"You are at once both the quiet and the confusion of my heart."
— Franz Kafka.
"What do you have to offer asides your body, Mariam?"
— Chief Jamal.
xXx
Mariam dressed quickly.
It was almost six a.m. and she didn't want to waste any more time. Not after Jamal's sound warning yesterday.
She slipped her arms through the armholes of the black gown and pulled it down over her head.
It was a knee-length, loose gown, but it didn't do enough to hide her prominent butt and breasts.
It wasn't her fault, she couldn't do anything about that.
He could go hang himself for all she cared.
She left her room and made her way towards the stairs before changing her mind. It wasn't six yet, so he might still be in his room.
With that thought, she backtracked and made her way across the hall towards Jamal's room all the while thinking it was probably a bad idea.
Just before she arrived at his corridor, his door slipped open and he stepped out into the hall.
Their eyes met and he paused, his hand still on the door knob.
"Good morning, Sir."
He didn't return her greeting immediately. Instead, he turned away and pulled the door close before turning back to her.
He was in his full work out gear and he looked as attractive as ever.
"Good morning, assistant."
Mariam bristled but refused to rise to the bait. If he wanted to act immature this morning, she wouldn't indulge him.
Jamal pushed away from the door and just when he was about to move past her, he dropped his work out bag into her hands.
She caught it and sagged from the weight since it was really heavy.
She opened her mouth to complain but he was already striding away from her.
Mariam rushed after him, extremely upset. It wouldn't cost him anything to carry the bag himself.
He knew it was too heavy for her. He knew it.
His long legs took him across the hall in record time, but before she got close to him, he was already jogging down the stairs.
She grunted and readjusted the bag in her hands, trying futilely to even out the weight. She climbed down the stairs and rushed across the hallway after him, but before she got halfway, he was already slipping out the entryway.
He was walking with his hands in his pockets, his movements graceful and poised.
Mariam ran out the entryway, gasping for breath. She hurried across the tall pillars holding up the majestic Palace and then turned towards the back gates.
She sighted Jamal already by the gate, laughing with the guards. He remained there for a few seconds and she rushed to cover the distance between them.
Just before she reached him, he slipped out the back gates again.
Mariam whined, almost to the point of tears. It wasn't so much about the weight of the bag, it was his nonchalance. The way he was acting. He was trying to frustrate her out of the job.
And she didn't know why.
She hurried down the path leading down the center and by this time, Jamal was already a speck in the distance.
He was almost at the training center.
Mariam walked past the level four building and ignored the catcalls from the men.
Normally, she would have engaged them. But now, she was too upset to even care.
She saw Jamal stop in front of the training center and deliberately slowed her movement. He was waiting for her, so she would make sure he waited a long while.
She walked slowly, even though her arms were urging her to walk a little faster so she could get to the center and drop the bag, but she didn't.
She endured the weight.
Her anger mounted when, upon nearing him, Jamal looked really relaxed and patient.
He didn't complain. He just stretched his arm out for the bag.
Mariam flung the bag at him and got even more angry when he caught the bag swiftly and strapped it to his shoulder.
She made to follow him into the center, but he turned to her with a smirk.
"Off limits, assistant," he said with a soft chuckle. "Go wait for me at the recruit center."
That statement pushed Mariam off the edge.
"Go wait for me at the recruit center," she mocked. "No, can do. I'm not a child that you can order around!"
He narrowed his eyes, amusement dancing in his eyes.
"Mariam," he called and she felt all her bravado draining. She held on to it tightly.
"Go wait for me at the recruit center."
"Repeating it won't make me listen." She stepped closer to him, until she was only a breath away.
"You made me carry your bag all the way here and now you want to dismiss me." She hissed and stepped over the threshold leading into the center.
The men were already working through their morning session and they turned to look at her when she walked in.
As she lowered herself onto the closest seat, Jamal walked past her towards the front of the room where his men were.
He was livid.
Mariam was seated halfway across the room from him and somehow, she was all he could think about.
He could feel her eyes on him as he went through the morning routine with the level threes. Every move he made, every where he turned, her eyes went with him.
