In Love With My Co-star

In Rage

                                                          Abhishek's POV

I know my love already gave you the vivid details. But there was so much he didn't know.

Between us, I don't want him to know.

There are things you don't know about him.

You may know him as a bit sensitive and weepy, but the love of my life has had a lot of things taken from him.

So I ask you not to judge him too harshly.

The moment his call ended, a terrible feeling settled on my gut.

A feeling of terrible things to come as people say. A premonition swept through me.

The lights from the ghats reflected in the Ganges. The winter took away the sun too early. That's why this early evening looked like the moon at midnight- high and bright.

The balcony upon the Chet Singh Ghat gave the majestic view of the Ganges and the ghats it meandered through. Sameer would have loved this view.

In college, we would always roam deep into the nights, discussing the exorbitant rates the hotels overseeing the Ganges charged for a single night. Deep down, the both of us desired to be here, right where I stood on the balcony, arms around each other.

Today it gave me none of the pleasure as I stood alone. It was not even my plan to come here. My manager did everything.

For me, the fun part of any trip is to plan it according to the needs of my love and myself. The thought and the intricate details to fill our days with adventure make me work harder for the better.

Knowing I would end up doing whatever he desires, I still love every second of it.

In conclusion, the Ganges and the beautiful starry night made me miss him more.

I know I am at fault.

If you give me a few moments, I might be able to explain some things.

The lead character in this movie fetched my agency quite an amount of money and publicity. Even a mosquito coming so much so as near me can be punished for the fear of catching malaria. They have to protect me to shield themselves from any further scrutiny.

It was a fair deal. Although I can see it's hurting Sameer too much.

Ignoring the foreboding, I turned the doorknob and entered the hotel room, the sight of the beautiful Banaras blocked by the door.

The room was exquisite. It had ancient architecture, those intricately woven designs on rock and marble carved and coloured. Even the bath was enormous with all kinds of taps in it.

I shouldn't even talk about the bed. The Maharaja bed looked lonely without Sameer in it. He would have enjoyed making stupid remarks about the sexual behaviour of the past kings. I would have laughed like crazy at that.

No need to hate me more. I hate myself enough already. If only Sameer had been here, I would have been my happiest.

As you know, we both decided to keep our relationship private. We can't even think about going public. It was completely out of the question.

Take a look around yourself and tell me if it was not the right thing to do. I agree it gets suffocating sometimes but what we have now is the best we could go.

I sit here on this ridiculously huge bed alone, thinking about protecting him when all I have accomplished in doing was to hurt him more as the second passes.