✨Y O U R C H O S E N O N E ✨ { harry potter x reader}

gay chihuahua bitches and sexual tension

Y/n's point of view:

"For weeks you carry around this book, you practically sleep with it and yet you have no desire to know whose it is," Hermione complains

"I didn't say I wasn't curious, and I don't sleep with it!" harry defends himself with whatever dignity is left of him after calling himself a "prince"

"It's true! I always check you before going to bed and you're always reading that bloody book! It's like being with Hermione!" *tsktsktsktsk* I have so much to ask and say on Ron's comment, I can't-

"Your point Hermione?" Y/n asks after several minutes of silence

"Well, I WAS curious, so I went to the"

"The library," all say in unison

"And?" Y/n asks

"And nothing..." Hermione sadly mutters

"I couldn't find ANY reference to The half-blood prince"

"Well that settles it!" harry exclaims as soon as she finishes

Sounds like something a criminal would say mhmh , except there is no criminal...

And there is no crime...

There is only harry and is his nuisance

You know what? You fucking tell this to a soul and I know how to hide a body (you can't even kill a fly, you say you're afraid they're beady eyes are gonna pop ooze)

Yeah, but I had a sketchy house-elf, so I HAVE INDEED learned a thing or two.

You know what? Just forget it-

"Does anyone fancy a butterbeer?" harry purposes

"An odd proposal, but sure"

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After ron and Hermione's weird convo and whatever high shit professor Slughorn came in and on, I can't even-you know what? harry just asks me a question then stares gayly at my emo cousin who always looks he had 3 doses of weed at 9 in the morning

He goes "so, looking forward to anything this Christmas?"

While I was examining my butterbeer broodingly

"Well, it's Christmas, so that, and I'm moving in with tonks and lupin by the way" and you know what I look up to see? I see harry staring at that bleached Beverly hill chihuahua bitch and ron and Hermione staring at each other with whatever sexual tension they have, like the sexual tension at that moment was astro. nomical!, which, oh yeah it gets worse, makes me blurt out "oh just fuck each other already!"

"My dumbledore, did say that out loud?"

Everyone. shifts uncomfortably in their seats

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*shriek* 

okay now I'm annoyed

"what does this biiitc....holy shit..." 

*Katie/Katy happens*

*Katy/Katie voodoo mama juju shit ends*

"she definitely broke some bones, oh Lord," Y/n says 

"how are you normalizing this?" Hermione whisper-scolds

"we're WIZARDS for god's sake! THIS IS what's normal okay? the fact that this doesn't happen every day isn't normal since there is a homicidal maniac with no nose on the loose! and he has magic powers too! you know what fucking forget it!" I put my hands in my pocket, stomp-walk, make an exit, make it dramatic by muttering "you try being nice, hmpp"  kick that stupid bracelet/necklace thingy on my way, woo, that was a powerful surge from a necklace that thin and ugly...

what a fugly necklace thingy! my grandmother's hairstyle looks better than that vile thing!

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I feel like this way more of a comical chapter than a normal one should be, and before this, I'm sorry, I was busy coping from my *asshole phase* uhm, anyway!

Tomorrow, I'll post one and I'll also try blending a routine of posting a chapter each day

For now good night! And love ya'll *mwah*

By the way, are you conflicted that should you watch the big mouth?, a big fat yes, it's honestly super therapeutic and makes you self conscious of yourself as a teenager and honestly has helped me a lot with my mental health state with laughs and love <3

That was cheesy af