Tortured but Together (A Hunger Games Fanfiction) [UNDER EDITING]

Chapter Twenty-One

A/N: Usual PSA that the Hunger Games characters belong to Suzanne Collins and not to me. Anyway...enjoy! ;)

(Peeta POV)
"KATNISS! NO! NO!" I wrench myself out of the grip of the peacekeepers and I try to rush over to Katniss, but they're already dragging her away. "KATNISS, PLEASE DON'T GO! PLEASE JUST STAY WITH ME!" I scream, my voice cracking out of desperation and despair every couple of seconds.

When they drag her out of the room, I try to launch myself at President Snow. "YOU KILLED HER! YOU KILLED KATNISS!! IT'S BECAUSE OF YOU THAT SHE'S DEAD!"

Someone puts a hand on my shoulder, and I turn around to see that it's Caesar Flickerman. "You look like you could use a break. Come on, let's head out before you say things you can't take back," he says, gently leading me out of the room.

"Why are you being so nice to me? I doubt I've done I've done anything to deserve it," I admit.

"Because of young love, Peeta. I've been married to my wife for 20 years, and there isn't a thing I wouldn't do for her. So I can understand where you're coming from. Your goal isn't to hurt the Capitol, your goal is just to protect Katniss and be able to stay with her. Which, when I see the way you two look at each other, it makes perfect sense. Whether or not your love story was true from the beginning, I know it's true now. I truly am sorry, Peeta."

Walking while we talk, Caesar leads me into another sitting room and closes the door behind us. "I figure the least I can do is give you some privacy to grieve, with circumstances being what they are, I can't do anything more for you, but I wish you luck," he says, walking out the door.

Once the door shuts yet again, I allow myself to cry. Katniss is gone, Katniss is dead, and it's my fault. It's my fault because I couldn't save her. Despite everything, I still couldn't save her.

"Mr. Mellark, I thought I might find you here. Caesar Flickerman told me what happened; I won't punish him, he's proved more loyal to me than anyone else but I did give him a warning."

"What do you want from me?" I manage to croak out. "You've already taken everything, my home, the bakery, my family, and now Katniss...there's nobody left for me." I finish quietly. Now that I don't have anything or anyone to fight for, I feel lost. And it's all because of President Snow.

"Mr. Mellark, Miss Everdeen isn't dead. She just got out of surgery, and should make a full recovery."

"She's alive?" I whisper as I start to practically sob in relief. "She's really alive?" I can't seem to say anything else, is this what being in shock feels like?

"Yes, she is alive. I had, how would you put it? Oh, yes, a "change of heart." He finishes this with a wide smile on his face. Of course there's a catch, I think to myself.

"What did you do to her? Why are you smiling like that?" I ask nervously. "Did you make her forget me?" The idea is almost too terrible to think about, but it would explain his smile.

"A valuable idea, I will admit, but no. She will remember you perfectly well Mr. Mellark. The same goes for her sister and her mother. Memory restructuring often works best when sprinkled in with a bit of truth."

"Memory restructuring?" I ask, the dread rolling around in the pit of my stomach. What memories would he take? Would she even be the Katniss I know and love at the end of all that?

"Yes, that is correct Mr. Mellark. I'm glad you're able to copy what I'm saying, that will come in handy later. There was a reason that I had the bullet hit where it did, that was no accident. It hit the part of her brain that controls memory and so in order to save her life, my surgeons had to restructure some things."

"What does that even mean? Is she still Katniss or is she someone else," I whisper, unable to stop myself from letting a few tears leak out.

"Yes. And, you can even go see her if you wish. On the condition that you don't mention the games, or the rebellion, or the mockingjay, or any of that. Can you agree to that Mr. Mellark?"

"Yes...I can...I can do that. I just...I just want to see her again."

"I had a feeling you would see it that way Mr. Mellark. Now, if you'd be so kind as to follow me." He starts walking, and I follow behind him; even the possibility of being able to be with Katniss again is enough to make me agree to just about anything.

We enter into what looks like a mini hospital, before President Snow takes me down a long hallway with only a single door at the end. It has a plaque on it, and when we get closer, I can see that the plaque reads "Psychiatric Ward."

"Psychiatric Ward...why is she in there?" I whisper, a twinge of fear creeping into my voice.

"Let's just say that things didn't go exactly to plan. And...Miss Everdeen is in quite an unpredictable state. She's so wildly panicked that none of my peacekeepers will even get near her, much less any of the doctors."

I let out a small gasp. I thought she was alright, I thought that President Snow told me that she was alright. "Why would I have any luck, President Snow sir?" Hopefully if I use his title he won't see my questioning him as another excuse to hurt Katniss even more than he already has.

He nods, and doesn't seem angry at my question. Whatever this "change of heart" is, it's rather suspicious. But if it gets me back to Katniss again it at least can't be 100% bad. I think this to myself, desperately trying to find an angle on this that doesn't make me feel like a monster and a traitor.

"Can I...can I go in and see her now?" I ask quietly.

"Yes, of course. And good luck Mr. Mellark."

I walk in the door to Katniss' room, and I can almost immediately see the problem. Or, more accurately, I can hear it.

"WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE? WHERE AM I? WHAT AM I DOING HERE? WHY ARE THERE BANDAGES ON MY HEAD? WHY IS MY MEMORY FUZZY?" She's screaming so loudly and angrily that none of the doctors will even approach her. They see me come in and let out a sigh of relief, a part of me feels bad for them, but I feel even more bad for what Katniss is going through. Not even remembering what's happened...in some ways it's a blessing but in other ways it's a curse.

"Katniss, it's alright, you're safe here."

Her eyes turn to face me, and a little bit of the wild look in them seems to fade. "Where is here? What's going on? Where am I?" She's not screaming anymore, but she's still clearly in a lot of distress. A part of me wonders if she even recognizes that it's me.

"Katniss, you're safe, you're in the Capitol and I'm right here. I'm right here with you Katniss, I'm right here." I say, keeping my tone as gentle as I can.

"Peeta?" she whispers softly.

"Yeah, it's me Katniss, I'm here, and I'll stay with you."

"Always?"

"Always." I confirm.

She runs over to me and wraps her arms around me, holding me as tightly as she can. She muffles some of her sobs by leaning her head on my chest. "Just stay with me Peeta, please just stay with me. I'm scared, and I just, I need you." she says quietly.

So I hold my girl on fire, my Mockingjay, and I let her cry. She's been so brave and so strong for so long. I just want her to be happy, that's all I want right now.

After a few minutes, I decide to start talking again. "Katniss, can you let these doctors and nurses help you? They're here to help you feel better, to make sure things are less painful."

"I don't know...the needles scare me...and so do the lab coats...I feel like there's something wrong but I'm not sure what it would be."

"I promise I won't let them hurt you Katniss, can you let them help you if I stay right here with you while they do it? That way I can guarantee that nothing bad happens."

She hesitates for a minute, still thinking. "I...I guess I could. Just...one at a time...one thing at a time please..." she says, still clearly feeling uncomfortable.

I kiss her forehead. "It'll be alright, I'll make sure it will be." Now that Katniss is at least somewhat calm, the doctors start their work; one at a time, just like she asked for.