Hate #2: Robot Tech Support
“SPEAK TO A REPRESENTATIVE”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t understand that.”
“LET ME SPEAK TO A FUCKING REPRESENTATIVE OR I WILL LITERALLY MURDER SOMEONE!”
^^
Today’s hate is about the unbearable, unrelenting frustration that one must go through in the modern era whenever we need to call up a company for whatever reason. Whether it’s a problem with an order, tech support, booking a flight, rescheduling a flight, or even just because you need to call the government, it seems like every fucking company in the world has hired the same dumb robot bitch to assist us in getting connected to the "right department" despite the fact there's only one fucking guy that probably works there anyway and he handles everything.
“Please listen carefully as our options have changed.” Click click clack. “For help with an order, say, ‘Help with an order!’”
“Help with an order,” you say with a sigh.
“I’m … sorry I didn’t get that. For help with an order, say, ‘Help with an order!’ Or, hang up and call us back later!”
^^ Why in the FUCK would I want to do that? Why would I even be calling you if I wanted to call back later? Like, why did they even program miss R2Bitch2 to say that to me? Think about it for a second. Clearly I’m calling for a reason. And if this robot doesn’t understand what I’m saying, why does it assume that the problem is the fucking TIME that I am calling? Seriously, does it think things will be different if I call a few hours later? Clearly the problem is the fucking robot, not me. I know how to speak English. It’s not my fault this piece of shit recording bot doesn’t understand it.
“SPEAK TO A REPRESENTATIVE.”
“Okay, you’d like to speak to a representative. But first I’m going to need some information from you. If you understood that, say, ‘I understood that!'"
“I understood that.”
“You don’t understand? I’m sorry. Please hang up and try your call again later.”
Guys, I don’t know whose bright idea it was to make us deal with this bitch every time we have a problem these days, but to be honest, I’m sick of her. I’m really, really sick of her. I can’t place a return order anymore without having to wade through this preliminary bullshit. At least use Siri or something. Why do we have to deal with HER every time? And even when you do get through, you still have to answer more questions.
Actually, that’s another thing. Let’s say you do get connected. Then come the questions.
Those goddamn questions!
Stop interrogating me you assholes!
The worst is when I have ONE SIMPLE QUESTION and all I want is an answer and I have to play twenty questions with the guy on the other line.
“What is your eighty-seven-million digit number on the bottom of that 900-pound item that you’ll have to lift off your shelf and look at to get? Also, what’s your first name? Your last name? Your email address? Have you called Shitty Computers before? What’s your reference number? What’s your case number? Why do we exist? Why is the sky blue? Is there a God? Will Eren end up with Mikasa?
I DON’T FUCKING WANNA ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS. YOU SHOULD BE ANSWERING MINE!
It would be one thing if I could talk to this guy from the start. But no. As always, you have to go through the robo-ho that’s been purposefully designed not to understand anyone who doesn’t yell at her. Hey, now there is something the feminists SHOULD be focusing on! Let’s get rid of that bitch for encouraging violence against women. She doesn’t do what you say if you’re not screaming at her!
So anyway, you get through robo-ho and then you get the guy you’re supposed to talk to. Then there’s all the questions. And then, finally, you get to deal with the support.
Or do you! You don't, because you get disconnected. Uh oh! Time to speak to robo ho all over again and "start over." This time, you don't want to answer questions. You want to continue where you "left off." Yeah, good fucking luck with that! Nah, your unlucky ass is starting over from square one. You're going right on back to robo ho for the pre-question questioning. And don't you even THINK of speaking until she's listed off EVERY possible option as, after all, their options have changed! So listen carefully please!
Like if you think that’s bullshit.
I’m sorry. I didn’t understand that.
Like if you think that’s bullshit.
I’m sorry. I didn’t understand that. I said, “Like if you think that’s bullshit.”
You said, “Billing Inquiries. Is that correct?”
Please try your read again later. Have a nice day!
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For Parogar
RandomThis is for Parogar, for Kevin. For the hero of Wattpad. He is the one who taught me I have a chance. That I should write. this is for My Hero. I will be posting his rants from his Facebook page here as well. ALL CREDITS ARE TO PAROGAR I AM MERELY...
