Try (Austin Mahone Short Love Story / Fan Fiction)

Chapter Seven

A/N: I JUST GET SO EMOTIONAL OH GOD. Okay. Sorry. Enjoy.

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Song of the chapter:
Vesper's Goodbye by Nick Jonas & The Administration

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     I pulled into the driveway and climbed out of my car without hesitation, looking around nervously. Not a single car was in the driveway, not a single person. Nothing.

     Even though it was obvious no one was there, I ran to the front door and tried to open it, but it was locked. The cold air stung my face but I ignored it, careless to the fact that I would probably catch a cold. I pounded my fist on the door, my heart falling to the floor.

     "Mary? Mary, it's me!" I shouted, though I knew in the back of my head that no one could hear. I was in a state of denial. I wouldn't let myself believe she was gone. "Mary, come on! Please open up!"

     No answer.

     I looked to my left and right, my eye catching an older woman retrieving her mail. She was looking at me, seeing that I was having problems. I ran over to her, but she broke her eyes from me, turned on her heels, and started to walk back into her house that was just next door.

     "Hey, wait a second!" I called as I jogged after her. She didn't stop. "Please, I just need your help for one second!" Again, she didn't stop. I slowed down, my voice turning soft and shaky. "Please, help me."

     She finally stopped walking after intentionally ignoring me, then slowly turned around when she realized I wasn't trying to cause any trouble. Her dark, sunken in eyes met mine and turned sympathetic when she saw how defeated I physically was.

     If only she could see how I look on the inside, I thought. I feel a million times worse than I look.

     "Do you know if they--" I paused, my stomach flipping and my throat closing. She just watched me, feeling sorry for me, most likely. "did they leave?"

     "You mean the Kayden kids?" she asked, directing her attention to the house behind me. Her voice was soft and weak, kind of like Mrs. Cole's. I nodded. "I'm sorry, they left about an hour ago for Canada."

     After she spoke, a ringing sound developed in my ears. My head started pounding, my joints locking. I stood as still as ever, replaying her words in my mind over and over. There was no stopping them because it was all real. Mary was gone.

     The woman began saying something else, but I couldn't hear her. I slowly backed away, shaking my head subtly in denial.

     Denial.

     Denial.

     Denial.

     She can't be gone, I thought. She just can't be. I love her and she loves me. She even said that! She can't be gone!

     My back hit the side of my car and I stopped. I slowly turned around and hit the side of my fist against the roof of it, running my fingers through my hair in aggravation. I threw open my car door, got inside, and slammed it shut, slapping my hands down on the wheel and clutching it angrily. I rested my forehead in the palm of my hand, my eyes stinging. My breathing was heavy and my heart thudded in my chest due to the amount of hurt racing through my body. I couldn't stop thinking of the two words circling my head, refusing to leave.

     She's gone.

* * *

     The days that followed were slow and uneventful. My mom knew that Mary was gone because when she saw me come back home that day, I was a wreck. I was so unstable to the point where she wanted to call for help. I wouldn't let her. Instead, I told her everything, knowing she was the only person I would ever be able to talk about it with.

     I'd tried calling Mary multiple times, but I would always get sent to voice mail. It hurt because she knew it was me calling. She would intentionally ignore all of my calls.

     At school, I even asked Holly (who I only talked to once) if Mary was answering her calls or texts. She said she was. If that didn't feel like a knife to the back, I don't know what did.

     It was weird. A girl I'd known for a matter of a month-- maybe a little more-- had me completely shut down. I had barely spoken since she left. There was too much on my mind to actually get anything out. I had no closure at all, and that ruined me.

     Football came to an end shortly after Mary's departure. I usually would have cared about the fact that I wouldn't have anything to do anymore, but I didn't because I considered it a good thing. Coming home after school gave me time to think about Mary. And that was all I really could do. We didn't have any pictures together, she didn't care for social networking sites, and she didn't leave me with anything except for memories. All I could do was use the moments we had together to remember. And as much as I wanted to say I could never forget, I had to face it. Memories fade.

