[Childe Harassment] Chongyun x Reader CRACK

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bro deadass i was trying to write fluff but it turned into crack so here you go

im pretty sure its gn


Looking to your left and right, you notice how annoyed everyone looks. To the way they're sitting, eating, talking. It was just tense. Why? Well, you, Xiangling and Childe had the bright idea of bringing everyone in Liyue together for a huge feast. Sadly, it didn't go as planned. Most of everyone's grumpiness came from them not liking one or more of the people attending. Especially Xiao. He really didn't want to be there, but with a bit of persuading and childish acts from you and Childe, you got him to join.

You heard a sigh come from your left and looked over to see Chongyun twiddling with his food.

"Is something wrong Yunnie?"

"I told you not to call me that Y/n" He landed a flick to your forehead, "And yes, some idiot put Jueyun Chili in my food again" He shot Xiangling a deathly glare causing her to shiver in fear and look down.

"I'm sure you'll be fine Yunnie" You spoke, shooting him a happy smile before getting a smack behind your head.

He took some of the Jueyun Chili and brought it up to his lips, "If anything happens Xiangling I'm blaming it on you"

Xiangling just sweated before scooting away and her chair inch by inch.

Chongyuns eyes widen, his mouth agape, face turning red, hands twitching, his clamor appearing in hand.

Everyone looks up once they hear a loud screech seeing Chongyun standing on the turkey that had yet to be eaten.

"Man, I was gonna eat that" Scaramouche said before Chongyun sent 2 cold waves of ice his way causing the poor boy from a poor family to freeze up.

Chongyun then jumped down from the table and lifted his clamor up and slashed down, splitting the table in two. You look over at Xiao and the Qixing to do something to stop the boy but they just stand there in shock. So you take it upon yourself to calm him down. You run over to Xingqiu and smack his face about 30 times and yell and at him to go buy 100 popsicles before running over to Xiangling and throwing her in the ocean and flipping her off. You then run over to Qiqi and throw her into Ganyus arms and ask her to take her to safety. Looking to your left you see Chongyun beating the shit out of Childe, but you shrug it off and let him continue his Childe harassment and run around to get people away from hyped up Chongyun. You can see Xiao walking away peacefully with smile on his face as he speaks with Zhongli. You run over to see what they're talking about.

"Do you think this will finally knock some sense into Childes brain?" Xiao asks with a smile.

"I think so" Zhongli replies before talking to Xiao about useless shit you couldn't give to shits about.

Looking around you spot Xingqiu with a huge cart of popsicles and go to the handle of the cart

"Thank you Xingqiu"

"Anytime my liege"

You take in a deep breathe and turn around while still holding the huge handles to the cart

"HEY CHONGYUN, I GOT POPSICLES"

Chongyun stops slamming Childe with his clamor and turns around, you can see his eyes wide and his face redder than a tomato.

Without saying a word, the boy runs up to you lighting fast as you open the cart showing way more than 100 popsicles inside.

Chongyun leaps into the pile and unwraps one and sticking it in his mouth calming him down.

The people start to walk back and look at the mess they now have to help clean up or it will take too long if only 3 people did it.

You leaped over to Chongyun and wrapped your arms around his waist snuggling into his chest.

"Y-Y/n?"

You grab a popsicle and start to eat it, "Hi Yunnie. Feeling better?"

He chuckles and pats your head, "Y-Yeah...But what happened to Childe over there?"

You look over to him and hear and see him screaming, "JESUS TAKE THE WHEEEEEEL"

"Ummm... You were just knocking some sense into him"

"Huh?"

"Nothing"

You shrug and hug him again

"You're comfy Yunnie"

"You're comfier"


word count: 704 

yeah that was weird and its not the best so goodbye, ciao, adios

see any mistakes ? lemme know

i was saving this in my files for the whole day and just remembered it

chongyuns coming home sooooon

i forgot what i usually say so

y'all this is like the 18th edit df

i forgot to say whos next

childes next because of this sexy rat

does the wap dance on youbye bye cute rats

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does the wap dance on you
bye bye cute rats

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