She was really good at masking it, but he wasn't a fool. He could feel her desire. But it burned. The same way it had burned him eleven years ago.
Mariam has been giving him a lot of trouble and it didn't start today or four months ago.
He would bear the scar forever.
He has had to endure this burden for so long. First, seeing her sporadically when she was working as a servant few months ago.
Now, she was his assistant. He had to see her everyday, bear her being so close to him without saying a word.
The hardest part was the acting. Acting like it wasn't Mariam Ojo.
Mariam Ojo who had turned his life upside down from the very first moment she waltzed into it those years ago.
Abike couldn't understand, not even Murewa would understand. Even Mariam herself wouldn't understand.
It was a cross he had to carry alone and it had been easy when he didn't have her so close.
Now she was here, sitting across the room with a sullen pout on her mouth and all he wanted to do was to go and ask why.
He hated her. He hated her so much. But...
This was years and years of pent up emotion. He didn't know what to do with it.
"Boss, is my form right?" One of his boys asked as he made to lift the weights up.
Jamal stepped close to him and pushed his legs together.
"You have to hold this at an angle that would be comfortable for you, so you don't snap a tendon."
The guy adjusted the weights again before lifting it. Jamal checked the overhead clock and realized he didn't have any more time to spend with the boys.
He was supposed to be at the recruit center in twenty minutes. But before then, he had to collate their names and progress.
He stepped off the dais and walked into his office that was located close to the entryway.
He could feel Mariam's eyes burn into the back of his neck as he walked past and he sighed.
It was going to be hard, he knew it. He had fought this battle once and he had lost.
If he didn't want to lose again, he had to change his tactics. And he had to do it fast. Before anyone even knew about it.
Jamal slammed the door after himself and Mariam jumped in her seat.
He had looked really pissed off. Should she go after him?
"Hey."
She glanced away from the locked door to see a cute guy standing in front of her.
He was in the regular camo work out wear and had a smile on his face.
"My name is Femi."
Mariam smiled at him. "I'm—"
"Mariam," he answered for her. "I know you."
It didn't surprise her. He probably knew someone who knew someone who knew someone she had fucked.
She was very sure that was the reason he was standing in front of her. He probably wanted her too.
She looked him up and down. He was really cute. So, maybe...
"What are you doing here?" Femi sat on the seat beside her. "This place is off-limits for women."
"I'm the chief's assistant," she said with a proud smile.
"Oh." Femi licked his lips. "Is that like an official job or something?"
"Yes," Mariam snapped. "It is official."
Femi smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry. I didn't realise it was—"
Mariam heard the door open because, although she was talking to Femi, she was still paying attention to it. She immediately turned around to see Jamal standing in front of his office, staring at her and Femi.
She hurried to her feet and Femi stood with her.
"Go back to work, Femi," Jamal said calmly and when Femi disappeared, his eyes found hers again.
Was he mad because she had refused to go wait at the recruit center earlier?
"Get the work out bag and then meet me at the recruit center in a minute." He stormed out of the training centre .
Mariam quickly hurried to the front of the room to pick up the bag.
Femi tried to talk to her as she hurried back outside but Mariam didn't spare him a second.
Jamal was standing in front of the building when she arrived, but unlike the last time, he wasn't smiling.
He jerked the bag out of her hands as soon as she was within arms reach.
"Careful." She frowned. "What the fuck is—?"
"Watch you mouth, girl." He warned in a low voice, amusement suddenly seeping into his eyes.
She realized she liked him better when he was mad. This smiling Jamal was dangerous, especially when he was just angry a few seconds ago.
She kept mute and endured his burning gaze on her for another moment. Then he turned and marched into the centre. She followed him quietly.
The place was empty, and as she walked behind him to the front of the room, she cringed at the sounds of their footsteps sounding overly loud in the serene space.
She stopped walking when he sat on the dais and she set his beg beside him.
His eyes were on her again and she was baffled by how he would just unashamedly stare. Even when he knew she was aware he was staring. He just didn't care.
"Staring is rude." She folded her arms, staring back at him.
