[Mafia Love] Chuuya x reader x Dazai

Chapter 21

~ Chapter 21 ~

Reader P.O.V

Again, it was happening again. Another confession I couldn't answer. All for the stupid feelings I had for both of them. But did I have the right to even like them. They have done so much for me since I've been here. And all I've done is problems. I wanted to seek help, I wanted to tell someone what I felt but I didn't know who. Over the past years that I have been in the Port Mafia I have only been friends with Akutagawa, Tachihara, Gin, Elise and sort of Mori.

I tried to be friends with Higuchi but she got mad the last time I was talking to Aku. I  couldn't pinpoint why but I heard rumors from Dazai that she liked him. I guess I must have made her jealous but who knows. I haven't talked to Tachihara for a while now so I guess I could talk to him. But it would have to be in secret because Dazai and Chuuya always make me stay away from him if I need to talk to him. 

I guess I could also talk to Gin but she doesn't talk much and right now I need someone who can give me advice! I sigh and look up at my ceiling. I was currently the morning after Chuuya's confession. I get up, get dressed and leave like every other day. I had finished my work so there wasn't any work for me to do. I run down to the lobby and head to my favorite coffee shop. It was a small shop so not many people showed up there.

I order my usual order and go to sit at a table in the corner. I slouch down and drink my coffee with such ease. This was about the only time when I could be relaxed and by myself. The rest of the time I would be working nonstop. "Y/n...I like you." Those words kept replaying in my mind all the time. I wanted to drown in my own emptiness. I felt sad and frustrated at myself. I wanted to be with both of them. I....loved them.

It wasn't a simple crush anymore. It wasn't a 'like' anymore. I actually loved them both so much. Suddenly I felt something dripping off my face. I touched my cheek, and felt the wet substance falling down my cheek. I was crying. Yes, I was devastated and disappointed at myself. The true cruelty of love had finally hit me. I held my face while my knees were up to my chest.

I got up and ran out of the store. I ran faster and faster by the moment. The air hit my body with a freezing pain. I huffed, gasped, inhaled for air. I was running out of it. I was running out of time. Today was the day I had to tell them both how I felt. Right now is the time when I need to speak out my feelings. I bumped into people and tripped over cracked on the ground.

I had finally reached the building where I had first met them. The first time I had met my new family. I walked in trying to catch my breath as I looked around. I walked to their office and stopped in front of it. Millions of thoughts were going through my head. I was getting nervous, scared. What if they were only joking, but they looked pretty serious when they said it. Bu-but what if it was a joke among them.

It's ok. Those are the things I can deal with, but I can't keep these feelings to myself anymore. I knock on the door and go in. As I go in I see two guys that in my eyes they mean the world to me. I walk in, close the door, and inhale the biggest breath I have ever done in my whole life. I raise my head and yell, "Guys I have something to say!"

They both look at me as if I just came out of a mental hospital. I blush a bit but get over it. I wanted to get over this confession as soon as possible. " I wanted to say to you guys that I...love spending time with you guys and I every moment I was here you guys made my day better." I could feel myself cry again. " I hope that I get to spend many more years with you guys, and that this feeling that I have never disappears. And I am sorry that I can't give you a solid answer, and that my answer is halved ass." I giggled a bit at how ridiculous I probably looked. Yet sobbed like a little girl.

" Ughhh I'm sorry. I love...both of you.." I held my hands to my face in complete exhaustion. I finally could breathe again.  But now I had to await their answers. I was wiping my tears away when I felt two bodies hugging me. Two familiar hands holding me as if it was the last time. I raise my head already knowing who I would be seeing. Dazai and Chuuya trying to comfort me has got to be one of the best things I have ever experienced in my life.

" Don't worry about what we think of you. Love whoever you want to love. Loving isn't a sin, but an act of purity and passion. And if loving both of us is what is making you happy then so be it. Don't drown yourself in an abyss of darkness for that." Chuuya whispered in my ear these exact words. These were the words that I had been yearning for, for so long.

But of course nothing good lasts when Dazai is around. That includes a beautiful moment. " Sorry to interrupt the beautiful speech, Chuuya but I want to ask something. Are we going to then share our poor little Y/n?" As soon as those words came out of Dazai's mouth we backed away. But not because we were disturbed. It was because we were embarrassed. After a bit of thought I smiled at both of them and said, "I wouldn't mind that." And ever since then I have been dating them. Sometimes it can be very annoying being in the same room as them, but I don't regret the choice I made. I could have chosen one but I don't think I would be happy that way. Call it an act of selfishness, but to me it's just love.

~ THE END ~

( AHHH! I finally finished. *Sighs of relief* I hope you guys enjoyed this story! And I want to apologize if in the end it didn't satisfy you. And I want to apologize if the story is crappy. I am definitely not good at imagining but I wanted to give it a try. Anyways...I don't have much to say besides this. And THANK YOU IF YOU READ THIS FAR! BYE BYE! XD WAIT! if you want a little chapter of the dating then please say so I don't mind making it...BYE BYE NOW! Also I wrote other stories so if you want to read those just go check my pf.)