Chapter Four

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Chapter Four

Not ever. The harsh words echoed off the narrow walls, banishing them both into silence.

Their eyes locked and the air sizzled between them. A culmination of guilt, anger, and sadness churned within Cole. For a few minutes the fury emanating from Juliet had faltered, and a glimpse of the warm, loving woman he knew so well had resurfaced. For just a moment he'd believed there could be hope for them. Hope of forgiveness. Hope for love. Now... now he just wasn't sure. The price of following his convictions was going to prove high indeed.

"Juliet," he began quietly, striving for calm. "Believe what you will, but my intention was never to involve you in any of this affair. I came to you for help last night because I was desperate. I had nowhere else to go. I had no idea things would get so out of hand."

Juliet sat before him with the drab blanket wrapped around her from her neck to her toes. The cloth was like a physical wall. "You knew full well what you were doing. You asked me to lie for you. You asked me not to give you up." The flames reflected ethereally off her green eyes, adding to her untouchable aura.

"You're right," he said simply. "You're right. I did ask you to lie. I knew there was some danger, and I wasn't truthful with you. Being a spy is a horrible lot, but it is part of the world we live in." He leaned in until just a few inches separated them. "At present we live in a terrible world, and some circumstances are beyond our control. I'm sorry for what happened to you this morning, but I cannot take the blame for the actions of Reynolds and his men."

She remained perfectly still, staring back at him. He could all but see the cogs working in her brain.

"I have an opportunity to end this war, and I won't apologize for that even if it means losing you."

Her eyes narrowed. "Don't pretend losing me is any great loss to you. We both know the only reason you proposed is because Missy Carlson got engaged to Robert Hayes."

"What?" Taken aback by the turn of the conversation, Cole rocked back on his heels. "Missy Carlson?" The country belle hadn't crossed his mind in years. Back in the day he and all the other boys in the county had vied for her affections, begging for a quick kiss or a touch of the hand, but that was a long time ago. A competition of youth. He shook his head. "No, Juliet. I asked you to marry me because I love you. You have always been there. You-"

"Don't placate me, Cole. You always had some girl or another on your arm, but it was never me. Not really. You just didn't want to go to war without a sweetheart."

Cole tried to stuff back the cord of truth buried deep within him.

"Perhaps it will please you to know Robert is now lame. He nearly lost a leg at Gettysburg, and now Missy won't marry him."

"That news doesn't please me at all," he said shortly. "I am, however, pleased that he is not dead like so many of our friends. I have no doubt he'll find a girl far less shallow than Missy to take as a wife." Robert had been a true friend. "Don't confuse the issue here, Jules. Marrying Missy Carlson never once crossed my mind. Getting married at all didn't much cross my mind until the war hit and we were set to march out. When it came down to it, the only girl I could imagine marrying... was you."

Tears welled in Juliet's eyes, catching in the firelight, but not a single one of them fell. "Then why did you betray me? Why did you switch sides?"

"To save lives!"

"And how many lives did your treason cost?"

"Not nearly as many as will be preserved by ending this war. I'm not just talking about the lives in battle, Juliet. I'm talking about the future. The south has been decimated. Even if the Confederacy could win the war-which it can't-it doesn't have the resources to sustain itself. What sort of future will await the families and children of the southern states? The fact is that the north and the south need each other to survive as a nation and to prosper."

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