I finished my chapstick without loosing it,
I pet my cat more than a hundred times,
I finally got an A from history,
I made my bed in the morning,
Brushed my teeth,
Even joked with my friends.
Are those all
The fun things in life?
Is that all I want to achieve?
I rewatched my favorite anime,
I remembered my first friend's name,
I forgot the times you threatened me,
I forgot and remembered.
My smile became forced,
My sleeves became long and dirty,
My skin became a canvas,
But you still didn't notice,
You didn't notice how I felt.
I became rude, shameless, a slut,
I became a whore, a piece of trash,
I became lazy,
Worthless,
Nothing.
That's what you noticed,
You thought I was just rude,
Just lazy.
I hid my wrists,
I hid my drawings, the white lines,
They were meant to stay hidden.
But have you noticed,
My eyes became dull and empty,
My voice became deeper,
I became secretive,
I became a different child you used to have.
I even wrote a suicide letter,
In January,
When I was only twelve,
Not even a teen, a child,
I was a child,
Who didn't think they'd make it past March.
Dull eyes and hidden drawings,
Dull and hidden,
My drawings became deeper,
My eyes became gray,
Have you noticed?
I finished my chapstick without loosing it,
I pet my cat more than a hundred times,
I finally got an A from history,
I made my bed in the morning,
Brushed my teeth,
Even joked with my friends.
I rewatched my favorite anime,
I remembered my first friend's name,
I forgot the times you threatened me,
I forgot and remembered.
I found my favorite bands,
I listened to all my favorite songs,
I learnt their lyrics and sung them,
I broke my window and blamed it on ghosts,
I got an F on my test,
I watched all Harry Potter movies again,
I cried at their deaths, at their wounds.
Those are all
The fun things in my life,
And I checked every one of them,
The list is completely done,
Filled and stained with tears,
And blood.
I finally found peace, I finally found peace,
The wind caressed my face as I flew,
I flew and swam in concrete,
In my own blood.
...
