When I got up in the morning and excitedly went to the kitchen, I expected Draco to be there. But when I walked out of my room the only people that were there were Hermione, Matthews, and Collins. The smile on my face instantly fell in disappointment and Matthews raised his eyebrow at me.
"Disappointed to see us?" he asked and Collins laughs.
"Don't worry, Y/N, we'll be out of your hair as soon as the Billingsgate issue is solved... although I'd hope you'd still allow us to visit sometimes," Collins adds and I manage to push aside my disappointment of not seeing Draco this morning. Of course, I couldn't expect him to be here every morning, he has his own work to attend to.
"I'm happy to see you two, and of course I'd want you to still visit," I tell them, smiling, and sit next to Hermione. She places a hand on mine and I look over.
"How are you feeling? About tomorrow?" she asks with a gentle smile and the anxiety hits me. The confrontation really came much sooner than I thought it would. A few days passed so quickly.
"Nervous," I admit, "But I know you'll be there if I need help." I squeeze Hermione's hand and she smiles.
"Do you think Billingsgate would confess anything to you?" Matthews asks me and I shrug.
"He might. If he thinks I'm alone he would probably think he can overpower me and tell me everything. Well... we've seen how many deaths he's responsible for, I don't think he's good at keeping things hidden," I say.
"It's going to work," Collins speaks up and I smile at him.
"I know."
After coffee and a heavy conversation about what I must do tomorrow, I go back to my room, needing to lie down and think. When I'm with Draco, the danger of it all fades away and it's easy to put on a brave face for him. I only think of what awaits me after the confrontation, a normal relationship with Draco. Now that he's not here, I'm forced to focus on the details. I would be, for a short amount of time, alone with a man who's killed many. Obviously, the Billingsgate I know is just a mask of what he's capable of. Would he kill me instantly if he thought I was suspicious of him? Would he even give the others the chance to help me?
I push the thoughts from my mind and try to relax. Harry, Ron, Hermione, Matthews, and Collins will all be there. I'm capable of defending myself as well. Him against all of us, he stands no chance. I smile to myself but my short moment of comfort is interrupted by a light tap on my window. An owl. I get up and open the window. It must be Draco explaining why he couldn't see me today and I blush at the thought of him coming back tonight. I take the letter from the owl and open it.
Dear Y/N,
I've thought a lot about your letter and have decided, somewhat last minute, that I would prefer to meet as soon as possible. I would like to see you today rather than tomorrow. It turns out that tomorrow feels like too long from now.
Billingsgate
I stare at the letter in shock. I try to think of a response, maybe an excuse as to why I can't see him today, so the plan doesn't fall apart. But, out of the corner of my eye, I see a small sparkle, like metal glinting in sunlight. I look back up at the owl and see it, clutched in its foot. I reach my hand out and it willingly drops the object in my hand. My mouth falls open in utter terror.
In my hand is his ring. Draco's ring. I can even see myself in it, from the charm he used to pair with mine. I look back at the letter in panic and see that, already, the words have started to morph into a new message. The letters appearing and rearranging across the page.
Department of Mysteries. Death Chamber.
Don't tell anyone you're leaving, don't tell anyone where you are going. Come alone. Or Malfoy will be the one to suffer the consequences.
Be here in, say, 5 minutes, unless you want Malfoy to take a trip through the Veil.
I so look forward to seeing you.
Billingsgate
After a moment, the paper turns blank, erasing the evidence of his letter to me. Five minutes is all I have. Five minutes since he sent the letter or five minutes from when I read it? My heart feels like it's about to burst through my chest. I take Draco's ring and place it on the desk. It's the only thing I have time for, the only clue I could possibly leave, and I hope someone will find it in time. I clutch my ring in my hand and disapparate. I'm coming Draco.
I appear in the Death Chamber and I immediately feel the coldness of the room, a coldness that goes to the bone. It's dark but I can still make out everyone here. Billingsgate, Draco, and a disheartening amount of other wizards and witches that must be his supporters.
"No, Y/N! Why?" I hear Draco yell. He's being held directly in front of the Veil and his proximity is enough to give me a heart attack. I don't do anything that would make them push him in, I don't do anything at all.
"Expelliarmus!" Billingsgate yells although I was holding my wand limply to my side. My wand falls somewhere far, I can hear it hit the cold stone and echo off the walls, but I don't take my eyes off of Draco. He's standing there, looking frantic. It's a look I recognize from when we were attacked all that time ago. For a short moment, I realize that there must be some kind of irony in the fact that he had blamed himself for putting me in the way of danger then, though it must be my fault that he's here now. Just a step away from death.
"That was hardly necessary," I say to Billingsgate, defiantly. I knew the odds were stacked against me now, but I somehow subconsciously decided that whatever happens would happen with me standing tall and unafraid. Billingsgate flashes his teeth in a sick smile.
"Just a precaution," he says, and one of his followers snickers behind him. I turn and finally take them all in. I recognized a few, especially those who had criticized my relationship with Draco because I was a muggleborn. But as I looked closely at most I realized a glazed look in their eye. While some laughed, the others stayed completely still, as if under a trance. Imperius curse, perhaps. Others looked truly frightened and I realize they must be the muggleborns Billingsgate had coerced into joining him. Those bound by an unbreakable vow. Draco struggles against those who are holding him and I flinch when they push him closer to the entrance of the Veil as a threat. I try to make him look into my eyes, to understand what I want to tell him. It's okay.
