Rey knew she was dying, she could feel it in her soul, but she fought off the fatigue as long as she could for the survival of her child. With her eyes never leaving Ben's, she tried to tell him she loved him one last time, but the words never left her lips as her eyes unwillingly closed. The next time she woke, she felt dazed and sore as pain radiated from her chest and stomach – her vision blurry. Blinking several times to clear her vision, confusion set in as she tried to figure out where she was.
"Rey, thank God! I thought I lost you again."
"Who are you?" she asked, the male voice muted and distorted as if she were underwater.
"Rey?"
As her hearing became clearer with each passing second and her vision came into focus with each blink, Rey frowned at the large figure that stood in front of her.
"Do you not remember who I am?"
The broken way his voice cracked made her heart ache for him as her eyes focused on her husband with a watery smile. "How could I ever forget the love of my life?"
"Thank fuck. You scared me."
"Sorry, I couldn't hear or see clearly," she laughed and immediately winced in pain. "Ow, why does laughing hurt so much? Did I get hit by a truck or something?"
"You don't remember what happened? You were shot in the chest."
The memories before she lost consciousness came rushing back to her as her hands went down to her belly, tears filling her eyes at how flat it felt before a baby cooed – her eyes shifting down to the beautiful babe in Ben's arms.
"Is that Han?"
"Yes, he's our healthy baby boy. No complications and no defects, even though he was a little early. The doctors and nurses call both of you miracles around here."
"Give him to me. I want to hold our son."
"You can't, not yet. You're still recovering from your operations."
"Operations? As in plural?"
"You had..." he cleared his throat as if the words haunted him. "Your heart almost gave out after giving birth, and you had to have emergency heart surgery."
"But how? I wasn't on any list. My condition isn't... wasn't that serious to begin with."
"I got you on a donor list months ago, just in case, then did what I do best and got you to the top of that list. Good thing I did too, or else you wouldn't be here with me, with our son."
Ben turned so Rey could see their child's face as tears of joy fell from her eyes as she smiled, taking in every inch of his beautiful features that were a mixture of him and her.
"He has your eyes, Ben."
"He does, but he has your beauty."
"Well, if he grows up and turns out as handsome as you, he's going to need a stick to keep all the girls away."
"I'm sure the mama bear in you will scare any girl away."
"At least until he's 50. No one will be good enough for our baby boy."
When her smile faltered, Ben worried she was in pain. "What is it? Is the pain too much? Should I call a nurse for you?"
"I'm fine. I'm just sad I can't hold him."
Carefully maneuvering Han over his forearm and hand, Ben brought him closer to Rey, pressing Han's cheek to hers – allowing her to kiss his head – before bringing them face to face.
Rey smiled as she stared into the same striking hazel eyes that matched his father's. "I'm surprised his eye color is already showing. I've read that it takes months to find out the true color of a newborn's eyes."
"We'll just have to see if they change then. Either way, he's perfect."
When Han's tiny mouth opened into a small 'o,' Ben pulled him away to place him back into the hospital provided bassinet beside her bed before taking a seat next to Rey – lifting her hand gently in his.
When Rey took a sudden intake of breath, Ben stood and reached for the button to alert the nurses.
"Don't, I'm fine. I just thought about Kylo Ren. Is he okay? I remember him getting shot too because he was shielding me from the other bullets."
"Dammit, woman," he sighed, then chuckled before retaking his seat with his hand back on top of hers. "Kylo Ren is fine and was released yesterday. He's resting in our home with Armitage and Rose, and he will be staying with us while he recovers."
"Good, I'm glad. Does this mean you've forgiven him for...?"
"We are now brothers as we should have always been because of what he was willing to do for our family and for you. It will take some time to become acclimated to each other, but I think he'll fit in just fine with all of us."
"Oh, I know he will. I'll have to thank him properly when we get home."
Ben smiled as her hand shifted so that she held his hand instead – the corner of her lips pulling downward when she felt what was on it.
"Why is there a bandage wrapped around your hand?"
"I punched a wall the other day."
"Poor wall. I hope it learned its lesson after getting in the way of Don Ben Solo."
The corner of his mouth lifted as a chuckle left him, but it quickly faltered as he gazed into Rey's eyes with remorse.
"Why do you look so sad? What is going through that gorgeous head of yours?" Rey wanted to run her fingers through his silky tresses but reframed from doing so at the reminder of the pain it would cause her.
"I almost... I almost lost you again, Rey. You have no idea just how much I love you and how scared I was of losing you, again. When I saw you bleeding out in my arms as you closed your eyes, your blood coating my hands..."
Ben paused as he brushed his knuckles along her cheeks to wipe the tears that flowed down her face as his heart squeezed painfully as he recalled the events that shook him to his core – never wanting to experience such agonizing pain again.
"I thought I would have to raise Han by myself without you, but I don't think I could have because he would remind me of you and what I lost if you had died. And I hate myself because this all happened because of me. All of this pain you've endured is because of me because you are associated with me. If I were a good man, I would let you go so you could live a happy, normal life away from all this shit with my family. I was selfish and only thought about myself and brought you into my world, and because of that you know the pain of getting shot and being kidnapped against your will... Yet, despite everything you've been through because of my self-centered actions, I just can't seem to let you go. I can't imagine or live without you in my life anymore because I'm a selfish bastard."
Rey smiled despite her tears. "I don't want a good man or any other man, Ben. I want you, and nothing is going to stop me from loving or wanting only you. If you were to send me away, again, I would find my way back to you by any means necessary so please never say you're going to 'let me go' even though you don't truly intend on doing it. I also, can't live without you because I selfishly only want you – good or bad."
Ben lowered his head to kiss the back of her hand before grinning brightly. "Good because you are stuck with me for the rest of our lives."
"Just as you are stuck with me. However..."
Straightening in his chair, a brow lifted as one side of his mouth lifted in amusement. "However?"
"If you did let me go to live a normal life, would you have kept tabs on me?"
"Of course, I would have watched you from the shadows to make sure nothing bad would have befallen you."
"That's not fair! You would have seen me, but I would never have gotten to see you again."
He shrugged as his smile turned into a sly smirk. "You would have never known."
"And if I found another man to be with?"
"I would have put the fear of God in him and scared him away. Hell, I might have even gotten Chewie involved so I can watch a grown man piss himself again."
Rey laughed softly. "So I would have eventually died as a nun?"
"I'd make sure I would have been the last dick to have the pleasure of being inside of you."
"Not fair again! You would have gotten all the pussy you wanted, but I wouldn't get any dick."
"Woman, you would have been the last pussy I'd ever seen, eaten, and fucked. No one would or will ever compare."
"Crazy man."
"Only for you. And your pussy."
Rey cackled, causing her to wince in pain.
"Fuck, sorry. I'll try not to be so devilishly charming and funny. I can get the nurse for you if you want more pain killers."
"No, I'm okay. No more talking about dicks and pussies, at least not until I'm better."
"God, I love you, Rey. So fucking much."
"I love you, too, Ben~"