It's strange, over the week the team has been super busy, practicing and studying. I helped Tsuki with Hinata and Kageyama trying to make sure they pass there exams, Iv gotten pretty close with the two, there both really fun, and watching them both struggle with classes and Tsuki scolding them is super funny. Sadly the two didn't pass their exams and are both super upset. I remember when we were getting our test scores back i rushed to their classroom with Yams hoping to see them both super excited only to see Hinata come out pouting, and Kageyama with this super dejected look like he was super disappointed in himself for his grades. They were assured tho that they would be able to get to the training camp just a bit late!
We're headed to the training camp, me Tsuki and yams are all sitting together, me and Tsuki on one side and yams on the seat across the isle. I'm starting to get nervous, not knowing how other teams are going to react to me being there! They don't even know who I am, or my situation!
"Tsuki!! What if their angry! Maybe I shouldn't have come- or-or maybe I shouldn't have even joined, we don't know how people are going to react!"
"It's going to be ok (Y/N) im sure their all nice." Yams said with this super supportive smile
"Yeah and if anyone bothers you I'll take care of them." Tsuki says knocking shoulders with me giving me a small smile.
"Yeah (Y/N) don't worry! You've got all of us, we won't let anything happen!" Suga says turning around, seemingly having heard me freaking out.
I sigh starting to scratch my hands a nervous habit of mine. After a minute or two Tsuki notices grabbing my hand giving me a disapproving look. He reaches down into the backpack he brought on the bus looking for something, pulling out a stress ball and hands it to me.
The rest of the bus ride me Tsuki and Yams ended up falling asleep, I guess I tired myself out with all of my stressing.
We got to Tokyo faster then I thought, the bus ride felt way to quick! But I guess that happens when you sleep, it's like time travel.
Getting off the bus we were greeted by some guy with crazy strange rooster hair, I quickly moved to hide behind Tsuki still scared about meeting the other guys. Daichi went over to talk to rooster head while the rest of us got our bags off the bus Tanaka and Noya pushing me and Tsuki and Yams to "walk faster" and "get more excited".
I overhear The guy Daichi is talking to saying " your missing a few aren't you? Wait who's the new kid" I move closer to Tsuki hoping his tallness will hide me, "why does the new kid look so scared of me." all I can think about is what if they're transphobic, what if they don't want me here, what's going to happen when they find out. "I'll tell you about him in a bit." Daichi responds giving me a concerned look. Tsuki makes a comment about annoying volleyball guys while nudging me to try and get my attention, he and Yams start bickering a little bit and Noya and Tanaka are practically bouncing off the walls and it keeps me distracted.
We were pointed towards the room we'd be staying in putting our bags down and changing. I started getting more nervous, Iv never met these people before and they don't know my situation. What if I walk on the court and someone yells at me, what if people start asking questions, what if one of them gets super angry and starts yelling at me, what if the team decides they actually side with them! What if-
"(Y/N)" it's Tsuki and Suga, the two are standing in front of me, Suga is holding my hands and Tsuki has a hand on my back.
"Come on let's sit down yeah," the two move me to go sit on a windowsill I look over their shoulders and see all the guys looking at me, I don't know why I feel so small now, I know them all, I know their not judging me, but I still feel like the piercing stare I'm getting from them is too much. I see Asahi start moving and coming to stand next to Suga on the opposite side from Tsuki.
"Hey (Y/N) I need you to breath for me ok," he gives me a really concerned look I hadn't even realized I was hyperventilating, taking one of my hands from Suga and putting it on his chest taking big deep breaths so that I can feel it. "In and out, in and out." The two words being repeated like a mantra.
Once I'm breathing slightly better Tsuki starts asking questions
"are you lightheaded?"
"Kinda"
"did you eat this morning"
"no"
"why?"
"Didn't have time."
"Can someone go grab a granola bar or something?" I see some movement and I think it was Noya who left to go grab something for me to eat. "Are you nervous about training camp?"
"Yes" I say quietly hoping that only he can hear
"Is it because you haven't played a real game yet."
I shake my head, I haven't even thought about that fact that I'm going to be playing a real game for the first time, the only people Iv played against is the team.
"Is it because your afraid people are going to be mean about your gender?"
