Dark Dreams

Chapter Diciotto

I walk towards the door and ring the doorbell continuously. It is suspiciously quiet for 11 men in one house. The door is pulled open by a very angry Justin who openly glares at me while I look at him innocently. He rolls his eyes before letting me in.

Justin follows behind me as I walk into the living room to find every single one of my brothers glaring at Asher as he glares back. Neither one backed down. I let a little chuckle slip as everyone then turned to face me. I show no emotion as I stare back at them.

"What do you think you are doing here?"

No one mutters a single word or answers the question.

"We want to know what happened." Carlo mumbled quietly

My glare hardens as I look at them. For years I took care of myself and never needed anyone, but I had always wanted the family bond. The love, the support. The way they cared, but I gave up on that years ago right after I was shown what love does to people and how it turns them sick and twisted.

 It took me years to get past it and as much as I like to believe I'm over it. I never will be. It forever lives in the back of my mind, a constant reminder of how truly broken I will forever be but I'm fine with that because I learned what a truly broken person was capable of and then I became it.

My monsters were never under my bed. They were and are forever in my head. Growing up they lived next door as well but when I got my strength I gutted the bitches from the inside out.

 They wanted a fight. So I brought the fucking war. You'd think people learn, but it's quite pathetic how many people get addicted to the false pretences of love. It's a drug and it kills. People will do anything to numb the pain when it does but not even a gun to the head and the pull of a trigger could mend the broken. I gave up on that shit a long time ago.

Even after I watched the children with the loving families parade around everyday. I was soon grateful that I didn't. It was a weakness I could never afford.

I am not the little girl that fears the darkness. No, now I embrace it as it will forever be my home. The light in me was snuffed out a long time ago and part of those responsible for turning me into the bitch I am today are standing in front of me looking at the ground ashamed as they know they fucked up. If only they saved me from hell after I was sent away. I'm glad they didn't though. I never would have learned how truly horrid everything is.

People do terrible things for the people they love. I have witnessed it first hand multiple times. I watched my best friend put a gun to her head and commit because of the love and heartbreak she held for a stupid boy who I then killed. I fucking made him suffer.

So they can take a big fuck you and leave before their last sight on this earth is of me with the barrel of my gun being held to their forehead and I can promise I won't hesitate to pull the trigger. I am forever the weapon they made me and I'm fucking proud of it.

"Get the fuck out before I shoot off everyone of your fucking dicks, you dumb fucking cunts."

I stare at them as they all walk out and leave. I then walk to my office and try to get some work done. My mind was going a mile a minute and I couldn't turn it off so I sat back in my chair and watched out the window as time flew by. Justin nor Asher disturbed me as they knew I needed space.

I was up most of the night not moving as my mind flashed through my childhood and every other aspect of my life going through things I wish never to forget and things I wish I could.