DEDICATED TO MY HOMIE sportslovas14 FOR MY DOPEEEE COVER **mwahs** !
3 Months Prior....
#Hanna
I wiped my nose, huffing in defeat. As much as I tried to fight it, I was sick. It was my mother's fault. She was the only person I knew who had three adult sons, who so happened to be back home, but, found the need to force her teenage daughter to shovel 3 feet of snow. Who does that? I bitterly ripped my heavy sweater up over my head and kicked off my boots one by one. Despite outside's artic temperature, inside the house was like a sunny day in the bahamas. My grandmother had what she called "thin blood" so we really didn't have much of a choice.
The relatives were around the house in every nook and cranny for the holiday season. I was once hopeful that they'd all go home after Christmas but it seems that there were still a large amount of straglers waiting it out until the new year. It was offcially December 31st and while all minds were focused on ushering in the new year, mine was focused on a totally non-sequitar subject. School.
While I was a pretty good student (A-average and honors student), I lacked in what every teenage creature survived off of.... a social life. I had literally ZERO friends, never had a boyfriend, never been kissed, zip, zilch, zero. The status of my virginity is inarguably clung to me for dear life. If I could, I would just hurry up and get rid of it already. Sometimes, I feel like it's like a curse, the way everyone whispers when I walk through the hallways of St. Margaret's Catholic School. It's like they smell it on me and turn up their noses at my foul odor. I hate it. If it weren't for my brothers' reputations though, I'd probably be bullied and beat up regularly. The Warren brothers were badass, football legends around these parts. Nobody dared to do anything to their little sister, you know.... besides make her an outcast.
I sighed and returned from my thoughts as I heard my mother's shrill voice call for my presence with the rest of the family in the entertainment room. I guess she'd found yet another game for us all to play. I pulled my long socks up past my knees before readjusting my hand-me-down band shirt. What do those kids at school call it?........ Swag ! Yeah... I have none. My clothing is all stuff my brothers can no longer fit or what I've stolen from them over the years. I just don't have the time or patience for shopping and besides, I really don't know what to buy.
"Hanna! Come quickly! We're about to begin!" she called. I rolled my eyes as I walked out of my room and joined the Warren clan as we were forced by my mother yet again to participate in "Family Fun Time". Kill me now !
*
#Kwan
"Why can't you just be normal, Kwan?! Why does everything with you have to be so damn agressive?! I mean I know the black guys fuck differently from white guys but fuck, I can't keep letting you rip into me like this! It hurts!" yelled Jamie, putting her clothes back on.
"Then leave." I spoke cooly. She wasn't the first... and she for damn sure won't be the last....
"Something is wrong with you, Kwan! You need help! You're not norm-"
"I SAID LEAVE !" I screamed, startling her. She stared at me wide eyed before scrambling for her clothes and damn near running out of my room. I took a deep breath and exhaled, closing my eyes.
Every time. Every single time I think I found her.... it's just an imposter. I always make it clear who I'm after, I always say it up front. Why can't she just be here? Why can't she just be presented to me like food on a platter? I know she's out there... and I'm tired of searching, waiting for her.
I'm tired of waiting for my "Yes" girl.
A couple summers ago, I read this book. It was about this guy who was sort of like me. He had anger issues and he had a hard time controlling himself. He'd snap at anything and at anybody. But then he met a girl. The first word he'd ever heard her say... was yes. He'd heard her voice before he'd seen her though. He searched for her through majority of the book, obsessing over the exact way she'd said the word "yes". He'd memorized it, playing it over and over again in his head until he found her. Once he finally found her, he realized that she was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. And so he persued her. She was perfect in every way. And when he told her that he loved her, they made love. But the most interesting thing happened... She liked it rough. She hated slow sex, she wanted it rough and hard. And so he complied. They became addicted to each other, getting it in any and every chance they got. And the word "yes" was always their trigger word. Of course like all love stories, they went through challenges, but in the end, they married each other and lived happily and aggresively ever after.
How does that correlate with me? Well, I want my "Yes" girl. I know the popular jock could have whoever he wants, but... that doesn't mean he wants every girl. I was never that guy who wanted to fuck as many girls as I possibly could. It just so happened that through all the girls I'd fucked, none of them had yet been my "Yes" girl. I mean, if I was going to find her, I'd have to look, right? Well, that's what I was doing. And Jamie had proven to me that she wasn't even close to being it.
I stood and grabbed my towel from the chair next to my night stand. I needed a shower and time to strategize. I won't give up my search. I'll know her when I find her, I just know it. And she'll be perfect.
