One Last Time - I'll Make It Feel Like Home

Chapter 10 - Zayn

Sitting on the couch all five of us again, feels good. Normal.

Now that we're actually going to ask Liam and Harry, I feel all the nerves return. Causing me to keep a death grip on my thighs, knuckles turning white.

I stare straight ahead, trying to get control of my raising heartbeat and the lump rising in my throat. I haven't seen Liam since the day I left. Which was almost six years ago.

Having one person between us, that person also being someone I hurt horribly when I left, is making my head spin. Liam looks pretty much the same as he did. Well, I knew that. I've been stalking him for the last six years. He suits the long hair.

"Maybe I should grow it out." I mumble.

"Maybe you should what?" I hear Harry ask with a laugh.

I snap my head in his direction, eyebrows raised. He just looks back at me expectantly. "Um. Nothing." I say, internally versing my voice for cracking.

Harry shakes his head with a small smile playing on his lips. I don't think I've realized just how much I missed seeing him in person. Just being near Harry again brings me a sense of peace. Being near all of them does.

"Ok, lads!" Louis calls out with a clap of his hands, "Let's focus. This is important."

I chuckle, looking at his scared but serious expression. His blue eyes flicking between each of our faces, lingering on a certain curly haired one.

I nod my head in agreement before speaking, "Okay. Harry, Liam." I look at them as I say their names, "First of all, I am so, so fookin sorry for what happened. Me leaving the band."

Harry opens his mouth to say something, but I cut him off before he gets the chance, "I'm sorry for the way it happened. You can hate me, that's ok. But just please know that I never meant to hurt any of you." I say, looking at each of my best mates, as Niall squeezes my shoulder.

Without warning, Harry lunges at me. I'm being attacked in a hug by giant frog. He squeezes his arms tight around my body. Practically squeezing the living shot out of me. I turn my head to the right, trying to get Louis or Niall to help me, seeing them trying to hold back their shock and amusement.

I send them both a glare, since they're willing to let me get suffocated, before turning my head back towards my last chance at life. But seeing that Liam looks equally pleased and amused, a wide grin on his face, I have one option left.

"Mate, you're killing me." I manage to wheeze out.

Harry loosens his grip a bit but doesn't let me go, burying his face in my neck. I lift my hands, my right rubbing his back, the left just reaching up to his neck, allowing me to play with his curls.

I send Liam, Louis and Niall helpless looks, all of them seeming to be just as confused as I am by Harry's sudden affection. It's only when I feel the moisture in the crook on my neck that I realise he's crying.

"Hey. Haz." I try, "What's wrong?" I ask gently. He just shakes his head in response.

Liam mouths, "What's up with him?", concern written all over his face. I mouth, "I don't know." Back.

I hear Niall and Louis whispering, just deciding to focus on trying to console Harry. So I do, yet again the only thing that comes to mind. I start humming If I Could Fly softly in his ear.

"If I could fly

I'd be comin' right back home to you

I think I might