     Since I had been acting so off, all of my friends began treating me differently. I could barely hold a conversation with anyone. To an extent, it worried me, but I was too vacant to care at the time. Truthfully, I couldn't find the motive to care about anything. All of the things I used to care about meant nothing, and as much as I tried to stop myself from being that way, I couldn't.

     The girl I loved left me, refused to talk to me, ignored me, and didn't even attempt to make any type of contact. Even a nice "hello" through Holly would have satisfied me, but I received nothing. Saying that it hurt didn't compare to what I felt. I was devastated, alone, confused, lost, broken, and most importantly, without Mary, I felt incomplete. Each day she was gone, I lost more and more of myself, but I didn't care to be normal again because there was no point.

    For the following weeks, I had lay in my room and slept. I thought about things too, but I would sleep again after. Maybe I'd watch a movie, but then I'd think about Mary, then I'd fall asleep. I was just so tired all the time. 

    "Honey?" my mom called softly, opening my bedroom door. I was laying on my bed (no surprise) and staring out the window, just thinking. I wondered what Mary was doing. I wondered if she was happy in Canada, if she liked her new home, if she made friends, and soon my mind began thinking about her love life. If she was in love with someone else or if someone else loved her.
 
     They'd never love her as much as I do, I thought. No one could.

     My mom was growing more and more concerned with my behavior everyday. I'd overheard her on the phone with someone asking if it was normal that I was acting the way I was. It didn't bother me because I was aware of the fact that it wasn't completely typical for someone to have that type of reaction to someone that left them at such a young age. But I couldn't help it.

     I didn't move, I just stayed still, looking out at the partially snowy ground. It was December and we had received about a foot of snow already. More would be coming, but I didn't know when. That just made me more dreary and unmotivated. Weather has a massive impact on people's emotions.

     Mary had been gone almost a month and instead of "getting over her" like everyone wanted, I missed her more and more everyday. I couldn't get her out of my head no matter what I did.

     "Austin, I'm worried about you," she declared sympathetically. Again, I didn't move, but I listened. "You haven't been yourself at all. And I know it's because of Mary, but--"

     "Don't say her name," I interrupted, hating the fact that she was brought into my mind heavier. I didn't mean to snap at my mom; it would just happen. Especially when she would talk about Mary. I hated it.

     It was silent for a minute due to the fact that she was probably taken back. I was never one to be disrespectful to my mom, but things changed.

     "Maybe you should get out of the house for a little while," she suggested. She was doing it with my best interest at heart, but I couldn't even consider leaving the house unless it was for school. "Why don't you go call Robert or Tyler and do something with them?"

     Robert and Tyler were two of my best friends, which they had been since I was little. Though I had other friends, I was closest with the two of them.

     I shook my head. "No thanks."

     "Austin, please," she begged, her words laced with sorrow. I bit the inside of my cheek, my heart falling with her words. It sucked to know what I was doing to my mom. I never wanted to hurt her on purpose. It wasn't supposed to happen that way. "You know, maybe you'll meet someone else and--"

    "No, mom!" I growled. "I can't just 'meet someone else.' Don't you get it? I'll never, ever find someone like her ever again. But you expect me to just go on like I never knew the girl and carry on but I can't. I don't know why I can't, but I just can't do it."

     "But I--"

     "It's not even like I can fix things either because she won't even talk to me! I've tried everything, Mom," my voice quieted, but it went back up again. "I just don't know what to do anymore!"

     I shot out of bed, slid my shoes on, grabbed my keys off the side table, and headed for the door.

     "Where are you going?" she asked, her gentle voice shaking, indicating her tears' arrival.

     I moved down the hall and down the stairs, not caring a single ounce that I had done that to my own mom. I threw open the front door and closed it just as hard, anger coursing through my veins. I was mad at my mom, Mary, my situation, and most importantly, myself. I was letting Mary affect my entire life to a point where it was affecting everyone around me, but like I said, I didn't notice it at all.

     Getting into my car, I drove to a place that made me remember Mary. It was becoming harder and harder to remember what she was like, and that scared me. I didn't want to forget her. I wouldn't let myself.

