two
it was a quiet saturday morning and zayn stood in front of his canvas, paint brush hanging between his teeth, his naked upper body covered in different swirls of color. his eyes raked to the painting in front of him— a dark body of a girl standing in the midst of rain and heavy running crowd.
along with his other paintings, this had meaning but somewhere at the back of his head, zayn knew that this one had much more value and beauty to it. various different colors mixed together here and there, joining into one dark color to use for the shadow and body as the sky and crowd was filled in with purple, pink, sky blue and white. hints of green showed when you focused in and the colors mixed together, featuring one beautiful artwork.
the pain, worry and sadness that the hues and canvas held was beyond zayn's expectations and he knew that only some people could understand what it meant but alas, in his life there weren't much people to hold on to. his dainty fingers slid across his face as he massaged his stubble.
the quietness helped zayn know that someone out there was the same as him. he went to his room, cleaning up the paint brushes and came back. he put the canvas on the corner in his apartment's living room. zayn went back to his room and put on a white shirt— he didn't want to wash the hues off of his skin. because it was the one visual representation that he had something passionate inside of him and painting was one of the things he adored.
shades of blue, violet and dark red was splattered across the white walls of his big room, some of his paintings and family pictures hanging alone. zayn sighed, falling back into his bed only to feel his phone buzz on the covers. he looked at the phone and realized that it was logan.
ugly: open the doooorrrr!
zayn threw his phone inside his pocket and went to open the door, seeing his friend's face. logan hands were tied with bags as he strolled inside with his twinkling eyes. he followed him inside, particularly curious.
"what's in there?" he asked. logan flashed him a grin and started talking.
"chinese food. i know you haven't had one in forever, so i thought i'd bring you. oh, and pizza too! your favourite— pepperoni with a bunch of capsicums, olives and other shit. and, and.. vodka" he finished, taking out every meal when he said it's name. zayn immediately knew that something was wrong, very wrong, and logan needed a mighty big favor otherwise he wouldn't ever dare spent even a penny into buying him food. zayn frowned and opened his mouth to speak bit was cut off.
"okay. i can't take this anymore. i need a favor or think like i'm offering you a deal." logan blurted out and fast-walked towards the living room, zayn strolling behind him, needing answers.
"if you have put me into any trouble, i swear to the fucking god, logan, i will slice your dick into half and feed it to the stray dogs." zayn calmly said but inside, his nerves were quivering and his heart was hammering against his ribcage at the thought of what his idiotic friend did.
"i am so dead." logan muttered when zayn wasn't looking.
"speak, fucktard." the brown-eyed lad commanded, his eyes holding a sudden glint of power and fury. logan gulped. he knew he was in deep shit.
"okay, fuck. don't get angry okay?—" he began, pinching his eyes in the process. "—but of course you will get angry! oh my god. you're probably gon' do what you told me you will do. please don't slice my dick or my balls! that's the only thing in my life that makes sense and i don't want it go away! zayn, you have to understand. i don't even know why i said 'oh i have a friend who sings and he'll be happy to sing in front of two thousand people because he's very good and have i mentioned that he cannot hear and has stage fright along with panic attacks? but hey, he will sing very good!' stupid stupid me! fucking shit. see? i said it. phew, thank god. now you can slap me." logan finished with a puff of air and he wiped his forehead. he looked up at zayn, obvious to see his face furious. but oh, his face was blank with no emotion whatsoever written.
"can you repeat that? might i remind you that i am deaf and you're speaking too fast like a retard, which you are by the way, no offence. now repeat."
logan's face was in o the whole time because he spent five minutes of his precious life, scared. as he finally said the thing he wanted to say, this fucker hadn't even listened.
"fuck you." logan said, slowly, very slow even zayn rolled his eyes.
"ugh, speak already!" he impatiently whined, his legs bouncing up and down.
"you. are. going. to. sing. tonight." logan replied, the whole time closing his eyes and cringing. zayn stared at him for a while and the sound of a loud and boisterous laugh surrounded them and the quiet apartment.
"nice one. tell the truth, mate." he was still smiling because honestly, did logan actually think this prank was going to work? he knows how much zayn doesn't like to sing in front of audience and how he gets stage fright. and knowing logan practically his whole life, he knows that his friend jokes around a lot, this just being one those times.
"i'm not joking. you're singing tonight at the charity concert at the local arena." logan said, his voice low and panicked.
"stop it. it's not funny anymore." zayn huffed, ready to walk away.
"zayn, for fuck's sake! i'm not kidding. you have to sing tonight and i know it's my fault, you can beat the shit out me but please, don't bail. lucy was hoping to hear you sing and she's so excited! as well as other people. don't disappoint yourself." logan said.
"i need a minute." zayn said and walked way, closing his bedroom door and sitting at the edge of his bed just, thinking.
he knew logan wanted the best for him but sometimes his friend can be the most idiotic person. zayn thinks that he sings fairly good, even though he can't hear himself, because his friends always seem to praise his voice with so much adoration. he vividly remembers the first time he sang in front of anyone. it was one of his best friends from back home, liam. they were merely teens, pulling into the thread of puberty and acne. it was the night of cold december on christmas and just like always, the two were sitting on his bed.
"i heard you sing yesterday." liam said. his puppy brown eyes were twinkling and a proud smile was evident on his face. zayn found his eyes growing wide.
"what?" he spluttered out. liam kindly shook his head and patted his shoulder.
"yesterday. i came to give you back your xbox. i was going to knock on the door but then i heard you singing. you have an amazing voice, mate. you're gonna make it huge!" he praised and zayn quietly scoffed.
"i'm just a little boy from bradford, liam. you fantasies about your future life here because you know it would never happen. you're just going to be something, anyone. but not someone. and i sing because i like it. i don't see myself singing in front of people, any people. i don't see myself to sing as job, or a burden. it's a hobby and i'd like to keep it that way." he finished. liam slowly nodded.
"but if you ever end up stumbling in the center of a stage and the crowd that would cheer you, don't forget to tell your best mate." he chuckled. zayn laughed.
"sure, sure. like it would ever happen."
and here he was, in a dilemma situation. zayn wasn't sure what to do. he knows that if he passes this chance to show his talent to the world, he will regret it with his life but on the other hand, he always gets nervous and panic attacks when things like these happen— when he's going to be the center of everyone's attention. but a part of him is telling him to do it, to push his limits and go out there. and that's exactly what he did.
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this chapter was sort of a filler but definitely gives you guys more of a feel toward zayn's personality and everything so do keep reading!! i love writing this, jane is coming soon aye
