BTS Texts

the one with a secret

(sorry about the names I think from here on out it's just gonna be their real names/nicknames.)

Jin
It's 5pm

Hobi
and?

Jin
and nothing bad has happened
thats not normal

Tae
eh just take it as a sign or something

Jin
Yeah sure....

30 minutes later

Jin
I KNEW IT

Jungkook
Knew what?

Jin
WHY ARE THERE 300 POUNDS(roughly 137 kg) OF BANANA MILK BEING SHIPPED TO OUR HOUSE

Namjoon
What do you mean by that?

Jin
I just got a text saying "Your order is on it's way." and when I clicked the message it said I had bought 300 POUNDS of banana milk

Jimin
Jungkookie maybe? He loves banana milk that much

Jungkook
NO I WOULD NEVER DO THAT plus if I did wouldn't put it on hyungs account!

Namjoon
Are you sure? You screw up alot

Jungkook
No I don't

Tae
Yeah you do. Remember when you bought a new pair of shoes and ruined them not even an hour after

Jimin
or when you tried to eat a burger with chopsticks

Jungkook
to be fair that last time I was pretty drunk okay and the shoes had it coming for them!

Jin
Uh huh well I still need to know WHO ORDERED SO MUCH MILK BECAUSE THIS "PURCHASE" WAS NEARLY 442,000 WON (400 USD) AND I AM NOT SPENDING THAT ON A CHILDREN'S DRINK

...

Tae
Well it wasn't me because I'm saving up for new a new complete Gucci set

Namjoon
And it wasn't me because I would never charge it to my precious Jinnie's account

Jimin
Dont act all "romantic" HOW DO WE KNOW ITS NOT YOU

Namjoon
HOW DO WE KNOW ITS NOT YOU

Jimin
Because I would never buy banana milk without making a pervy joke about bananas and their milk first.

Namjoon
Fair enough, so the only ones left who could've done it are Yoongi, Jungkook, and hobi?

Yoongi
Why the actual fuck would I buy 300 pounds of banana milk and HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE HOBI IF DOING SUCH A CRIME

Hobi
awww yoongi is a softie!! But it's not mee

Jin
I can believe..well all of that but JUNGKOOK 

Jungkook
IT WASNT ME

Jin
Uh huh..sure except the message I received says that the account name is under "JeonJungkook69"
THATS YOUR USERNAME

in hobi and jungkooks secret chat

Jungkook
Hobi he's on to us! We gotta move operations!!

Hobi
I know...Luckily I prepared a Plan B
Instead of running the basement operation what if we do a stand! Like we're selling lemonade

Jungkook
Oooh yes and we know armys wouldn't pass that up

Hobi
Exactly, so my plan is: Delete these messages, tell jin the truth (but dont include me), and then we continue to run it like nothing happened!

Jungkook
Big brain. I like it.

Hobi
Yup! And then all is well, you get more milk money, I get more sprite money, and everything is right in the world

back in the main boi chat

Jin
Jungkook? Answer me

Jungkook
Fine. You caught me. I was going to sell the banana milk in the basement for profit and then buy even MORE banana milk with that money.

Tae
YOU WERE GOING TO DO WHAT WITHOUT MEE????!!!

Jungkook
Yeah but I guess you caught me so I'll make the call to send back all the milk

Jin
Just like that?

Jungkook
Yup!

Namjoon
Anyone else think thats kinda sus?

Yoongi
Sus? What-

3 hours later

Jungkook
The goods are here, bring them around back and I'll go find a spot to put up the stand

Hobi
Okay, make sure to bring some disguises

Jungkook
Affirmative

HobiOooooh are we doing like spy talk? Yay

Jungkook
Yeah I thought that's what we agreed on?
Anyways, make sure the hyungs don't find out about this 

Hobi
Of course!

In namjins secret chat

Jin
So you do know they're still doing the banana milk plan right

Sorry this one was really short and crappy but I've been loaded with school work since the year is ending soon!