He laughed then and it was beautiful. It had to be the first, real laugh she had gotten out of him.
It made her feel really giddy inside.
"You stare at me all the time." He shook his head. "Or that doesn't count because you think I'm unaware when you do it?"
"I don't stare at you all the time!" Mariam fired.
"Oh." He laughed again. "Only sometimes then?"
Mariam rolled her eyes. "It's so fucking—"
"Don't cuss, Mariam." He warned in that low, dangerous voice that made her afraid.
"Why?" She countered. "Because I'm female? You males do it all the time and nobody says anything.
He shook his head at her. "Damn, you are so disobedient."
"Disobedient?" Mariam gaped. "I've done everything you've asked of me, since I started working yesterday, so I don't get what you mean."
"Everything I've asked?" He pushed himself to his feet and Mariam felt deliciously threatened. She didn't stand back, however. She remained rooted to her position.
"What about your dressing? I said dress professionally. Or did I not mention it?"
She looked down at her loose, knee length gown and looked back up at him.
"This is professional," she spouted. "It's long and it's loose."
She was even more annoyed by the fact that their exchange didn't rile him up one bit.
He maintained his calm, amused expression.
"This is professional," she said again. "It's not my fault my body is too curvy to be hidden."
"Ah." His lips parted slightly and he smiled again. "Your body." He slipped his hands into his pocket; his favorite thing to do.
"What do you have to offer asides your body, Mariam?"
The question shocked her to the point of tears and she turned away from him, marching to one of the seats scattered across the room.
He had asked the question with such calm, like he was very sure she really had nothing to offer.
Over the next few minutes, Mariam had still not gotten over his question.
The recruits had come in and were currently training with Jamal, but Mariam just sat there, angry and...hurt.
She looked down at her dress again. To be honest, it was a decent dress. It didn't hug her body or anything, but her butt was too round and prominent to be hidden by the flowing material, her breasts were huge, it just couldn't be hidden. No matter the cloth she wore, it almost always came off as sexy.
It wasn't her fault.
All her life, because of her body, she had always been the centre of attraction. She had always been sexualises.
At twelve, men were already falling over themselves at the sight of her and it just got worse -or better- depending on how you looked at it, as she grew older.
The men always wanted her and they would do anything she requested for, just to have her.
She had found it genuinely interesting and over the years, she honed her skill to the point where she was hundred percent sure that there was no man she couldn't seduce.
If she couldn't disarm him with her cloths on, she would definitely do it with her cloths off. But men were fickle, ninety nine point nine percent of the time she didn't need to take her cloths off.
"What do you have to offer asides your body, Mariam?"
For someone who had nothing, her body had helped her get whatever she wanted whenever she wanted it, so, no, she didn't have anything to offer asides her body, because her body was all she needed.
She stood from the chair and began her hasty walk out of the center.
She felt eyes on the back of her neck and turned sharply to see Jamal's attention on his boys. She had thought he was the one watching her, but he was not even paying her any attention.
Bastard.
When she first stood up, all her intention was to return to the Palace. But now, she was feeling the urge again.
That burning need she always felt before she had sex with any man. The burning need to prove herself, to kill the fear that she wasn't needed.
She was needed. She mattered. But she had to make sure though.
Her legs took her to the level fours building. From her long time friendship with Khalid and the rest of the boys, she already knew their schedule. They hardly ever trained in the morning, so she was sure they would all be present.
She wanted Bola. She was already bored with Khalid, and Sadiq was too dry, he presented no challenge to her.
The building was already bubbling by the time she reached it, as many of the soldiers were already awake and ready to start the day.
She walked into the building without greeting anyone, letting the jiggle of her butt do the talking for her.
It was very effective, because the loud mouthed group of men standing outside went completely silent as she walked past.
Murewa had canceled palace maids from coming into the center during his reign, but Jamal had scratched it out when he became Balogun, so she met some other females on the way, but didn't stop to say hi.
She took the left turn when she arrived up the stairs and walked down the busy hall towards the boys' room.
She pushed the door open to see Bola sitting on the couch, reading a book.