* * *

     I sat at the table in the restaurant that had become so familiar to me. But the familiar face that I loved so much wasn't staring back at me anymore. The seat was empty, only increasing the empty feeling I carried inside. I held the cup of coffee in my hands, staring out the window next to me. I observed the people who walked by, taking note to how happy they all were. Not all of them were smiling, but the ones who weren't still looked content. Maybe they weren't happy at all. Maybe they just hid it, kind of like how Mary did. Maybe deep down, they were truly hurting inside but they were too strong to show it. Just like Mary.

    What's gotten into you? a voice in my head sneered. Why won't you let the girl go? She's not coming back. She's never coming back. It's over.

     I tapped my fingertips on the tabletop, hating that I came to that realization. Though it was for the better, it still hurt. Letting her go was the hardest thing I'd ever have to do and that was clear. All of the days I'd gone without her became more and more difficult to get through. I almost couldn't do it.

     "Can I get you anything else?" the familiar voice asked from beside me. I looked up at the girl about my age, maybe older, who had taken my order, her short brown hair ending above her shoulders and her smile genuine. I shook my head, content with just a coffee.

     My eyes went back to the window, remembering how focused Mary was on it each time we were there. Everything was always studied to its very end. It was one of the many things I loved about her.

      "You look like someone," she declared knowingly.

     I didn't say anything because I thought maybe if I didn't answer, she would get the idea that I just wanted to be alone.

    "Aren't you that kid in the paper all the time?" the waitress asked curiously. I turned to her, wondering why she was still by me. Obviously I wasn't up for talking. "You know, for football?"

     I narrowed my eyes at her and then nodded finally. I knew I'd seen her around before, but I didn't know her name.

     "You'd think with a reputation like yours, you would be out with all of your friends," she laughed, which ended with a subtle squeak. I just shook my head and looked down at the table, wishing the conversation would come to an end. I didn't want to talk. Not to anyone.

     To my surprise, she sat down in Mary's old seat, my stomach tying in a knot from it. It didn't feel right that she was sitting there. I finally looked over at her, seeing she had similar eyes to Mary. They were dark and hard, but somehow warm and inviting at the same time. I knew I'd seen her before, but I couldn't figure out where.

     "I know who you are! You were friends with my cousin, did you know that?" she noted, causing me to sigh heavily. I was growing tired of her questions and it was obvious that she wasn't comprehending that. "I don't know if you remember her or not, you probably do, but I don't know how good your memory is."

     Man, she talks a lot, I thought.

     "Mary? Mary Kayden? Do you know her?" she asked. My attention was immediately on the girl one hundred percent. My heart raced and my palms sweated. She was Mary's cousin. "Yeah, she's my cousin. I haven't seen her since she moved, but we talk everyday. I--"

      "How is she doing?" I asked eagerly. "Is she okay?"

     She shrugged and squinted her eyes. "She started off not so good. She never said why, but my aunt said she wouldn't even talk. She would stay up in her room for hours on end. I didn't want to ask her because I didn't want to invade her privacy, you know? Anyways, I hear she's getting better. She sounds better, at least."

      I stayed still, trying to obtain every word she said. Each word brought me closer to Mary. It was as close as I had been in a long time.

     It remained silent as I ran her words in my mind over and over. The next thing I remember is hearing someone yell the name "Grace," and the girl across from me springing up from the table.

     "Good talking to you," she said, beginning to walk away.

     "Wait!" I called, going after her and stopping her. She looked at me with a perplexed expression, probably wondering why I had such a sudden change in attitude. "Has she ever mentioned anybody named Austin? Ever?"

     Her eyes immediately drooped, her mouth forming into a frown. She slowly shook her head, my entire body shutting down within the moment. "No, I'm sorry. She hasn't."

     That was all it took for me to completely lose it. Just when I thought I was at my lowest, I officially hit rock bottom.

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A/N: CRYCRYCRYCRYCRY UGH. COMMENT & VOTE.

I FOUND A SUPER AMAZING FANFIC THAT MADE ME CRY SO HARD BY JUST READING THE SUMMARY OKAY. It's called "Deep Down" and it's by one of my good friends, @StayyBeautiful . Her works are absolutely AMAZING and I know for a fact this story is going to be just that. GO CHECK IT OUT!