Alone

Left Behind

Aleena's POV

I dont even make breakfast. I'm done with making breakfast. Im done with everything. Im done with this marriage. I sit at the table, just thinking. The dark bags under my eyes are a result of not sleeping. Just thinking.

He betrayed my trust. He told me he wouldnt drink. He said he wanted to change. He said...I cant even think about it any longer. I wont think about it. Its too much.

I hear a creak coming from the stairs and I snap my head up to look. A dark figure walks downstairs. I look back down to my hands, wishing I had made breakfast, just so I could show him I dont care. But I do.

He pulls up the chair, scratching the wooden legs against the damaged floor. I investigate the scratches on the table, obviously from glass and metal last night.

"Aleena I am so sorry, I dont know what came over me, I'm so sorry please believe me."

"You betrayed my trust Zaryab. We had a talk, I believed you had changed."

"Please Aleena. Please, Im so so sorry."

"NO ZARYAB!" I snap my head up and stand towering over him. My hands slap against the table and then my fingers curl up.

His face changes from sadness to fear in an instant. My resolve melts instantly and I sit down, staring at the table once again. Even though I am seething with anger, he is my husband. I know what I must do, what will be fair for both of us. He can't be my husband anymore.

"Aleena please, I have a problem I know but I will stop it, just please," his voice breaks, "stay with me. Dont leave."

I almost want to believe this madman.

"Dont be at the house between 3:00 and 6:00 tomorrow so I can collect my things." I spit harshly and get up to leave. I dont know what I will do but I need to get out of this non-trusting marriage.

I used to love him. But love for me, is trust. He has betrayed my love, my trust.

I didnt believe I could love him but I did, and now he has wrenched out my heart and broken it with the glass from a stupid beer bottle. I cant believe I ever loved the useless man lying inside that house.

Fine I still love him. I still love him more than anything so it pains me to do this. I can't fix this. Not even I can pick up the pieces of our marriage and put them together again.

I drive away not looking back. I drive around doing absolutely nothing for the rest of the day, driving into town, shopping and then when its evident I have nowhere to go I decide to retire for the night. I drive to a hotel I know will be open.

Walking inside the lobby is spectacular but I am not here to see the sights, I just need a place to sleep for night. I book a room for the week and go upstairs to my room. I leave the light off so that I can jump into my bed. I dont need to see the amazing room, I just want to get the events off of me.

*****

I get up immediately and throw up the contents of my lunch yesterday. Morning sickness. Again. I better not be pregnant! I laugh. My laughter rings through the bathroom and then it trails off. Oh Allah I better not be pregnant!!! Feeling another wave come on I throw up again into the toilet.

After what feels like an eternity of emptying my stomach I run to the nearest department store picking up the nearest pregnancy test. Please, please, please, say I'm not pregnant.

Running back to the hotel I do my business and wait for the stick to decide my fate. Before the minute is up I throw it in the trash. I cant handle this right now, I just need a normal day without worrying about consequences and Zaryab. I did some shopping yesterday so I pull of the tags of some clothes and dress in those for the day.

Walking outside I decide to go out in the town. Not thinking about consequences, just...living. I didnt do anything illegal I swear. My phone rings suddenly and I go to answer it but seeing the caller is Zaryab I ignore it. It's 2:30, I have to get my stuff...