He was wearing only a shorts and thankfully, he was alone.
He looked up when she shut the door and worry clouded his eyes immediately. It had been a while since she came in here.
"Mariam." He dropped the book. "Is everything alright?"
She didn't respond, instead, she walked confidently towards him and kissed his mouth.
He remained lax for a second before returning the kiss with equal fervor.
"Mariam," he held her arm in a bid to stop her. "Mariam..."
She took his arm and held his open palm to her breast, rubbing gently and then folding his fingers over them. He groaned loudly and she knew it was over for him. He couldn't resist her now.
He kissed her with renewed passion, his fingers rolling down the zipper of her dress.
All through, Mariam remained in control. She dominated him, giving him a choice and then viciously taking it away from him.
Even when she sank onto his hardened shaft, she was only fighting for her own release.
She didn't have anything to offer except this.
He groaned beneath her, holding her waist in a futile attempt to control her ride, but she wasn't having none of it.
She held her breast, riding up and then down. He found his release before hers and she just let him have it.
She climbed down from his body and shimmied into her gown.
"Mariam," he grunted. "Fuck, that was..."
"Good," Mariam answered for him. "I'd see you tomorrow?"
"You're leaving?" He sat up. "Now?"
"Yes." She smiled smugly and waved.
She walked briskly to the door, ignoring his calls.
The hallway was even busier than usual and she walked slowly through the scattered hurdles of soldiers.
"Hey." Someone called sharply and she had a feeling she was the one being called.
She turned to see a guy standing off to the side, in front of a locked door. He was really cute.
"Hi." She smiled back, looking him up and down.
"I'm Moyo."
"I'm—"
"Mariam," he answered with a grin. "I know who you are."
"My reputation has preceded me." She laughed. "What do you want, Moyo?"
"Come in with me." He pushed his door open and stood by the doorway. She could see the uncertainty in his eyes, he was hoping she came in; so she shrugged and stepped through the open door.
Before she could even turn to look at him, he put his arms around her and pressed her against the locked door.
"Boy, unhand me!" She pushed his chest angrily and he staggered back, a well of shock in his expressive eyes.
"Don't ever try that with me again, do you hear me? I'm not a sack of potatoes."
"I'm sorry." He raised his arms. He looked sorry.
"If you want me, it's going to be on my terms."
"Yes, yes." He nodded eagerly.
"Good." She sashayed towards him. "I don't have time, let's make this quick."
When she slipped out of Moyo's room minutes later, she found that she was still not satisfied. Her sour mood had not lifted.
It wasn't Moyo's fault, he was...great.
Better than Bola, in fact.
He had a dominant tendency, but after another warning, he let her have her way.
She was definitely trying him next time.
An image of Jamal floated into her subconscious and she cursed. He was the origin of her anger and now she was going back to him. He was definitely still going to get on her nerves because she had been gone a long while and he was sure to complain about it.
She slipped out of the level fours building and turned in the direction of the training centre. She walked towards the building, her steps light even when she was feeling anything but.
Suddenly, Jamal materialized in front of her. At first, she thought she was going crazy and that he was a figment of her imagination, but he looked pretty real as he stepped over the threshold leading out of the counter with a wide smile on his face.
The smile on his face was so beautiful and her next instinct was to smile too, until she saw a lady come out after him.
It was Tinuke.
She froze.
Jamal was laughing. He had his hands in his pocket, his head bent towards Tinuke as she whispered something into his ear.
He looked genuinely amused, not the fake and menacing smile he always had on whenever he was talking to her.
He laughed again, throwing his head back and the the gentle breeze carried the melodious sound to her. It spurred her anger and she marched towards them, with intentions to put an end to whatever rubbish they were doing.
They heard her approach and looked up.
Jamal rocked back on his heels, his hands still in his pockets. He looked her up and down with an expression of total resignation.
She stopped a few feet away from them and smiled widely.
"Good afternoon."
"Good afternoon," Tinuke answered politely, her face clouded with confusion. She looked back to Jamal, but he wasn't looking at her. His eyes were on Mariam's.
