I'm Leaving (Nessian Angst and Discovery)

Foreign Lands

The Reckoning, 8 days after The Day Nesta Left

They gathered again in Rhys' study; Cassian, Feyre and Elain still wore devastated expressions with dark circles under their eyes. Mor just stared out of the window lost in her own thoughts and Amren was watching Rhys carefully, as Rhys surveyed the stricken trio.

Cassian spoke first, his voice hoarse from the constant sounds of distress that had rendered him unable to speak coherently from the last seven days. "How could we let that happen? How? She is my mate for fuck's sake." Feyre and Elain looked sympathetically towards him, the loss of a third member of their blood family writ large on their faces.

Rhys started carefully, "She made her own choices, both in Velaris and in choosing to leave our family....." but trailed off at the look of outright anger shot his way by Cassian. "We failed her, I failed her, over and over again. She is not like us, able to laugh off loss and danger through the nature of our camaraderie. Nesta isn't that person and we should never have forced her to try to become that. We were cold, indifferent and pre-judged her based on Feyre's stories and our own view of the world. I cannot, will not, forgive myself until I get her back and beg her to forgive me even if that takes until the three holy mountains crumble to dust."

Rhys started again, "We decided as a group to intervene, you as well brother, so this is shared between us. You cannot deny that." Cassian nodded solemnly and responded, "I can never forgive myself for pushing her into this direction for help", the last word was bitten off with a mixture of disgust and sorrow.

Feyre straightened in the settee which she shared with Elain and whispered in a cracked voice, "What do we do? We have to get her back, but I don't know how, where to look.... nothing, I don't know anything. Mor, tell us again what happened?" The beautiful female in red turned her gaze from the window and looked at Feyre, "It's just as I said before, she was going to do something reckless, but not stupid, and I believe her, she's not a stupid female. I have no other knowledge or ideas beyond that."

Elain lifted her deadened gaze, "Maybe another Court took Nesta, to impress her into servitude or hold hostage against the Night Court's good behaviour...", Rhys interrupted her, "Not the second because she had Mor write the note that she wasn't our responsibility anymore." Mor winced visibly as her own experiences of being abandoned swam to the surface of her mind again.

"She is our fucking responsibilty!" roared Cassian, "Do you not get it? She was turned fae because WE failed to protect her! We would have lost the Hybern War if not for her and Elain. For all the Archeron sisters, without them we would be cursed to live as Amarantha's or Hybern's slaves forever, if not for ALL OF THEM. But you only care about the two that fit in with your point of view, and that's YOUR failure brother." Cassian was on his feet, wings flared and Rhys was already beginning to respond to this challenge in the fae way of force meeting force. Azriel shadowed into the room, glanced at his brothers and said softly, "Calm down both of you. Nothing good can come of fighting between ourselves." Cassian glanced at his brother and slowly forced his anger back within himself and sat back down, but his breathing was still erratic.

Amren looked at Azriel, "Found anything shadowsinger that might help?" Azriel shook his head, "I went to where Mor left her and scented the faint residue of magic in the air. Very faint and something I haven't experienced much before. It was similar to when Nesta uses her power, actually it was pretty much identical but a slightly different echo", he frowned at that, "the shadows have started combing the Prythian Courts for any trace of her to see if she has been taken by Beron or any other High Lord, but nothing yet.They'll move onto the continent, to Montesere, Vallahan, the Mortal Queens... everywhere." The room turned silent again as the impact of the monumental task struck them.