Heart, Mind, and Soul (BNHA)(ON HOLD)

Chapter Forty-Six

Izuku stared at the white wall of the hospital. Bandages were wrapped around his already healed arms and his left eye. The scars on his arms weren't drastic and the bandage on his left eye just made sure that it wouldn't get too strained.

Mushu's eyes were on him as he just kept staring at the wall. His parents were at a press conference with the principal and the chief of police while Eri was being babysat by Mirio. He appreciated them trying to make him feel better, but it has been a day and a half since Kacchan was kidnapped and Izuku...

Izuku felt like shit.

Physically, he was about ninety-five percent there. Emotionally, he felt awful. It was hard not to feel that way when he saw Kacchan get taken right before his eyes. He'd never felt like a failure up until that moment.

Being a hero... was something Izuku took a little too lightly...

Ever since he had to come out from behind the scenes to rescue Eri from Overhaul, Izuku found it very difficult to keep calm and in control of his emotions. All of a sudden, every meditation and every talk of inner peace would just leave him and overwhelming amounts of frustration and anger would consume him. He felt so ashamed and weak.

"Ho... How's Kouta...?" he asked the dragon but kept his eyes trained on the wall. He heard Mushu let out a deep exhale in front of him.

"Yeah, the brat's fine." Mushu replied but all Izuku could do was offer a nod, "Look, kid... You know you can talk to me, right? You know it's much healthier on your mind to just let things out instead of being a sourpuss about it."

Izuku thought about it and realized that Mushu was right. He had always talked his feelings out with Mushu before and he'd feel much better afterwards once the weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Nothing was really stopping him now either, it was just that he felt very shameful and was scared to hear Mushu's disappointment in him.

But what good would it do if he just kept wallowing in self-pity and negativity...?

"I got angry." he finally let out after a few minutes of silence, "I got angry, frustrated, desperate... it was all just a load of really bad emotions that consumed me to the point I was blinded by them and ended up being so badly hurt that I wasted my power... Power that could've been put into saving Kacchan...

"I never had trouble staying calm until I was thrown into the frontlines. Chisaki, the League... it all got too much and I was so adamant on pushing forward and saving people that their taunts would get to me. The rage would bubble over and I no longer had control... I would try to keep a level head, force myself to dive into the calm waters of my mind. But it felt like the more I forced it, the harder for me to actually cool down..."

He hadn't noticed he was crying until his companion wiped at his right cheek with a tissue, "I felt so disappointed with myself. I felt like... like... like a failure, Mu. I felt like every training session, meditation, and thing you taught me was just lost all of a sudden. I-It's all my fa-fault... because of me, Kacchan might be-be hu-urt..."

He let the dragon wrap his short, thin arms around his shoulders and Izuku squeezed tight as everything that happened just came as a slap to his face. He cried his frustrations out and his anguish at losing the battle between him and his emotions. Losing the battle between him and the villains for taking Kacchan...

He cried for his loss...

"You said you tried?" Mushu asked for clarification.

Izuku sniffled, "Not hard enough..."

"But you tried, right?" Mushu emphasized and Izuku felt himself nod honestly, "But clearly I haven't been the best teacher either."

Izuku snapped his head towards the dragon so fast, he might have tore a ligament, "Mushu, what are you saying?! You and Nezu-sensei are literally the best teachers ever. Godly duo! Rat god and Dragon god!" he said with the most serious face he could.