Teach Me - Brollins

38.

"We love her for as long as we have her" Rebecca stated quietly
"She's awake" Kaitlyn, the nurse stated as she walked out of the room "And she's asking for her Daddy" she looked at Colby and he took a deep breath
"I.." He shook his head "I can't go in there and look at her, her little face.."
"Colby" Rebecca grabbed his face "You take a deep breath, check your emotions and go in there.." She nodded "You don't have to say anything, I will talk" she stated "You just go in there and hold her.. hold her for as long as you want"

Colby felt Rebecca's hand on his back as he walked in the room and he saw his daughter, her eyes tired.. she was messing with the bracelet on her wrist and looking at the wires she was hooked up to, he could tell her brain was working, she was trying to figure out what was going on.

"Daddy" she said quietly and Colby walked over to her slowly and sat down on the bed next to her
"Ya know.." Colby spoke up "If you wanted my attention, there are so many other ways you could have got it" he said
"I was shaky" the little girl nodded and looked at Rebecca "Mom didn't let me hit my head on the floor though" she said
"You remember what happened?" Rebecca sat in the chair and the little girl nodded
"I thought I was gonna be sick and then I got all fuzzy and my arms felt funny" Cali explained quietly "then I started to fall and I felt you grab onto me as I fell"
"She knows you were the last one to have their hands on her before she passed out" Colby looked at Rebecca and Cali nodded
"Is that why I'm here?" Cali looked around at the monitors again
"Yeah.. you've had a rough couple of hours munchkin" Colby nodded
"When do I get to go home?"
"You're gonna be staying here for a few days probably" Rebecca nodded "Maybe longer.. maybe less, we just gotta figure out what's going on and how to get you better"
"I'm sleepy" she said quietly with a yawn and Rebecca smiled sweetly as she ran her hand through the little girl's hair
"Sleep" Colby said as he moved to lay next to his little girl "You sleep as much as you want" he said

Rebecca sat in the chair and watched the monitors, she watched Colby hold tightly to Cali who was snuggled into his chest fast asleep.

"You need to go get food" he spoke quietly and she shook her head "Rebecca" he said and she looked at him "I've got her.. she's asleep.. you need to eat"
"So do you" she said and he nodded
"Go get food and bring me something back.. and I'm sure Cali wouldn't say no to some type candy when she wakes up" he said and Rebecca smiled

Rebecca had been gone all of thirty minutes when Cali woke up again, this time instead of being freezing cold like she was when she fell asleep,  she was burning up, the fever had returned. Colby knew what it was, he had seen it with heather.. Cali's body was doing its best to fight off this disease and he was thankful that his daughter was fighting but he knew there would come a time where she would be to weak to fight it any longer.

Cali watched as the nurse gave her some more medication in her IV to help with the fever and hooked another antibiotic up and hung it on the pole
"That's a lot of bags" the little girl spoke up "Mommy said that she doesn't like me having a lot of medicine"
"I know your mommy always said we weren't going to pump you full of medication" Colby nodded "but sometimes I have to do what's best for you"
"She's not gonna be happy" the little girl shook her head "She's gonna be mad at you when she comes to visit me again"
"Well you tell her to suck it up and come visit me if she has an issue with it" he stated
"Cause I'm sick" Cali nodded "and I gotta get better, right?" She looked up at him
"That's right" he nodded "We're going to get you better, and get your strength back.. then you're gonna come home"
"And go back to gymnastics?"
"Not for awhile" Colby shook his head
"But it like it!"
"I know you like it but right now keeping you healthy is the top priority above gymnastics" he said and the little girl folded her arms across her chest with a huff, she didn't understand what was going on and he didn't have the strength or the words to explain it to her

He watched her reach out for the cup that next to the table as she sat up slightly
"Do you want the water?" He asked and she nodded, he quickly grabbed the cup and handed it to her and in something he'd seen before with heather, she couldn't hold it, luckily he still had a hand on it when her little hands decided to lose grip of it
"Sorry" Cali looked up at him with tears forming in her eyes
"What? Why are you sorry?"
"Cause I dropped it.. and now you got water all over your hand"
"No, baby.." he shook his head "Don't worry about it" he wiped his hand on his jeans "See? All better" he nodded and he held the cup to her lips and she took a small sip before coughing "Easy.." he sat her up slowly
"Am I gonna die?" She asked out of the blue and he stared at her, her big brown eyes staring back at him and he could tell she was serious.. he may not have had the strength of the words to explain what was happening to her but she had the comprehension to understand that something wasn't right with her
"You.." he thought for a moment "When you were taking a nap.. the doctors were working really hard to find out what happened and why you got all shaky.." he explained "they found out that you.. have the same type of sickness that your mommy had"
"But I didn't have any babies yet cause I'm little"
"That is true" Colby nodded "but what mommy had is genetic.. which means that she passed it onto you and if you ever have your own children one day when you're not little.. you could pass it onto them"
"But I'm not supposed to.. mommy wasn't supposed to have me, so I can't have babies" she said and he saw little tears forming in her eyes "I don't get any babies"
"Hey.." he picked her up to sit her in his lap "you get babies.. you can adopt.. you can have another woman carry your babies for you.. there's lots of ways to have babies.. and we will cross that bridge when we get to it.. in the way distant future"
"Mommy died cause of being sick.. am I gonna die too?" She asked the question once more and once again he felt the stabbing feeling come back in his chest, he didn't want to scare her but he also didn't want to lie to her
"We are going to do everything in our power for that not to happen"
"I can't go anywhere yet" the little girl shook her head "I gotta meet my little sister first"
"That's right" he nodded "you keep thinking that.. you keep fighting because you've got to meet your little sister"
"And I gotta teach her how to talk and how to walk and to color and stay in the lines.. and lots of stuff"
"You've got a lot to teach that little sister of yours.. so your work isn't done here" he said "not by a long shot"
"I gotta fight for her" She nodded determinedly 
"You fight for her" he nodded as he kissed her head

As much as he wanted Cali to fight this to see her little sister, to be able to hold her and meet her and be the best big sister he knew she would be.. selfishly he wanted her to fight this to stay with him, he didn't know what he would do if he lost her and that thought terrified him

"And I gotta fight to stay with you cause you're a mess without me" she said and he laughed slightly as he wiped the tears from his eyes quickly so she didn't see them fall