Just Sign Here~ MewGulf Imagine

Chapter 11

Eleven

"I'm not tired," Julia whined.

"Of course you're not, darling." I helped her change clothes, and her head popped up from her pajama shirt. "It's been a while since I told you the story of us."

She nodded sleepily and pulled on the bottoms.

Gulf stood in the doorway, but I did my best not to focus on him.

"Tell it, Daddy." She jumped over to her pillow and plopped down and under the duvet. "It starts wiv Daddy and Mommy S in school."

I smiled and crawled over to lie down in the middle. It was easier if I could turn my back on the doorway. "Yes. They were the best of friends and grew up together." I pulled up the duvet to her chin and tucked her in properly. "They thought it was funny that they were so alike while being so different at the same time. They had the same hobbies, spent all their time together, liked the same subjects in school, and were accepted at the same college."

"But Daddy liked boys, and Mommy liked girls," she recited.

I chuckled quietly and combed back her hair a bit. "That's right, and in college, Mommy S met her first girlfriend, Mommy M."

"Tha's when Daddy got mad." Julia made a scowl, presumably to mimic me.

"He did. It wasn't his proudest moment," I admitted. "He was just afraid that Mommy S would forget Daddy, but he shouldn't have worried. He became great friends with Mommy M too."

The heaviness landed on my heart like I knew it would. I still saw us, the three of us, back then. Fresh out of college, traveling together, them trying and failing to hook me up with someone, me trying and succeeding to play peacemaker when they'd argued. Sandra, with her calm demeanor, dirty-blond waves, blue eyes, and the biggest stubborn streak in history. Then Mona. A fiery brunette with Italian roots, a loud mouth, short fuse, and yet, so much patience. She could never hold a grudge.

"They were the best friends Daddy could ever ask for," I went on, swallowing the emotions that rose. "And one day, when they asked Daddy to help them have a baby, he didn't even think about it. He said yes right away."

Julia turned onto her side and closed her eyes, searching me out with her hand. She played with my earlobe. "Then Daddy was silly again."

"Was he?"

She nodded. "Cuz he say he wanted only to be an uncle."

I grinned. "That's true. It was very silly of him." Christ, I'd been naïve. Mona hadn't thought much of it, but Sandra had known me better than I'd known myself. The two had wanted to raise a baby together, without a father involved, and I'd been wholly on board. Family hadn't existed on my radar. "The three of us agreed that Daddy would stay close, but Mommies would raise the baby together. And we were all excited. We went to the doctor together, and Daddy only missed one single appointment."

Julia hummed. It was usually her favorite part, though she was too tired now.

"One day, Daddy came over to Mommies' apartment." I stroked her cheek gently, the memories still so fucking vivid. "He wanted to know how the doctor's appointment had gone, and he almost stumbled right there at the door."

"Shoes," Julia whispered knowingly.

"Mm, he looked down and saw a pair of cute shoes for a girl." I released a breath and rubbed at the tightness in my chest. "He picked them up and stormed into the kitchen, where he found Mommy S and Mommy M. 'We're having a girl?' he asked. And they nodded and beamed brighter than the sun and burst into happy tears. 'We're having a girl!' they said."

Thinking back on it now, I could see where things began to change for me. Finding out the gender had made everything more real. Suddenly, I was picturing glimpses of the future. I was going to teach this little sprite how to cheer for the Patriots, how to ride a bike, and I was going to be there when she took her first steps.

Sandra had seen it and suggested a contract. First and foremost, to make sure I got custody should anything happen to them, and secondly, in an attempt to give me some rights. I'd always liked contracts. They were insurance. They were security. She'd known that too. And so, we signed an agreement that would grant me one weekend a month and a couple weeks in the summer when Julia had grown out of the newborn phase.

Everyone was happy again, and the vise around my chest had loosened.

"The day you were born, it was love at first sight." I gathered Julia's hand and kissed the top of it before I tucked it under the duvet. She was asleep. "I understood that being an uncle and godfather would never be enough."

I'd kept it to myself for three months. Three excruciating months. Then I started planning how to tell Sandra and Mona. Hell, I'd been ready to beg. I'd invited them over for dinner the following weekend.

We never got that far.

Definitely needed a drink now. After kissing Julia on the forehead, I rolled off the bed with a grunt and reluctantly faced Gulf.

I met him in the doorway, where he slipped his hand into mine and looked down at our fingers.

"How did they die?" he asked quietly.

"Car accident. They were out test-driving an ugly fucking minivan."

Julia had been with Sandra's mother for the afternoon.

"I'm so sorry, sir," he whispered.

"Mew." I cleared my throat and peered down at our hands too. "We're off the clock."

"Okay."

I wanted to hear him say it. I wanted to hear my name fall off his lips.

"I need a drink," I said instead. "But now you know."

It was a good thing I didn't know Gulf back then. I'd barely been human. In my darkest days, the guilt had threatened to consume me, and I'd been half convinced that I'd subconsciously wished for Sandra and Mona to die.

I knew better these days, of course, but the mind could play tricks that hurt more than a gunshot wound.

"For what it's worth," he murmured, "your friends couldn't have left Julia in better hands."

I swallowed hard, unable to respond, and lifted his hand and kissed his knuckles. Then I let go and trailed outside.

Four drinks took the edge off.

Victoria stopped after her last glass of wine and promised she'd move Julia to her bedroom later.

I appreciated it immensely and poured my fifth, this time a rum and no Coke.

Mathis was quizzing Gulf about his radio show. Specifically, the Vietnam War.

"He's done at least four episodes on that," I said. I couldn't know if there were more, as only the past twenty shows were available on the radio network's website.

Gulf grinned curiously. "How would you know?"

"Because I've listened to them." I took a swig. "I like that you go all the way back. Otherwise, you can't understand the war. I've seen so many documentaries that start with JFK, but you have to go back to Woodrow Wilson and when Ho Chi Minh tried to meet with him—and you do that."

Mathis nodded in agreement. "I'll have to check them out."

I tipped my glass at Gulf, who was watching me with a pinch of amusement and wonder. "You should host your own podcast instead. You'd have a much bigger reach." Fuck, I almost spilled. Almost. I didn't. "He's amazing," I told Mathis. "He had me hooked after five minutes."

"Christ," Gulf chuckled. The sweet boy was blushing. "How many drinks have you had?"

"As long as I can keep track, not enough." I winked.

I was intoxicated but not drunk. Yet. I was just...loosening up a bit. Thinking about Sandra and Mona required some therapy afterward, and this was therapy. Sitting out here on the terrace, hearing music from the pool area, other guests enjoying their vacations around us... I felt better now.

Mathis stole Gulf's attention again with more questions about war history, and I stole the bag of chips on the table.

"I think that's my cue to say goodnight," Victoria decided. "It's enough that I have to listen to Tom go on and on and on about World War II."

"Tom's a good man," I replied with a nod.

"He has his moments." Victoria smirked wryly and dipped down to kiss my cheek. "Go get him, Mew."

Oh, of course she knew. I shook my head but couldn't help but smile.

"Goodnight, everyone." She picked up her sandals and headed inside.

"Night, dear. I owe you a dance," I told her.

"I don't know what for, but I'll hold you to it." She grinned and slid the door closed.

Mathis, Gulf, and I spent the next hour or so lost in conversations about the historical events and people we admired and were fascinated by one way or another. Gulf and I had a lot in common, particularly where World War II was concerned, but where he went full-on adorable geek on the Civil War and colonial times in Africa, I preferred the political mind games of the Cold War.