Marvin's Room

five | spark plug fire

|| A N G E L O ||

Sunday

To say that I was ready for a Sunday being around family would be a lie. I dreaded for the moment Sunday would arrive. I could have easily called my mom and told her I was sick, so I can't come, but she was smarter than that. I also knew that I couldn't do that because she called me this morning and since I was sleeping, I just answered it. I didn't take heed of the name that was on my screen.

The next morning, I woke up to Valerie laying in my arms, her soft snoring sounding like music to my ears. It’s been about a month and a half since I last woke up with her by my side. She was snuggled into my chest and my arms were around her, making me feel warm on the inside. After the episode I had last night, you would think that I’d be in a depressed mood. But, honestly, I was happy. I felt joy on the inside because I finally had released the monkey from my back.

“Your breath stinks in the morning,” the sleeping voice sounded to my ears, making me chuckle at its statement. “Why are you breathing all in my face?”

I laughed and pushed her naked body away from mine. “You should know why my breath stinks this morning,” I laughed as I got out of bed. “You coming with me to my mom’s today?”

“Of course. Mama Rose would kill me if I didn’t come.”

I think that was another reason why I was so crazy for Valerie. From the first time that she met my mom, they had begun taking the steps to building a relationship. In my mother's eyes, Valerie was the best thing to ever happen to me. She felt like Valerie kept me balanced and sane whenever I fell at the grasp of depression's tempting hands. Most of the time, I agreed with my mom because she only saw what was on the outside. She saw the laughs, the constant flirting, and the occasional kiss here and there. But, she never saw what went on when the front door to the apartment was closed and locked. She didn't see the fights, the tears, or the makeup sex.

She didn't even see the moment I tried to take my own life.

"Thank you for last night," I didn't really think about the words, but it was the right thing to say. "I'd probably be dead if you hadn't come home the time that you did."

"Home?"

The word seemed to put a stress on the atmosphere and I instantly felt guilty. The way she questioned my word choice made me realize that I had been a monster to her for so long. She's been living with me a whole year and she didn't think of it as being a home to her.

“Val, I know that it hasn't been the best between us, but I mean. Home...I would have probably been dead if you hadn't come home when you did."

"So, this home now?" She asked, looking down at the tan carpet of my room.

"Home is wherever you are," I kissed her forehead as she snuggled against my shoulder. "Valerie, I love you."

As the smooth silence surrounded us, I took the time to appreciate the golden beauty in front of me. Her curly black hair was messy, thrown across her shoulder in a sexy manner. Her toned back was accented by the pure white sheets of my bed, her brown skin striking a deep contrast in comparison. Valerie was beautiful. It was like she had a halo around her head as I looked at her, giving her an earthly glow. My eyes traveled across her body, taking note of the scar that ran down her right side. It still had a little bubble to it with a slight reddish color, marking the spot where he almost killed her.

"Please, stop looking at me like that," she said, turning away. "Just, don't look at me like that."

I grabbed her hand and pulled it towards my mouth. I kissed it softly, letting my lips linger. "You're just so beautiful to me."