𝐷𝐸𝑆𝑃𝐼𝑆𝐸 ; 𝑄𝑈𝐴𝐶𝐾𝐼𝑇𝑌

23

Sometimes you
speak before you think.

Maybe I should've
considered more on the
thinking part than the speaking
part.

Because as of right now,
this is a moment where I regret
my choice of words, but
become stupefied by the
regretfulness since this is
how it should all plan out.

This needs to happen, doesn't it?

sooner or later, he'll get shooed
out the door, no longer welcomed
in my life.

Or so I told him in the beginning.

Now this slight anger building
inside of me, because
of the thought that he
found someone new way
too soon.

Before I could even
bat an eye to another person
that captures my interests.

This whole undesirable
anger is pretty laughable at
the moment, since if I recall
correctly,

I wanted this to happen.

So tell me why instead of shoving
him out of my life with all the strength
I can muster to do so, I'm clinging
onto the hem of his shirt for him
to stay just a tad bit longer?

Was it my longing for simple company?

Was it still the same excuse to
rub it in a twitch streamer's face
who reeks with envy?

Or is it something yet to be
unknown to me? Something
that I'm in constant denial for?

Something we both
didn't expect happening from
a mile away?

A scoff is what I finally hear from the variety streamer, shoulders slightly shaking from quiet snickers. He replaces my fingers that are holding onto the beanie with his, tugging it up a little more where a fringe of jet black hair starts to fall over his eyes.

"I gave you no name! Do you have any idea who it is?"

I wish I could list a few people off the bat, but it's kind of impossible to do so when Alex always reassures his viewers that any girl he communicates with are just friends and don't dream of being anything more than that.

A facial expression that has 'I'm gonna pull your strings just for the hell of it' written all over appears on Alex, a index finger touching my chest to indicate the next words are directed towards me as if I wasn't the only other person in the room.

"What if it's you?"

It could've been a sentence he knew that would throw me completely off guard. For the sake of giggles and scoring a priceless reaction out of me, but I gave nothing for what he tried to fish out for.

Everything is blurt out nonsense.

There is no genuine feeling
behind it.