Dosage of Serotonin

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Have you ever felt like you were going around in circles? That life seemed to follow a certain pattern? It was like running a race, but the finish line kept moving further and further. Parang loop na hindi natatapos; building na walang exit. Parang kahit anong gawin mo, babalik ka lang kung saan ka nagsimula. Gigising, kakain, magtatrabaho, uuwi, matutulog, at uulitin ang lahat ng 'yon sa susunod na araw.

I gazed out the window, lost in thought. The raindrops splattered over the pane as if they were longing for this very moment. They finally broke free from the clouds that had imprisoned them for too long.

The smell of my coffee piqued my senses. Its steam rose from the mug, bearing the soothing aroma of freshly roasted beans.

It was a beautiful morning—a wonderful way to start the day.

"'Wag mo nang kaisipin 'yon, Tita. Kung talagang gusto ka niya, magtatanong 'yon kay Tita Chin kung ano ang number mo," sabi ni Mark, dahilan para maputol ang iniisip ko.

Umupo siya sa tapat ko bitbit ang sketch pad at mechanical pencil niya.

I pursed my lips slightly. "I'm not thinking about him."

"Sus. Dalawang linggo mo na ring bukambibig 'yon. What's his name again? Calix?" He chuckled. "Tunog fuckboy."

"Huwag mong gawing kasingpangit mo ang simula ng araw ko, Mark." Inirapan ko siya.

Muli siyang tumawa. "Bakit ba kasi hindi mo na lang ibinigay? Sana ay hindi ka nagsisisi ngayon."

Marahas akong tumayo at masamang-masama ang loob na tiningnan siya kahit wala naman siyang kasalanan. Two weeks had passed, and I was still annoyed! Kung naibigay ko sana ang number ko, may fling na ako ngayon!

"I told you! The head nurse called. Hayop talaga sa timing!" I took a deep breath and went to the sink to wash my mug.

Narinig ko ang patuloy na pang-aalaska ng pamangkin ko, pero hindi ko na siya pinansin. Ang ganda-ganda ng araw tapos ipapaalala niya lang sa akin ang isa sa biggest life regrets ko?!

I was all set to answer Calix that time, pero ang angas na bigla na lang tumunog ang cellphone ko. The magic disappeared! Our staring contest had ended! The enchanting feeling was crashed! Just because of that freaking phone call!

I was hesitant to leave him there, but at the back of my head, I knew I would see him again. I mean, may after party pa naman. May mutual friends din kami. He even smiled when I showed him my phone was ringing! Para bang ipinapakita niya sa akin na ayos lang.

I had to excuse myself, kasi syempre, trabaho ko 'yon. Kaya lang, talagang kaibigan ang turing sa akin ng langit dahil hindi ko na ulit siya nakausap! Hindi ko naman kasi inaasahang aabot ng apat na oras ang pagpapakalma ko sa pasyente kong nagkaroon ng manic episode. Ni hindi na ako nakapunta sa after party dahil sa pagod. Panigurado kasing lasing na ang mga maaabutan ko roon. I just texted my friends to let them know I had an emergency call.

Sinabi pa ni Anne na ako ang pinag-uusapan nila dahil gusto nilang asarin si Calix. Ibinibida raw ako ng mga kaklase namin noong college. I was happy to know that. At least Calix got a glimpse of how I had lived my life so far.

And so, the next day, I was kind of hoping to see him again, but I found out that he had gone home already.

Lotlot talaga!

Ang pinakanakakainis pa, hindi manlang siya gumawa ng way para makapag-usap ulit kami. Baduy! Boring! Walang kuwentang kalandian!

Bwisit, hindi ko talaga siya type. Maganda lang ang muscles niya at mukhang masarap ka-cuddle pero hindi ko siya type!