DIVERGENT: Tobias (Watty Award Winner 2013)

Chapter 8

Chapter 8

On the train ride back from capture the flag, I sit in the farthest corner from everyone else. I don't really want to bothered. I need time to think. I need time to think about her, to think about me, to think about the way she is affecting me. I don't know how to explain it. If someone asked me to, I'd probably come up tongue-tied. It's like...like she has this hold on me. It's like she pulls me towards her. My eyes never seem to leave her when she's around and, if I'm not careful, my feet will find their way to her.

Tris is captivating. It's crazy that she would come into my life now, just when I was planning on leaving. Now I want to stay. I would go wherever she was. Maybe it was fate. But do I really believe in fate? I might not have a couple of weeks ago, but now I'm not so sure. It's the same way I though that I would never be happy here. I could never see myself living a happy life here, but I can see it now. It burns bright in my mind. A picture of the two of us, me and Tris, hand in hand. I can't leave now. I wouldn't be able to leave her behind. She means too much to me.

That's when I notice that I've been staring at her, though I'm not sure when that started. She's just talking with the other initiates, but I can't help but notice the beauty emanating from her every movement. The way she moves her hair back from her face, the way her eyes shine when she smiles, the way her blush looks on her cheeks.

That night it takes me awhile to fall asleep. It's probably because my head is so filled with thoughts of Tris. I realized something that night and it shows in my dream. I realize that I truly want to be with Tris. I also realize that I have to keep my thoughts to myself. At least until the end of initiation.

The initiates are back in the training room today. With targets again. But this time, they are throwing knives instead of shooting guns. Eric decides to take charge today and remind everyone of his authority, again. I notice the anger in his eyes and assume the cause is his team's loss yesterday in capture the flag. He takes his pride very seriously, like most Dauntless. Maybe on a different day I would've laughed at his hostility towards me, but I know that any wrong move I make could create consequences, but not for me... for the initiates...or worse, Tris.

The initiates are lined up facing Eric, ready for him to begin. Then Eric speaks up, a scowl still planted on his face.

"Tomorrow will be the last day of stage one, you will resume fighting then." He says. "Today, you'll be learning how to aim. Everyone pick up three knives, and pay attention while Four demonstrates the correct technique for throwing them." Eric tells them, making his voice deeper to disguise the hatred he has for me. Then he notices that no one has moved. "Now!" He screams at them. They all run towards the table across the room that is supplied with knives that are specially made for beginners and grab three each. They all try to hold the knives as if they know exactly what they're doing. But she doesn't. I like the fact that she doesn't try to withhold the fact that the knives are unnatural in her hands. She embraces the new feeling and uses that to her strength.

Eric starts walking toward me then, so I force my eyes away from her. He can't know what's going on my head. That would only lead to something bad for Tris. I will not let him see what I'm thinking. I won't. I can't. 

He's waiting for me to start throwing the knives. I can't keep him waiting, not with the mood he's in today. I turn towards the target, with my knife in hand, and clear my mind of everything. I need to concentrate. I hold the knife by its blade in my right hand. I breathe in and stare at the target. I exhale the same time that I throw the knife. It hits the target and a few of the initiates gasp. I throw another knife, repeating the same pattern as before. It hits the center as well. Before I can move from my stance though, Eric addresses the initiates.