To my beautiful girl,
I feel privileged to call you mine, most nights I stare at the pictures of us on my phone and fall asleep with your shining green eyes on my mind.
To answer your questions, I am well, better than I have been in a while. There is a lot of happiness in the air at base as a lot of us are going home in a month. Mike has been teasing me since I received your last letter, always looking over my shoulder to see what gossip you have to tell us from home.
She hasn't had the baby yet, Mike sits on the edge of his seat every day when we get mail, still no news. His excitement brings us all a piece of mind, a constant reminder what we are fighting for that beyond the borders of this chaos there is peace.
Thirty more days and then I will never leave you again, that I promise. I've missed enough time with you that I can never get back, and I don't want to be like Mike waiting for news about the birth of his daughter, shit that is even hard to watch.
We sacrifice so much by coming here, not only our bodies and mental health but our families, our women. I wish I had quit sooner, I'm sorry for putting you through this for four years, you deserve so much better.
When I get home, I am going to make you mine officially, I'm putting a goddamn ring on your finger, and then I'm going to give you the family you've been dreaming about and getting you out of that tiny apartment into a real home.
Your last letter arrived on a day where I started questioning my sanity and like always you saved me with your kind words, and you my sweet girl are wrong. You are still the same spitfire I fell in love with, you just do a better job controlling your temper,, but otherwise you haven't changed.
The world outside our quarters is forever changing and I feel myself changing every day, I fear you may not like the man who returns. I've seen too much the last few years, watched my friends, men who have become like brother's die right before my eyes, and the corruption over here is out of this world, most days I don't know who to trust.
I know spending every holiday and anniversary apart has been difficult, this is the last time I promise, I'm never leave you again once I get home.
I'm ready to spend the rest of my life with you baby, like you kept your secrets I have mine and I was scared when we first started dating. You are the first girl I have ever loved, and I don't want to hurt you.
You are so strong and resilient in times when I feel weak, I can't bear the thought of feeling so helpless and that is why I kept enlisting. Being here has only taught me one thing, I can't stand to be apart from you.
Amber my special girl, you are beautiful, and smart, you're laugh is contagious and makes me smile even when I miss the joke. Your eyes are my favorite shade of green, before you I never thought I would love green, but you my sweet girl changed me.
Your heart is pure gold, and in moments where I didn't think,we would make it you showed me that our love is stronger than the war in my mind. I've never met anyone like you, someone who makes my blood boil but soothes me in moments where rage is the only emotion I feel. You make me happy and I want to come home to you more than anything in this entire world.
You shared another piece of your soul with me in your last letter, and even though it started dark, for just a moment I was worried that I had broken you, but you always show me just how strong you are.
I remember the first moment I saw you, full of rage and fire ready to take Ace and I out because we wouldn't let you near Celine. You looked like a little pixie with flaming red hair, spitting foul words, and throwing punches to men double your size.
You reminded me of my sister before her heart was broken, in that second I had to know you. You stormed into the house and it was like the sun was shining in the darkness. You were the sun, rays of excitement and happiness shooting off you, your green eyes bright and your pink lips were curved into this little smirk.
I wanted to kiss you, every time you smiled at me after that I wanted to kiss you, to hear you say my name, to be the guy you spoke to Celine about at night. The walls were pretty thin in that house, I heard all your conversations at night.
I made up an excuse to have you in my room every night, I wanted time with you, to see you when you weren't trying to look pretty. There's something special about a woman who can look beautiful during the day and absolutely stunning at night, with those red locks of hair piled up on your head in a pair of pajamas that most nights left your long legs bare. You teased me every night, with those creamy freckled legs, always begging for my touch, I saw the look in your eyes every time my gaze strayed.
You tried to convince me in your letter that you loved me before you kissed me, I wish I had kissed you first, instead of going in for that hug, I wish I had held your face in my callused hands, felt your smooth cheeks under my thumb and kissed those pink lips.
I want to kiss you now.
At night before bed when I close my eyes I remember our last night together. I never wanted to go to bed, afraid that our time was dwindling so quickly.
In the middle of April you were wearing Christmas pajamas, your red hair twisted into a braid down your back, face free of makeup, I had taken to counting your freckles before bed. Finding any excuse to touch you, that night I counted 127 on your face.
If I focus on your face hard enough I almost feel like I'm back there, my fingers grazing your face, eyes closed, long lashes brushing your cheek bones. You were afraid to close your eyes, we stayed up the whole night talking.
Planning our future, two kids a boy and girl, a big house near the ocean with a blue picket fence around it, the same color as the sea on a clear day. A dog that we would fight over at night to sit with on the couch. Christmases spent sitting next to a big tree in matching pajamas with your favorite songs playing, Celine and Ace with us.
We are so close to starting our future, soon we will have a family. Mornings will be spent in hushed whispers over cups of coffee as the children sleep, nights in the kitchen cooking and helping with homework.
In thirty days our future will begin, please wait for me. I love you forever and always.
Yours only,
Ryan
YOU ARE READING
Only You
RomanceI've always been his spitfire. He's always been my rock. But he's been gone for six years - and six years? Things change - our relationship changes. Add that to his scars from the Army - to my own issues? We're a mess - a disaster waiting to happen...
