Cross Me Out || Sebastian Stan FF

Chapter 15: Monomaniac

"Hi, have you been drinking today?" I slur my words as I look at the sky holding my phone to my ear.

"Hi, Y/n, no, unfortunately, why?" I hear Malia on the other end and I smirk putting my cigarette out, going back to my bedroom.

"Great. Come and pick me up? I need a ride." I say stuffing some clothes in a bag.

"A ride to where? It's Christmas day and it's almost midnight." She asks me confused and I sigh knowing she is going to try and change my mind.

"To New York? I really need to do this." I explain the best way I can in my drunken state, but I cannot hear her laugh. I was expecting a laugh from her at this point.

"Are you sure you want to leave today?" She asks me and I assure her that I do.

As I wait for her I book a last-minute flight to New York and I cannot believe that I am actually doing this. Malia comes and picks me up, asking me about the Christmas gift Sebastian has sent me and I realize she was on this too, as she knew before I told her about it. She explained to me how Sebastian didn't know where I was going to spend Christmas so he sent her that gift a week earlier asking her to bring it to wherever I was. Apparently, Malia thought it was some kind of super gift and that's why she took my leaving to New York so seriously.

"Are you sure though that you want to leave now? I mean you are really drunk. I'm not even sure you're gonna pass by security in this state." She asks me confused after finding out what Sebastian's gift really was.

"That reminds me, we have to stop really quick for a coffee to go." My mind has seem to lost full capacity functioning as I clearly haven't thought this through.

"Wait, before you leave, I have to ask you this. What will you even tell him? Have you actually thought this through?" Malia asks me and I shrug.

"I didn't. I don't know what I am about to tell him, but I know I need to see him and maybe words will just come out then. I need to just go there and face him, ask for an explanation for whatever is happening, I don't know why I am doing this, but for the first time in my life I am really sure that I need this. I need to do this." I tell Malia as we are at the airport, gulping on my coffee in hopes I will actually sober up.

I seem to have no control over my mind, it's like someone hardcore programmed this decision in my brain and all the synapses are wired for me to just do this. I have never been so confident about a decision in my whole life. For the most part, I am not even trying to find out why I do it, I just do. I should have been in New York and my mind seems to really try to correct the errors in my default program.

I don't know how 14 hours pass so fast, but I definitely am sober and finding myself at the JFK airport is not something I thought I will go through today. I look at the clock and realize it's 8 am in New York, I haven't booked a room at any hotel, I am honestly in dire need of coffee, I have no idea where the fuck I should tell my legs to walk because I didn't expect the airport to be so full given it's 26th of December. I feel thoughts racing in my mind and I definitely feel my anxiety kicking in.

What the hell are you doing in New York, Y/n? How the fuck are you here and why did you think it was a good idea?

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

Ok, listen up you moron. You're here, there's nothing else better to do now than doing what you came here to do, so just do that.

Right, I should just go talk to Sebastian.

Oh no, what are you even going to tell him?

I shouldn't have come here.

Nope you shouldn't, I don't know why you did it, but standing here still is not going to fix your problem. So let's get ourselves together and come out of this with a hopefully good experience.