𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐤𝐞𝐭

𓂺

𝐅𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐧𓁹ᴥ︎︎︎𓁹

𝐌𝐚𝐲 17𝐭𝐡, 2019
𓂸𓂸𓂸𓂸𓂸𓂸𓂸𓂸𓂸𓂸𓂸𓂸𓂸𓂸𓂸𓂸𓂸

"

Momma, leave her alone she sleep." I said, for the 10th time today. Fathan finally went to school but I had to get Pharaoh to talk him into going. I was typing up my paper since I chose to switch all my classes to online so I could take care of Sagira.

Momma had came over about 2 hours ago and Sagira had fell asleep not even 30 minutes ago. I feel like I'm repeating myself when I be talkin to my momma. "I got her some clothes though, she needa try em on." She said, touching Sagira for the 15th time causing her to wiggle around a bit.

"She can try the shit on when she wakes up. Don't wake her up, she just went to sleep." I responded, squinting my eyes at my screen, rereading my paragraph before checking all my pages and submitting it.

"She been sleep all day, she needa wake up anyway." Faira said, picking Sagira up as I just stared at her. She finna fuckin cry and right on cue she busted out crying. I ran my hand down my face before walking to the couch and snatching her out my mommas hand.

"Shes a fuckin baby, stop doin that shit. If she sleep, let her sleep. You don't understand that when she sleep thats the only peace and fuckin quiet I get to do my schoolwork. You don't even live here to know that she cries all night long to where ion get sleep at all and if I do I only get 20 minutes." I said, frowning and rocking Sagira while she cried even louder.

I rubbed her back and walked back to the kitchen and sat at the bar with her in my lap. "All you need to do is just let her cry like you alwa- Always what? Cause I know you not finna say that I always let her cry knowing that shit aint true." I interrupted her, sticking Sagiras pacifier in her mouth.

She quieted down and laid on my chest, balling her fist up in my shirt. "If taking care of a kid is that hard to you then you should've never gotten pregnant anyway. You won't even let the daddy see her." She said as Fathan came in through the front door and looked at us.

"You actin very fuckin retarded right na, ma. How you believe a nigga who you don't even know tha- I do know him, he's an angel and he wants to see his child but you won't even let him!" She said, raising her voice and standing up.

I covered Sagiras ears with my hands since she still kinda sensitive to sound and ion need her goin deaf. "You do know that the nigga left when I told him? You really think that that nigga a angel? You sound so fuckin slow right na, probably why you gave birth to two kids of a whole ass heroin addict. You stupid as fuck." I responded, scrunching my face up and seeing Fathan make his way to me.

"We gon be back." He muttered, holding his phone between his head and shoulders as he lifted Sagira off my lap and walked back out the door.

"You really calling your own mother stupid?" She said, walking over to me as I stood up.

"Thats what you are though. You know what the fuck was going on in my relationship since you always wanna know everything but you steady choosing his side and telling me it was wrong to cut him off like that. Faira, he ain't wanna be there wit me. That's what I'm trying to tell you, he didn't want to have nothing to do with my daughter so I let him be." I said, seeing her look offended.

"He told me you tried putting him on child support because you didn't like him. If you never got pregnant in the first place, then you wouldn't have to worry about not having enough money." She blabbered on as I just stared at her.

"Why would I put a broke ass nigga who can't even buy me a fry off the dollar menu at McDonald's on child support? And it was my choice to have Sagira, I have more than enough money to take care of myself, her, and Fathan. I had her because the doctor been told me that I don't have enough eggs to get pregnant a second time no matter how hard I tried to. So now I'm basically infertile, I had her for a reason." She gave me a face like she didn't believe me.

"Yea, you probably selling yourself trying to get the money to pay for everything. Is that even his child you gave birth to?" She responded, crossing her arms up.

"Why would you even think im selling myself? What the fuck made you think that shit and why the fuck is you worried of thats his child or not. I know who I fucked and who I didn't fuck." I said walking to the door as she followed me.

"Look what you wearing, you probably is selling yourself. Yo attitude became more harder to deal with also." See, now she confusing me.

"What am I wearing that makes you think I sell myself? And if you didn't come over to my house thinking you pay the fuckin bills I wouldn't have an attitude right now. I also wouldn't have an attitude if you would've let my child alone." I said, opening the door and shoving her out.

"You wearing shit that a hoe would we- What? Some fuckin biker shorts and a fuckin spaghetti strap? Bitch, I'm in my own mothafuckin house! What the fuck makes you think that I'm finna dress the fuck up just to walk around my house and not do shit?" I cut her off, not realizing I called her outta her name on accident.

"Look, you calling me out my name. Why did I give birth to someone so disrespectful, you and your brother got the same attitude. Its disgusting." She said, looking at me in disgust as I closed the door to my house, walking outside.

"You wasn't even there to take care of us when we were younger, yea we're going to have a fucked up ass attitude. Where the fuck was you when we needed you the most, huh? Oh yea that right, you was out either hoeing around and gettin drunk or you left the house with your friends since you had me at a young age with a nigga who really aint want you." I said.

"Then you was mad at me for almost 3 months because I had gotten pregnant at the age of 22. Bitch, you gave birth to me when you were fuckin 16, don't fuckin act like I gave birth at an age younger than you. I didn't give birth at 16, you did." I continued as she kept quiet.

"I didn't grow up getting taught how to do shit I'm supposed to be doin. I grew up with you and had to teach myself how to do shit just cause you wouldn't teach me anything. Even my drug addicted ass daddy did something for both me and my brother and that was put us into school cause he said he wants us to do better than him. He paid for that shit with the money he barely even had." My eyes started watering, remembering that he was the only one who really tried to show me some affection so I wouldn't grow up to be like him.

"I never really liked you and I would really like it if you leave. Don't call my phone for shit, don't come to my house for shit, and if you see me out somewhere don't come up and speak to me. I'll let you know when I'm ready to talk to you." I mumbled, wiping my face and pulling my shorts down as I opened her car door and pushed her inside.

"You the worse son I've ever had. Talking to the person who gave birth to you like that, especially calling me a bitch. I really should've never given birth to you. I should've gave birth to a daughter and not a son." She said slapping my hand away, closing her door and starting the car.

I watched as she pulled out the driveway and drove away. I bit my lip before heading back inside and laying on the couch, curling up into a ball. I think I basically cried myself to sleep.