"Jay, who's this?"
Jay?!
Mariam got even angrier.
"I'm his assistant," Mariam answered for him. "Who are you?"
Tinuke struggled to find an answer to the question.
Exactly!
Cheap prostitute! Mariam looked her up and down. Sleeping around with Jamal. And for what? Nothing!
What a bitch!
"Uh, I'd leave now," Tinuke touched Jamal's arm briefly to bring his attention back to her.
"I'd see you tomorrow."
Jamal smiled at her and she turned gracefully to walk away from the centre.
"Bye." Mariam called after her, but she didn't acknowledge it.
They both watched her quietly as she turned down the path.
She turned back to Jamal to see he was already looking at her.
"What?" She snapped.
"I have lunch with Murewa now, so I'm giving you the rest of the day off," he said and turned away from her.
Mariam peeked into the centre to see the men were still inside, training.
She looked behind her to see Jamal was already halfway down the path towards the back gates.
She sighed and started to walk slowly towards the Palace, trying to discern what could be wrong with him.
He seemed really laid back. He was always laid back, because he only spoke to her when necessary and all that, but this time, he seemed more laid back than usual.
She was complaining of the ever present amusement in his eyes and his threatening smiles, but this time, he wasn't smiling at all.
He was just blank.
Had he seen her with Bola? No, he couldn't have. She met Bola up the stairs and even left him up there too. Same with the new guy, Moyo.
Or had he seen her leave the building? Nah. It couldn't be.
Ugh, she wasn't even sure anymore.
Inside the Palace, she climbed up the stairs and turned down the corridor towards her room. She met Abike waiting in front of her door.
She was in one of her usual loose flowery gowns that hid her baby bump.
"Abi..." Mariam called and Abike looked up. "Is everything okay?"
"Mariam, I've been waiting for you." Abike reached out to hug her.
"Didn't you work today? I saw Jamal some minutes ago and asked of you. He said he hasn't seen you."
Mariam sighed and smiled down at Abike.
"I have the rest of the day off." She avoided Abike's question.
"That's good. Let's go have lunch."
Mariam groaned and let Abike pull her towards the last flight of stairs leading up to the Royal floor.
"I am tired, Abi. I'll have lunch in my room."
"No, please. Let's go up. Lunch has been served."
Mariam didn't want to complain anymore. She wanted to avoid the lunch because she knew Jamal would be there, but Abike would not understand. No one would.
The rift between her and Jamal was unexplainable as it was personal. She didn't know why he hated her. She could only speak for herself.
At first, she hated him because he hated her. Then she began to notice other things too that made her hate him even more.
The way he was so jovially emotionless. He was always smiling and laughing, but it was all a front.
He smiled all the time; it was annoying and so fake.
And he was so good looking and sexy, it was such a waste on him. He didn't know how to use what he was blessed with.
They were already on the top floor and Mariam let Abike pull her to the door. The guards pushed the door open before they got to it and Mariam stepped through obediently.
Jamal and Murewa were at the table, laughing and talking to each other.
It was the only time Jamal ever laughed like that. Whenever he was with Murewa.
She remembered the way he laughed just less than an hour ago with Tinuke and she sighed again.
She wasn't even angry. She was just...sad. And she didn't know why.
She walked towards the table with Abike and the men looked up as they approached.
Jamal was visibly upset, it was almost funny.
She would have laughed if it wasn't to her detriment.
"I thought you said the lunch was just us," Jamal said to Abike as she sat.
"Yes. Just us. The four of us. Is anyone else present?"
"Yes," Jamal answered without missing a beat. "She is present." He nodded at Mariam.
"She is already in my face at work, I just want to have lunch without her being there too."
Mariam swallowed down her hurt.
"Act your age, mister," she snarled. "You are always complaining about me, but that's all you can do. You can't do shit about it."
"Mariam..." Abike touched her wrist. "Just eat. Okay?"
"Sure." Mariam nodded, picking up her spoon.
From the corner of her eyes, she could still see Jamal staring at her.
She looked up and met his eyes, her fingers tightening around the metallic handle of the spoon.
