Smile...Tell Me Your Secret

Chapter 6

A promise is a promise so here you are on time on saturday. but I know this chapter isn't my best. I might rewrite it. Enjoy nonetheless. and tell me what you think.

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Ms. Rivers my math teacher spent the majority of the class going over the homework, while I spent it thinking about what just happened. Why did Lisa hate me so much? She didn’t even try to lower her voice. It was clear as day. And obvious that she was talking about me. And Shelley going to retaliate just made it seem more real. Like I was hiding something. But I’m not everyone already knows thanks to Dom. No that’s not true Elli didn’t know. Yet. Pretty soon the bell rang, I was jostled out of my thoughts. I stand up later then the other students. 

“Tara, could you come here for a minute?” some of my classmates looked back, even though I don’t talk to any of them, and none share my name. 

“sure.” I grab my bag slinging it on my shoulder as I walk to her desk.

“Are you okay? It’s not like you to space out the whole period.” she noticed. Great there goes my citizenship. 

“I’m sorry it won’t happen again.”

“ok but are you okay.”

“yeah, just didn’t get enough sleep.” 

“alright.” she dragged out the word like she didn’t believe me. 

“I’m fine really.”

“okay you better get to class.” I leave, and let out a huge sigh. I shouldn’t let this effect me. It meant nothing what Lisa said. It’s just what girls say now when they don’t know how else to insult someone. Not that that’s okay, because it’s wrong on so many levels that being a gay is an insult. Now isn’t the time to worry because as of now I’m officially late to Law since the tardy bell rang. I still have to go to my locker. I walk to my locker and get to the class room two minutes later. 

The door was closed, which means I have no way to sneak into my seat. I’m sure the gaping hole in the center of the room was an indicator already but the jingling door handle defiantly drew attention to my absent to the small class. Mr. Lavender opened the door a smirk on his lips. God. He just loves to pick on his students.

“Miss Macintosh nice of you to join us. Got caught up in the sea of students out in the hallway.” He opened the door wider to show the class that no one was in the halls except me.

“oh yes sir, it almost got to the point where crowd surfing was going to be the only way to get around.” Mr. L was one of the only teachers I could just be myself around. I walk in the class room he closes the door.

“Did you manage to think of a topic while traversing the halls?” He always liked to put students on the spot like he got a little twist of pleasure to catch one off guard. He should know better with me.

“Yep.” I say and go to my seat. “Jacobillis Vs Ohio.” He raises his eyebrow at this, but doesn’t say anything. He walks to the front of the room.

“Like I was saying before we had a student drop out of the class so now we have an odd number of students so I will be taking over their case. But I won’t be revealing who goes against who until the day before the trail.” I groaned with the rest of the class. Mr. L showed us early that going up against him was…not to be desired. He used to be an actual lawyer so he knows his stuff, but he dropped out because life got in his way. That’s what he told me anyway. He started today’s lecture. Class ended in laughter as always and I was feeling better about myself.

That is until lunch. I enter the cafeteria to find the previous people still in there, not that big of a surprise, but then I saw Theo talking intently with Elli. I made eye contact with him and he stops talking. She follows his eyes and meets mine. She smiles, and waves calling me over. I couldn’t help the reflexive smile when I heard her call my name. I even look over there but I see Theo frowning and I turn to leave. He has to know by now, even if he thought Lisa was kidding. He has to know he had to ask someone. And he probably told Elli I mean why else would he have stopped when he saw me. I go into the girls bathroom. There was a line. I didn’t have to go, I just wanted to be alone. I leave, and head to Mr. L’s room he had prep now his room should be free. It was.

I take a seat on basically a window seat. It’s the counter top of the shelves and has a big window facing the courtyard. I pull my legs into myself, resting my chin on my knees and think. Maybe I am ashamed of being gay. No that’s not it, that’s never it. It’s that I’m scared, scared that she won’t accept me. And that’s the reason I didn’t tell anyone. Two years ago only five people knew; mom, dad, Shelley, Dom, and Mr. L. Now Theo, and probably Elli get added to that list of hundreds. And there goes my chance at a fresh start. I wouldn’t mind them knowing if I knew how they’d react. I guess I could handle it if they did what the majority of who knows do; ignore it by it I mean me. If they became ignorant to me I think I can handle it. After all it’s not the worst they could do. Why did she have to do this? Why did Lisa say that? I was finally getting over what Dom did. Okay, maybe not completely but I was definitely closer to closure then now. Why is Lisa such a bitch?

“self esteem issues?” I jump I hadn’t realized I said it out loud or that someone entered the room. I look up to see Mr. Lavender leaning against his desk arms crossed. “I thought I locked the door.” I move my legs so they’re dangling off the edge and stretch. I had sat there for a good ten minutes. I start towards the door.

“You never do.” Before I exit I turn and say “Mr. L?”

“yeah?” he looks over.

“those colors aren’t supposed to go together.”

“I think the female population in this school would disagree.” a smug smirk on his lips.

“yeah it’s because of your mad style that every girl is attracted to you.” sarcasm drenched every word. Every straight girl that had Mr. L for so much as a study hall developed a crush. But he’s clothes SHOULDN’T match. They shouldn’t lookd good together but he makes it work. And since I was one of the only non straight girls in this school it was my duty to remind him.

“finally she admits it.”

“sarcasm every hear of it.”

“nooooooo, I haven’t” I roll my eyes and go back to leaving.

“Hey Macintosh.” I turn back annoyed. “here.” he tosses me an apple which I almost drop in my surprise. And that was his thing he swore since my last name was Macintosh I must love apples. I hate apples.

“No thanks” I toss it back to him “but thanks.” I say a little more seriously I know he was just trying to cheer me up. I leave going back to the cafeteria.

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I was debating of putting a picture of who Mr. Lavender is(because he's an actual person just not named Lavender) but I'll have to discuss it with my one friend first. anyway i'm tired so i'm going to bed. i have a lot of work to do tomorrow. but I must continue to thank all of you who continue to read this story.

oh and who should she meet in the cafeteria...Shelley, Theo, Elli, Dom, or Lisa. leave a comment. thanks. =)