I gave a vote, this won. ChaosDancer12 co-wrote this with me. We couldn't resist
'I died?' was the shocked thought.
'But I'm Freaking Death... how?' Reaper thought.
Reaper gathered his thoughts, trying to figure out just what the Funk was happening.
"YOLO!" a voice screamed somewhere.
"Aww... what a good boy you are Harry, mommy's little boy," a female voice said, a human female walked into view and picked him up.
Wait... pick him up!
Stars darn it, he'd reincarnated.
OoOoO
Reaper quickly discovered he had no control over his own body, he was also the only soul in said body.
He knew that upon reincarnation a souls memories were wiped, as it was fresh start. He guessed he'd splintered into two mind sets due to the fact Death could never forgot.
Then one day an ugly human came in, his soul splintered like it was shredded.
Geno had more soul then this guy.
What did his new parents call this guy, Wallmart, molypart... no not that. Was it moldparts... oh yeah it was Voldemort! Flee from Death or some crap, well Mr Flee say hello to babified Death,
"Ma ma!" Baby Harry cried, as his mother fell to some Death curse.
'Briggght one here...' Reaper thought, as the human tried to use a death curse on.. well Death.
Green curse headed there way.
Reaper shrugged mentally, and whacked it away like he'd once done to one of Horror's Cleavers.
The house exploded, the curse exploding hitting baby Harry's forehead leaving a bleeding gash.
'Sorry bud, only one soul allowed here' Reaper scowled as a piece of moldys soul tried to invade them.
The corrupted soul shard screamed as Reaper hit it with true Death magic.
"Harry!" a frantic voice called.
Sleep claimed the exhausted Death god.
He woke to the scream of a horse women.. no made fun of horses.
This... did not look promising.
OoOoO
Harry Potter the smallest resident of the house was strange, his only friend an imaginary one he called Mr. Reaper. The child liked wearing black, and if it wasn't for how bright a personality people would have called him Emo.
Petunia had long ago giving up on giving him yard chores, after there were only so many times one could take there prize roses dying. It was like her freak of a nephew, had anti growing Karma.
The Dursleys did there best to pretend the child didn't exist, they'd tried to bring him down and punish him in the past but every time they'd have nightmares for months of Death chasing them if they tried.
Vernon would never touch the brat again either, the one time he'd giving the brat a beating he'd woken with grey hair and the brat healthy again.
They also had a feeling Mr. Reaper was more real then they ever wanted.
Harry Potter looked up and blinked, and own was flying above him and squawked in fear. It dropped its burden and fled.
"Hogwarts huh..." Harry sad reading the letter with his name.
The school would be quite bewildered when a raven returned a yes reply.
OoOoO
It was a good thing Reaper remembered the wizard area, from the few time the Potters had brought the infant Harry there. As neither wanted to ask there... relatives for directions, and neither had plans of going back to that place.
Reaper grinned in there mind, when the Goblins gave them the best business ever. They recognized Death even in this new form.
Harry the only one able to hear Reaper, followed Reapers instructions to recall his keys and lock everyone but himself. Then smirking, Harry demanded the Goblins to go over all hsi bank record since his parents died.
After all, no one should have touched it since they died.
The goblins sighed in relief when Deaths mortal self left the building.
OoOoO
"A... pet," Harry said nibbling a bit on his bottom lip.
(A pet would be good for you) Reaper told his human self, knowing the kid was lonely for friends.
"But, what if they don't like me?" Harry asked worriedly.
(Who wouldn't like you kid, look let hit Eeylops Owl Emporium first to see what they have) Reaper told him, the tiny eleven year old nodded messy black tumbling around his head.
The bell jingled as he entered.
Owls.. owls everywhere.
Grey ones.
Blue ones.
Was that a blue one?
Okay.. a rainbow one... wizards were weird.
"Hoot," an owl said peering at him with vivid eyes, a plumage of white and bits of black.
"Oh!" Harry said in awe "Beautiful."
The owl looked at him, and it screeched.
(REAPER!)
(Oh wow! i know that soul) Reaper said gleefully.
"She's so pretty," Harry said reading the owls gender on the cage.
(I'M GOING TO KILL YOU FOR THIS!)
(Uh huh Mrs. Cross and X, any clue how we reincarnated?) Reaper asked curious.
"Oh, your interested in this lovely lady?" an employee asked Harry, the orphan blushed a bit and nodded.
"Yes," he finally said.
"Right, lets head to the main desk and go over to make sure you have supplies for your new pet," the employee told him.
(I DON'T KNOW, I WOKE UP AS A FEMALE OWL, AND X WON'T STOP LAUGHING AT ME!)
(Meh, at least your in charge of your own body. Reincarnation gave me a second personality, Harry here. Cute kid) Reaper responded.
(I KNOW...)
(Wait... did Harry just agree to buy you!) Reaper said, realizing they'd missed the talk with the shopkeeper as they talked with Cross.
(..... SHALL WE HAVE A TEMPORARY TRUCE, WE'RE STUCK HERE, AND WE'LL BE SAFER IF WE STICK TOGETHER...)
(Might as well) Reaper said.
And thus Cross was named Hedwig by Harry.
And labelled Crosswig by Reaper.
By the way, Cross only liked Harry.
OoOoO
And thus began the great Hogwarts adventure.
Or as Reaper called it, adventure books for children.
First years was a big ol' ruby Reaper gleefully enjoyed it being destroyed, no one escaped Death. By hey, at least they got a cool invisibly cloak out of it.
That summer they never went home, just found a cheap rental in the magical world and every year after
Second year was Snakes.
Well Snake.
Reaper also managed to somehow shove the snake carcass in his inventory, sadly he could only place things in not out right now. If he ever got his original body back, he was making some new boots.
