parents died, she becomes Snow White's sister. So when their...
