A year, two, three ago,
I fell in love with the smell of blood,
The sight of pain,
The sound of screaming and crying for help,
I fell in love with death, something,
Something red, loud,
It was always there for me,
Always looking after me.
Four, five, six years ago,
I didn't know you existed, I didn't.
I smiled without having to hide,
I ate without worrying about getting fat,
I looked in the mirror and went,
"wow... I look good!".
Seven, eight, nine years ago,
I had fun,
I laughed and smiled,
I argued with you without the fear of loosing you,
I didn't have to worry about anything,
I only had to draw my mom a flower,
For mother's day I picked up the flowers,
With a smile on my face I gave it to you,
I still thought you were someone,
Who would make my life better.
Now, as I'm writing this letter,
I'm looking at myself in the mirror,
I'm trying to smile at the sight,
But I can't.
A short, thin, pale,
A shell of a young boy,
Who lost his battle too soon.
How could I smile at that?
My hair hasn't been washed for weeks,
My skin is covered with drawings,
The dull eyes are piercing through me,
Burning holes in me.
As I'm writing this,
My hands are shaking,
I just have to swallow,
And it will all be gone,
But, is that all I'm gonna see?
I've been here,
On this spot,
Multyple times,
Looking worse and worse every time,
But what made me stay,
What made me suffer longer?
A year, two, three ago,
I fell in love with death,
I fell in love with something unsightly,
Someone who people are afraid of,
But am I afraid?
The bath is full now,
It's almost my time to go,
My favorite lavander candle is here,
The water is warm and rose scented,
Translucent,
But it's not gonna stay that way for long,
Soon,
May the red rivers flow,
May the sea become red,
May the red rivers flow down my wrists
In the once glassy sea,
The sea,
The rivers are flowing down,
It started raining.
My vision is getting blurry,
My bath is red,
My candle is burned out,
My letter is in my hand.
After all the years,
I'm finally going,
Home.
