Sarah's Roses, Book II: Roses of White

Chapter XXXII

Dedicating this chapter to April65, many thanks for your support :) I really appreciate it :)

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Chapter XXXII

The War Between the States would continue for another year and a half and our household would continue much in the same fashion as before. The only significant difference was Arthur's disappearance. We had heard nothing from him since the day he had slipped out of the kitchen door to try and warn Mr. Browne. Poor little Evy would often asked about him, but no one could answer her questions. All we could do was hope and pray that wherever Arthur was, he was alright. No more word came from Jeff either, or Lt. Harper. I could only guess if they were alive. I would also find myself thinking about Sammy, Robert, and Colonel White, wondering how they were doing, and if they were safe. After their visit, I found myself very torn. Now I had friends and family fighting on both sides of the war and my greatest fear was what would happen if they should all meet on the field of battle.

One after another, the days would slowly pass. Prissy continued to whine about how life was unfair to her, Elsie continued to threaten to throw her out someday, George continued to quietly plow along, Kristoffs was very frail, but he also kept holding on and not give up, just like the rest of us.

I continued to wonder about my past, but at the moment, I had no way of finding anything out. The mystery of my grandfather's death was something I could only ask Ben about, and Ben wasn't here. Colonel White was gone and I couldn't question him about the romance that led to my conception and birth. So I did the only thing I could do. Uncle Andrew always said good things come to those who wait, so I followed his advice and waited.

In November 1864, General Sherman marched through Georgia, burning and plundering just about the entire state. I will not say that the news of his march didn't fill me with fear. I was so afraid that he might just go through every state in the Confederacy, and then we would be lost for sure. This house was the only shelter I had left, and I didn't want it lose it, I had lost enough in this war as it was. It was painfully obvious that the South was losing, and while I didn't dare voice any of my opinions out loud, I just hoped the Confederacy would hurry up and lose so our men could come home again.

It was on this frightful note that 1864 came to a close and before I knew it, 1865 was upon us.

One day, in late April, I went to the library to put away a book I had been reading with Evy. She was making wonderful progress in her reading, and had a real thirst of adventure stories. Today we had finished Gulliver's Travels and after slipping the book into its proper place, I slowly walked along the large bookshelves, reading the titles of the books. The fact that the room was unheated, making the place damp and cold in the winter months, was beginning to ruin many of the books. This saddened me but there was nothing I could do about it. Soon I came to the Dickens shelf, and paused there to inspect the condition of the books. Charles Dickens was my favorite writer, and Uncle Andrew had always been faithful to purchase his novels the day they came out. I was very particular about the books and made sure they were placed in alphabetical order. So you can imagine my surprise when I noticed that Bleak House was standing right after Oliver Twist instead of A Tale of Two Cities. I knit my eyebrows together at this discovery and pulled the book out with the purpose of returning it to its proper place. Since the book was in my hands, I found myself leafing through it, and as I did I thought I noticed some kind of mark in on one of the pages. Who would dare put markings in my book? I turned back the pages and sure enough, someone had underlined a passage neatly in pencil:

For I saw very well that I could not have been intended to die, or I should have never lived; not to say should never have been reserved for a happy life. I saw very well how many things had worked together for my welfare, and that if the sins of the fathers were sometimes visited upon the children, the phrase did not mean that I had in the morning feared it meant. I knew I was as innocent of my birth as a queen of hers and that before my Heavenly Father I should not be punished for birth nor a queen rewarded for it.