Crashing Colors

Chapter Eight

As the sky got darker, the room got emptier, and people muttered things to me before they left, but the entire outside world seemed hazy around me. All I could do was stare out the window in silence. At some point it was just Ethan and I in the room, and I had managed to peel my gaze from the trees and turn it to his eyes.

"It's going to be okay, Victoria," he spoke softly, as if he was scared to be too loud.

"What if I'm never ready?" I whispered.

"What are you talking about?" he furrowed his brow.

"My mom, she used to tell my dad that he would know what to do when he was ready. She said the right choice would always present itself, but only when he was ready. I don't know if I ever will be ready," I breathed, crying for the first time since Ian and Dad had helped me try to make sense of the situation.

I watched his eyes fill with tears, until they couldn't take it anymore and all spilled over. He looked at me intently, silently communicating that he didn't have an answer. But I knew that no matter how long it took, he would be right there with me, every single step of the way.

"Vic, I'm not qualified to tell you when you'll be ready to make a decision about that. But I can tell you that whatever decision you make will be the right one. There is no wrong answer, this isn't school," he cupped my cheek in one hand and wiped his own eye with the other.

I sniffled and kept my eyes on his, "I don't want to do it."

"I know you don't. And you don't have to. But I do think that you need more time to process it before you write it off entirely," his voice softened.

"I don't want to be in this hospital anymore, Ethan. I want to go home. I need to go home. This place is doing absolutely nothing to help me, and if I don't get out of here soon, all they're going to do is hurt me," I sobbed, and he put both of his hands on my face, trying to calm me down.

"Victoria, honey," my dad walked into the room, holding the small brown and spotted puppy in his left arm and a cup of coffee in the other.

"Oh my gosh, Dad, I don't think you're allowed to bring dogs into a hospital," I wiped my eyes and looked at him and the dog directly.

"That's what I brought her here for, actually," he stepped into the room and laid the dog on top of me on the bed, and it started towards my face with its tail wagging rapidly.

"Oh my gosh, hello there," my voice rose and I grabbed the puppy in my own hands, "What do you mean, that's why you brought her here?"

As the words left my mouth, Dr. Mindel came into the room behind my father with a half smile on her face. My dad looked from me to her, and then back to me. He wrung his fingers and started to say something, but couldn't quite seem to get the words out.

Taking over for him, Dr. Mindel said, "Even if you do decide on the surgery to try to salvage your nerves, it would be beneficial for you to have a service dog. And your dad had the brilliant idea to get your new puppy here trained to be one for you."

Dad smiled at me, "I originally told Liam that he could name her, but if she's going to be your service dog, I figured you should be the one to name her."

I looked back at the excited puppy in my hands, licking Ethan's face in front of me. He was smiling and playing with her. As I was watching them, I was trying to figure out what kind of name would fit a service dog.

"Um, I don't really know. Ethan what do you think?" I looked at him intently.

"I don't know, baby, what do you want to name her?" he looked me in the eye.