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𝐹𝑎𝑙𝑙....
Such mixed feelings resonated in the male. This free, warm feeling in his chest calmed him to the point where there was nothing. Nothing but the sweet, chilly scent of Autumn.
He remembered everything. Her touch, her lips, her smile. It's as if this season haunts him. It was such...bliss. Love, hate, and sadness shielded his hate for himself. It was all his fault, trully. He wanted her more and more until there was nothing left to want.
The grey hair sighed, closing his traditonal fan. He needed to stop. There was nothing valuable in reminicsing. The past was the past. There was nothing he could do to change it. Though, he'd be lying if he said he didn't regret-
"Shigure?" A brown haired girl looked at the male with worry. "Ah, Tohru," he smiled, "what's up?" the girl was so pure; so different than him. Tohru was kind, loving, and everything nice. No spice added at all. What an entrancing beauty, one so easy to destroy.
"Oh! Nothing, really. You just seemed out of it, so I wanted to check up on you." she smiled back at him. Oh, Tohru, he thought, if you knew how much I've used you for my own benefit, would you still look at me the way you do?
"Shigure?" a questioning voice called out, "Shigure Sohma?"
Shigure's eyes widened, his whole body tensing. Slowly, almost as if he was about to get eaten alive, he turned his head. A gasp left his lips, grey eyes showing how much his soul shook.
Right there...
She was right there, in front of him, in the flesh. Her hazelnut eyes shone, her dark brown hair flowing with the wind, her sense of style...it's just like how it was, all those years ago.
Shigure found himself grinning softly, "Wednesday...it's been awhile." that was all he could say. What else was there? I missed you. I still love you. Forgive me. As if he, himself, could ever say those ridiculous things outloud.
"Yea-" the female couldn't finish her sentence, getting her name called. "Uh-COMING!" She responded, looking back at Sohma with a guilty smile, "Call me, okay? It's still the same number." her small hand made the telephone symbol, shaking it slightly. Shigure chuckled, nodding. As Wednesday ran off, his eye smile faded into...well, a more soft expression.
Tohru noticed. There was happiness, but it looked so...lonely. So incredibly lonely.
"You okay?" a male in a black suit popped up next to Shigure, looking at Wednesday's fading figure. "She found someone new, Tori." Shigure's gentle gaze never left her, Hatori scoffing a laugh at his friend. "I don't think that's the case." Gure's face came to an oblivious look. "Hm? How so?"
"That's her god brother." "Oh."
"Hmph." Hatori hit Shigure's chest, walking away to the others, "Come on." Shigure smiled once again, following in suit with the Sohmas trusted doctor.
Evening came, Shigure sitting in the living room peacefully drinking tea. "Uhm, I really hope you don't mind me asking, but who was that woman at the park?" Tohru asked, unaware of the weight the question held, as she placed down dinner. Subconciously, the grey hair's grip made the glass shatter, causing the girl to flicnh.
"Oh, sorry. Guess I got a little clumsy there." he chuckled, rubbing the back of his head. “A little? More like hella.” A orange haired boy grumbled, mumbling slightly as he still lied on his side in front of the tv.
“Oh, no, that’s okay.” Tohru assured, cleaning the pieces of glass. “You know, you’re gonna have to come clean sooner or later.” Hatori had a pleasant look on his face, sipping coffee. “You really love torturing me when it comes to her, don’t you?” Shigure rested his cheek on his hand, looking out the open door. “Please, you’ve only tortured yourself.”
“Seriously, who is she? She seems to be really important.” A light gay haired boy curiously stared at Shigure, standing against the entrance. “She an ex-girlfriend or something?” the orange hair questioned, voice still in a grumble. “Yes…” the light in Shigure’s eyes danced with warmth, “matter of fact, Kyo..Yuki, she’s an ex-girlfriend of mine. Also known as the love of my life.”
Love of his life?!?!, Yukii and Kyo gasped in horror. “Well, she seems really nice.” Tohru smiled brightly, just as she always did. “She is, but she’s quite more sadistic than you can imagine.” Shigure grimaced at the thought, all sorts of bad memories flashing through his mind. “Especially when she crushed that one kid’s windpipe.” Hatori looked up, remembering a fight that took place in their second year of high school. “I honestly can’t believe they let her stay in Student Council after that.” Gure sighed, head on the table.
“Why don’t you guys see each other anymore? I mean, you all seem to have good memories with her.” It was a harmless question, one asked out of pure curiosity. And yet, it only pained the dog more. “Well, Tohru, I did something that I don’t think I could ever be forgiven for. Our love was...well, it was magical. In truth, I have no words to exactly describe how...good it was, or how it felt. I may be a novelist, but when I think about her….” he trailed off, his voice holding a sense of nostalgia, a sense of sincerity nobody knew he had, “well, I lose all words of emotion.”
“She believed I never loved her,” Shigure began, recalling everything as clear as day, “and I let her. Because it was easier. If I had admitted it to myself that I loved her more than I ever loved anything, that she was my first most precious thing in this cruel world, I think I would have fallen apart. I was a liar to her and myself, and now, I regret it.”
“I remember that one time,” Hatori put down his cup, interrupting Shigure’s little narrative of the past, “in that one field of dandelions.” Gure knew what the doctor was talking about, the two sharing eye contact for a few seconds. “Ah, yes, that one. Those petals of lilies and little seedlings flew everywhere as we pranced around. Until we fell.”
“Our laughs were so loud, it seems fictional looking back at it. Especially since you were truthful for once.” It was the first time the two adults ever looked like this; like they were at peace. A wave of long lost warmth came over the room, the three teens listening keenly at their long lost happiness. “In my defense,” Shigure’s eyes of longing and despair came back, looking down at his hands, “that was the only time I was ever truly happy.”
