MoaTinyGeneCrumbs
"You must not look at me like that."
Jake's voice is steady, but his hands are not. They tremble at his sides, ink staining his fingers from the exercise Heeseung had assigned him.
Heeseung does not move away.
"Like what?" he asks quietly.
"Like I am..." Jake swallows. "Like I am not merely the gardener's son."
The fire cracks. Outside, rain strikes the tall windows.
Heeseung steps closer - close enough that Jake can smell cedarwood and smoke on his coat.
"You are not merely anything," Heeseung says.
Jake lets out a breath that sounds almost like a laugh.
"You are seven years my elder. You are heir to this house. And I am... tolerated."
Something sharp flickers in Heesung's eyes.
"You think I do not know the difference between us?"
"I think," Jake replies, forcing himself to meet his gaze, "that you have the privilege of forgetting it."
Silence.
Heavy. Electric.
Heeseung reaches out - hesitates - then grips Jake's wrist.
"If I forget it," he says, voice rough now, "it is because when I look at you, I do not see rank. I do not see impropriety. I see-"
He stops himself.
Jake's breath catches. "Do not say it."
"Why?"
"Because if you name it," Jake whispers, "I shall not survive it."
The words hang between them.
Heesung's grip tightens, just slightly.
"They would destroy you," Jake continues. "They would call you unnatural. They would call me worse."
"And would you have me marry quietly," Heeseung asks, voice breaking at the edges, "knowing that every vow would be a lie?"
Jake closes his eyes.
"I would have you safe."
"And I would have you," Heeseung replies.
That does it.
Jake pulls his wrist free, stepping back like the room has caught fire.
"You cannot have me," he says. "Men like you inherit estates. Men like me disappear."
Heesung's composure finally fractures.
"Then do not disappear."
The plea is soft. Bare. Almost desperate.
Jake's voice trembles now. "You will regret this."
"Then let me regret it."