The Peach-Pounding Peters of Peterson Hall, #1

Chapter 8: Meeting a Model while Looking for Lincoln

By Wednesday—it was only the second week of the semester after an intense first one that felt longer—I was worried about Lincoln. I hadn't returned to my old dorm room except to pack what little stuff I had, and he hadn't been around at the time. What was going on with him? He was still a Peter, yet Buff hadn't bothered requiring that he visit us when he normally would. I hadn't seen or heard from Lincoln again. I'd tried stopping by my old dorm room several times, but he was never around. He'd even ignored my texts and calls. Was he really that upset with me? I understood being upset over the initiation ritual, even Buff, but me?

After leaving class and shivering my way through campus with my jacket and backpack on, Leah called me from behind. I reluctantly turned around and slapped on a fake smile. How had it come to this? Me avoiding her? Me finding her company tedious? Despite the fact that I'd never been in love with her—I realized that now—I used to enjoy her company, but I'd still needed my own space, hence my move to Port Pelle. But now, I didn't even want to see her again. After days and days of fucking around with guys, my feelings for her had reduced even more. I felt stuck with her, and I hated it. I didn't want to break her heart, but I'd already hurt her by cheating many times. She deserved better than a piece-of-shit boyfriend like me. Could I ever be boyfriend material?

Maybe not.

Leah's blonde ponytail flapped against her backpack as she rushed toward me for a warm hug, giving me a longing expression. "I've missed you. Ever since we started college, we rarely see each other." We didn't see each other every single day, but we did text daily and called each other every other day.

I let go and shrugged. "Just been a busy semester." That much was true. And what a chilly day today, as cold as my mood could easily be. I had to control myself because it wasn't Leah's fault. I was just moody now.

She frowned. "It's ironic that I chose to come here to get to spend more time with you, only for us to spend even less time together than before."

Fuck, I hated this feeling. The guilt started coming back in full force because of how much of a cheating jerk I really was. I'd never cheated until recently. Why couldn't I have just ignored Lincoln? He'd seduced me, and I'd fought the temptation; he'd seduced me some more, and I'd given into the temptation. It had all gone downhill from there. Well, maybe some good things had come out of it.

Twunky. And what an irresistible boy band butt I'd been sniffing and eating every single night in secret, as well as making out. I'd taken him out to eat during the day, also in secret. I refused to let him starve. Buff could go fuck himself with that toxic bullshit.

"I know, Leah, I get it. But things change, you know?"

She gave me a nod, still frowning. Her sad mood made me want to find a good guy for her. I wanted her to move on from me. If only I could stop being a coward and just end it to avoid any more pain. I couldn't risk telling her the actual truth because she could tell my family. But what excuse could I give her? If I told her I didn't love her, I'd come across as playing mind games with her. Was I? I wasn't trying to at all. The other girls I'd dated before her had been the ones to end it first, and it'd been mutual, so there hadn't been any issues. Not with Leah.

Ugh, I sucked at this relationship thing.

She checked her phone and sighed. "I should be going. Like you, I have a study group, and I have to prepare a few things. I guess that's another reason we're busy." She gave me a longing kiss on the lips that made me feel worse, and she managed a weak smile. "Text me later. Love you."

"Love you too." Those empty, obligatory words.

Leah walked farther ahead, and I waited until she was long gone before continuing my way back to the Peters' suit. But not before trying Lincoln once more. I'd last checked right after my classes yesterday.