Third year, a scruffy wolf boy and there dog boy.
Reaper was not impressed by dog boy, apparently Harry's godfather. Yet he didn't say anything, as he knew Harry wanted family.
Cross would often make sarcastic remarks about the Headmaster, and she had fun leaving owl droppings on his desk, and ruining some of his plans for Harry... And alerting Reaper about any potential potions that the old goat wanted to put in Harry's food...
Forth year a blasted tournament, no one knew why the 4th parchment blew up before it could be read. Reaper had used a brief burst of Death magic to break the magic trying to claw into them from the item, he was Death not stupid.
He wasn't playing around.
Still didn't stop Harry from getting kidnapped, and used to resurrect... Moldywarts?
Meh.. he'd remember one of these days.
Then came fifth yeah, Umbitch the pepto bismol clothes idiot.
If Reaper ever got a chance, she would soon learn what a true Death curse tasted like.
Then... the Dreams, and the so called lessons to protect his mind.
Snape was gonna burn in Hell one day.
Reaper could not block them all, as his self was divided in two so was incomplete.
Then..
Dog boy was dead.
Harry trashed Dumbledicks office nicely.
Cross wasn't happy. She liked the dog boy... And she started encouraging the cats of the castle to destroy Dumbledick's robes.
Reaper looked the other way, when he caught Cross crackling like Nightmare, as she directed the cats to destroy the robes.
Sixth years went to hell, Draco poo poo was doing something they couldn't discover but Reaper could smell the corruption on there soul. Malfoy was going to be taking the elevator downwards at death no matter what, Dumblebee was avoiding Harry and Snape seriously needed a breath mint.
Then Dumbles took a leave of his senses and avoided common sense like the plague and drank poison like no tomorrow, to get at a fake item.
Had no one told magical s tongs existed?
Cross looked at Reaper... These Magicals needed some common scene...
And look an invasion, Draco opened a door for child murdering pedophiles with a blood fetish for incest.
Funk this, Reaper wanted his Geno already.
And then Dimwitdore did suicide by murder.
What was wrong with this place?
No really?
Cross agreed with Reaper...
Wait... Funk this... That meant that Fresh was here?!
"YOLO!" screamed a voice far far away.
Reaper ignored it with long practice.
He did not want to know.
And Cross didn't want to know...
She missed being a guy... And he missed Nightmare..
And his Gang... And he missed Epic too...
Then seventh year, both Harry and Reaper both facepalmed at the polyjuice escape idea.
They could... you know, just take a cab.
The Death munchers were too stupid to track that.
But no... they had to fly.
Then.. Hedwig died.
(No.. Crosswig! Who else will i make jokes someone will understand!) Reaper cried.
(I'LL TELL GENO WHERE YOU ARE!) That was the last thing that Cross said, before he was punted back into his original body.
What followed was a ruined wedding.
Escapes across the UK.
Death snatchers... wow, they were stupid.
No one wanted to catch death.
Kidnapping.
Soul pieces, and wow was he glad he got rid of that splinter years ago once Harry learned on what the items were.
Then... Harry walked to his Death.
(This is stupid, I'm already here you can't walk to me elsewhere) Reaper protested.
A flash of green.
Harry Fell.
Reaper rose.
Flee from Death meet Death.
Death always won.
And it didn't help that Reaper really wanted to see his Geno again.
OoOoO
He was tired.
But Reaper was often tired, but in the past it was due to his never ending job his only solace was Geno. The mind that was solely Harry was gone, destroyed in the final battle the memories only remained.
This body was his now, and strangely he missed Harry even though he was Harry.
But before he went home... He would do his best to tie up any loose ends...
He burned with the want to go home, to tease Geno and drink coffee by the bucket load as he reaped the souls of the multiverse.
He couldn't remain here, where everyone wanted him to be something he wasn't and Ginny the stalker tried to bed him.
Eww...
He missed Crosswig... The owl would get the cats to attack Ginny when she got bored of destroying Dumbassdore's robes...
Reaper emptied the vaults he owned, made sure Wolf boys kid was taken care.
Why was he there godparent, Harry spoke to Tonks like once and Remus only in class?
Then he followed the only true scene of death magic in this place.
The Death chamber, where Sirius fell.
Stars darn it...
He hoped this worked.
With that Harry Potter was last scene entering a door that went only one way.
OoOoO
The first thing that Cross did, when he woke up, was to inform Geno of Reaper's location.
Geno wasn't happy.
The next thing that he did, was to create a new army of cats, and set them loose on the Stars.
Cross crackled as Ink was buried under his army of cats, after Cross had dumped Catnip on the Stars.
Dream had run away, screaming... Who knew that he had a fear of tigers?
Blue just pet the cats... He had avoided the Catnip, and he was watching his fellow Stars being chased, or buried, under cats.
OoOoO
Cross laughed as he was thrown into the middle of a pile of pillows, by Nightmare, and the rest of the Bad Sans jumped on him.
He was home.
He sighed as they wrapped their arms around him, and he pulled Nightmare into a cuddle.
He was home.
OoOoO
"Wake up lazy."
"Geno....?" Reaper said, slowly waking. A bit confused, as last he remembered was walking.
A familiar face met his own, the singular eye filled with determination. With shaking hands he reached up and caressed his mates face, feeling relief when he saw he had familiar bony hands.
"Reaper, your not allowed to vanish like that again," Geno told him.
"Never again, I promise," Reaper promised, and he meant it.
"When you and Cross were knocked in the void by Ink by accident we thought you gone, the fact we remembered you both gave us hope," Geno said softly, voice trembling.
"I'm sorry love," Reaper whispered.
So that was how he'd... died.
Gently he pushed up and kissed Geno.
All was right again.
END