NEVER ENDING

01 / Amelies POV

"It's tightening too much," I whine. my mom keeps tightening it ALL too tight corset in. 

"Calm down. That's the way it should be, so you have to be able to feel it," she replied.

 "My soul can feel it." I hesitated. she stopped tightening it, and then she tied a bow at the back.

"Look, you look amazing! You should put yourself out more," she said, handing me a mirror.

"Beauty is not everything, and so what if I put myself out more? Nothing would happen, and by the way, I feel just as fine in nightwear and with ugly hair if you were interested."

"That's fine too. I'm just saying that not everyone is born with your ethereal beauty and I'm just proud of my pretty daughter," she replied, stroking my almost black hair behind my ears.

I hesitated "Ethereal beauty? I just have dark hair, dark eyes, dark eyebrows and skin as white as snow. I could well miss a tan!

"She laughed. "Yeah, that's fine with you. I do not want to discuss wether you are beautiful or boring - we need to catch a taxi now."

we stepped out of the house and rightly enough a taxi was waiting for us. we got into the car and my mom told the driver where to get off. I looked down at myself. The turquoise corset was tightened well and it looked like I had a tiny waist. Mom had also had a long purple skirt tailored for me, and to be honest, I was not very much for this "60s" style. But my mom was proud of me, and was ready to show me off to the annual fall ball.

"I hope you keep your voice tonight and that you might be able to socialize a little bit." My mother suggested.

Socialize? What was i supposed to talk about? That's what I never understood by the term 'small talks'. I just can't bring myself to talk about any gossip I've heard, or about anything I saw on instagram - not because I have that app. I remember when I was 11, my mom and dad took me to a big party with thousands of people, and my mom said I should force myself to talk to Aunt Cindy. After I did not understand "small talks", I started to tell in great detail about how I thought I would die one day - and so I was happy because Cindy actually hurried away, and took hold of my parents. After that, at least I was not forced to talk, but it was always highly recommended. My father never forced me to talk - on the contrary, he actually thought it was sweet that I was so shy. But now that my father is no longer here, my mother has taken over.

"why? isnt my beauty enough as you said?" I replied.

"Your beauty speaks for itself, but I know you - and I know you have so much to offer and you are such a great character. It's a shame you do not show that side of yourself. You can not expect to make friends when you do not say a word. Like a plant does not grow without water. "

I do not have a need to make decided friends. All of them at school are loud, popular and gossipy - and I do not intend to be "friends" with someone I do not swing with. The majority of those who are in the popular group of friends do not even swing with each other, it is just because they do not want to lose their status. I once had a friend in primary school named Dina. But her parents were criminals, and were hunted down by the English police - so they moved to Russia. It really was an extra friendship. when we had to buy presents for each other, I always gave her some Barbie doll, and then she always came with a real gold bracelet - it was something of a family. I have absolutely no contact with her now, nor do I have a great need for it. The popular ones at my school always hold the biggest parties, do nothing at school and get drunk on the weekends. When it's summer, they're having parties outside at Rosesquare, and I can simply look out of my window and see them.I hesitated, looking out the window. The annual fall ball was always filled with drunk men and women dressed in long colorful dresses. So if I had to choose my own outfit, I would choose the brown knit sweater that my great-grandmother had knitted, and then some not so colorful skirt. This ball was just something to get over, and as always I just wanted to sit on the bench inside and look down at my palms.-