"I- yes,"
I see everyone look around, I guess they hadn't thought this was really that big of a deal, but for me, this isn't something that happens normally, while they all had the door to this space opened to them, I had to hike up a mountain to just get to the door, and I'm just scared that once I get into the space that they all see as a right, is a privilege that most people like me don't have, it isn't a space I'm normally supposed to be in, and once you realize my situation everyone knows it.
Suga pulls on my hands making me face him. " it's gunna be ok (Y/N), if anyone says anything we'll deal with it. You've got the team! We're going to make sure your ok." Suga says with a reassuring smile.
Noya quickly gets back in the room with a granola bar and a water bottle sliding in front of me to hand them both to me. "Thanks Noya" it's a couple more minutes that I sit there catching my breath before I give everyone a nod letting them know I'm ok, everyone starts to disperse to Finnish getting ready.
Tsuki went over to his bag giving me an extra shirt he had, just like when I first stopped wearing my binder while playing. It's a reassuring gesture. I get changed and everyone starts leaving before Tsuki grabs my hand, holding me back for a second.
"Your gunna be ok. I promise. And if you get scared or anything just let me or Suga or Daichi know and we'll get you off the court ok?"
"Thanks Tsuki."
Tsuki speeds up a little bit to get to yams and Daichi slows down a bit to get back to me.
"Hey I wanted to let you know before we get in there, there might be a cupule people who know your situation, mainly Kuroo the captain of Nekoma, he's the guy from when we first show up. And I think Kenma their setter might. Him and Kuroo are close and he's friends with hinata, and we'll you know hinata. Other then that I'm not sure, they might have told some others but still I can't tell you what the rest know."
"Thanks Daichi, um did Kuroo seem chill about it when you told him?"
"Yeah, yeah definitely, I mean he was for sure surprised but, he ended up just saying 'oh! That's cool' so I don't think you have anything to worry about there."
"Thanks Daichi."
"Of course kid."
We finally all get into the gym moving to get warmed up before our first game!
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Let's just say we haven't been winning much, Coach put me into Hinatas spot so Iv been playing a lot. Honestly Iv been so stressed about my gender that I didn't have time to stress about the fact that Iv never been in a game before. Iv gotten a few good spikes in and have been blocking a bit, but I'm by no means super good! We've been doing lots of flying laps.
After one of our practice games with nekoma everyone was taking a break to drink some water when some guy with bleached long hair came over to me.
"Hey." He said kind of quietly, he seemed pretty awkward like he doesn't do this often.
"Hey?"
"Um I just wanna let you know- i mean I'm friends with hinata and he's told me about your situation."
"Ah I see"
"I just wanted to let you know I'm chill with it, all of us on Nekoma are, so you've got nothing to worry about with us."
"Thanks. It's uh really reassuring to hear that. I'm (Y/N)"
"Kenma."
"It's nice to meet you Kenma"
"So uh how long have you been playing, it's just we did a practice game with you guys not to long again and you weren't there."
"Oh yeah umm I just started playing only a few weeks ago."
"Wow really. Your pretty good for someone who's never played before."
"Ha thanks, but I really have my team to thank, they got me playing and have been pretty good teachers"
"I hope one of those teachers hasn't been Hinata I'm pretty sure most of what he says to explain volleyball is sound-effects."
"I know right! It's like he doesn't know words sometimes."
"Yeah it's really strange but you get used to it."
"Haha I guess eventually I'll learn to speak his strange language!"
"Yeah!" Kind of out of nowhere the guy from this morning Kuroo I think his name was wrapped an arm around Kenmas shoulders.
"Well well what do we have here! Is Kenma actually talking to someone!"
"Shut up Kuroo"
"Hi I'm Kuroo, (Y/N) right?"
"Yeah, yeah that's me."
"Well it's nice to meet the newest player." He sends me a wink, "come on Kenma our games about to start, it was nice to meet you (Y/N)!" The two walk off headed back to the court.
It's a little bit later in the day that Hinata and Kageyama show up! Hinata taking my spot in the game, and honestly I'm grateful, this day has been exhausting.
An: hope you guys are liking this so far!!! Still trying to figure out who this is going to be with but I hope I get some suggestions!!! Thank you guys for reading!!!! I'll try to get my next part out soon!!!