She felt Abike's touch on her wrist again and broke eye contact.
"Mariam," Abike whispered worriedly. "I don't understand the two of you. What's going on?"
"He always thinks he is the shit." Mariam snorted, loud enough for him to hear. "I don't have a problem with him, he has a problem with me. He is probably just horny."
They both jumped as Jamal slammed his spoon on the table and pushed back his chair.
"Jamal, where are you going?" Murewa asked, dropping his spoon too.
"Off to the center. I have a lot of work."
"Jamal, please you should eat," Abike begged. "You are—"
"It's fine, mommy." He smiled at Abike, then turned to her.
"Get on your feet." He growled at her.
Mariam's mouth snapped open. "What?"
"Are you deaf? Get on your feet."
"Mariam, go." Abike pushed and Mariam stood. She stared longingly at the plate of food in front of her before turning away finally to follow Jamal out of the room.
Jamal slipped through the open door and Mariam followed.
He walked a few feet away from the huddle of guards and finally halted, with his back to her.
She could feel the anger rolling off him in waves.
Mariam walked slowly, unsure of why he was standing so still, or what to expect.
She stopped directly behind him and as soon as she stopped walking, he whirled to face her.
In a flash, she was backed against the wall, her back smarting from the slight pain.
He had his elbow on her neck, his other arm against the wall beside her head.
His head was bent so close to hers, his eyes totally devoid of any trace of amusement.
Yes.
This was the Jamal she loved to see. The real Jamal with emotions. She could totally relate to this one.
"Mariam..." his breath fanned her neck and she moaned involuntarily.
God, he was sexy.
"Mariam..." he called again, his voice deeper this time. "Don't test me."
Now that he said it, it was all she wanted to do. Test him.
Maybe if she did, he would finally break and then become accessible to her.
She wanted him. Badly.
The thought made her want to moan again and this time, she caught her lips between her teeth to stop herself.
His eyes trailed down her face to her lips and for a moment, she thought he was going to kiss her. They remained frozen.
His hold on her loosened, but he remained on her for another split moment before he pushed away.
He marched down the hall and Mariam could finally breath in peace.
She became aware of her surroundings, of the guards who were by the door a few distance away, pretending not to watch them.
Jamal could have pulled off her panties here and she would have let him.
God, she had no control. He was too potent.
She quickly hurried after him. She caught up with him just before he slipped out the back gates and she followed him, leaving a few distance between them.
She followed him down the path, past the buildings and into the recruit center.
He entered his office and slammed the door close.
Mariam heard the lock click and groaned. What exactly was his problem?
She remained outside the door for minutes, standing. When it was clear he wouldn't come out anytime soon, she found a chair close by and sat.
She sat there though different stages of recruits training and even when they left many hours later, she was still sitting there.
Frustrated, she stood and marched to the door. There, she didn't know what to do.
Should she knock? Or should she just go in?
She opted for the first option. She didn't want any problems.
She knocked once. Twice. He didn't respond.
She held the knob and twisted, it was locked.
"Ugh!" She kicked the door in frustration.
"Are you good?" Came the quiet inquiry.
He sounded really calm and she wanted to scream with how he always managed to stay composed after riling her up so bad.
"I'm good," she snapped.
"Good."
"Good?" She kicked the door again, ignoring the sharp jab of pain that shot up her foot.
"Why did you lock me out?"
He didn't respond.
"Jamal..." she took a deep breath. "Answer me or I'll leave right now."
"Please leave, Mariam," he said softly. "I'd see you tomorrow."
"I'm not leaving!" Mariam snapped back.
"Then have a seat. I'd be out as soon as I am done."
Mariam went back to her seat. It was four o' lock.
When the clock hit six, she stood and walked out of the center.
Angry, was an understatement. She was furious. Livid.
It was obvious he had absolutely no respect for her and she was over it.
She marched to her room and slammed the door behind her.
She had to change her tactics. Easy wasn't working with him. He was hell bent on frustrating her and it was time she showed him that Mariam Ojo was no push over.
xXx
❤️
Thank you for reading.