"Why, Billingsgate? What do you gain from this?" I ask and he chuckled, causing another wave of snickers from his followers.
"I thought you'd never ask," he says before flicking his wand in my direction. I brace myself for a curse or a hex but nothing comes except the sound of wood scraping against the floor. I don't even have time to turn around and look before my legs are hit from behind, forcing me to fall back into a chair. Another flick of Billingsgate's wand and thick ropes appear, fastening me to the chair. I try to struggle against them but they don't budge, I'm stuck here.
"I guess it all starts with the end of Voldemort," Billingsgate starts, sauntering towards me, "Don't mistake me for a Death Eater, Y/N, I never was one. Obviously, I didn't resist Voldemort's control for self-preservation purposes, but I didn't completely agree with him." He pauses and looks at me as if trying to measure my shock. I pleased myself by keeping a straight face but he continued anyway.
"His motivation was too...messy. Too selfish. He wanted power all for himself and that's not what I want, truly. His hatred for muggles and muggleborns was fueled by his hatred for his muggle father. To this day it boggles my mind that many prominent pureblood families followed behind him, a half-blood who advocated for pureblood supremacy," he pauses when one of his followers laughs aloud and he shoots them a glare, causing the laughter to immediately cut off.
"That's where my and Voldemort's differences lie, Y/N. I don't want to kill all muggleborns, I don't want to imprison them, or hurt them. In fact, I even have some here," he gestures into the crowd and I notice a few look down in fear.
"But you have killed! You've killed innocent people!" I scream and he frowns, stepping forward to hit the side of my face with the back of his hand. My head is forced to turn to the side and I feel the stringing run across my whole face.
"Don't touch her!" Draco yells but Billingsgate ignores him, smiling.
"No need to be hasty! I'll get to that part later," Billingsgate tells me and a spark of hope flows through me. The longer this takes, the better our chances of being found.
"The natural order is a pyramid. Purebloods on top, followed by half-bloods, then muggleborns at the bottom," I grimace at his description and he laughs, "And believe me it's not personal. I find many muggleborns... competent. But there is a reason that the purest of pureblood families are called the sacred. Malfoy here would know, wouldn't you boy?" Billingsgate turns back to look at Draco and is met with the most furious glare I've ever seen.
"Purebloods have generations of magic flowing through their veins. They should be the leaders of the Wizarding World. Our own Minister is a pureblood so we're not so far off now. Half-bloods and muggleborns should always be lower workers. Kind of how I'm the Head of the committee and you're just another member," he grins at me and I look away, disgusted, "The problem I have today is that muggleborns are too confident and entitled! They've forgotten their place! You were the perfect example. You, a muggleborn girl fresh from Hogwarts, just waltzes into the committee expecting respect. I bet you've even considered that you could take my place. What a joke." He laughs and as if on cue his followers laugh along with him.
"You think you've done a better job than me simply because you're a pureblood? The Committee respects me and trusts me more than they do you! What does that tell you about pureblood supremacy?" I spit and Billingsgate raises his hand again. I stare straight up at him and he seems to restrain himself, then chuckles.
"I really did despise you when I first met you. Hated you even," he shakes his head as if he's looking back at a fond memory and my stomach turns, "From then on I realized that some order needed to be put into place, except I had no idea how to do it! My first idea was a disaster and it almost ruined me! A few months ago I decided to talk to a nice quiet family about their baby boy who did strange things around the house. I told them everything about our world and about magic and about the natural order. I offered to take the child and raise him so he can fill his role as a muggleborn. Unfortunately, they didn't take to my idea about their baby being at the bottom of the social hierarchy," he lets out a long sigh, looking down sadly for a moment before looking back up at me, "That's why they had to die." I suddenly feel sick at his confession, at his mock guilt over what he's done.
"A baby. You killed a baby and their parents, Billingsgate. They were innocent," I whisper and Billingsgate takes the opportunity to crouch in front of me and extend his hand, caressing the side of my face.
"No, no Y/N, you misunderstand. I had no other choice. I couldn't go through the trouble of obliviating them unless there might be loose ends and if they would have spoken about our encounter I would have been found out. I couldn't let that happen. I had to silence them," he says as if that would make it better, as if he was trying to soothe me. Billingsgate smiles as he looks into my eyes, still caressing my face when a loud frustrated cry sounds from behind him. Draco is fighting harder than ever against the group of Billingsgate's supporters holding him in place and he's growling, like a desperate animal. Billingsgate looks into my eyes for another short moment before frowning away.
"Be quiet you stupid boy! I'll have them put you through the Veil!" he barks, threatening Draco. Draco stops fighting but his face is stuck in a scowl. If only looks could kill.
Billingsgate takes a deep breath and straightens out his posture as if to recompose himself.
"Over time, I got better at what I had to do. Not perfect, of course, but better. It's easy to find purebloods that have the same ideology as me, the hard part was finding muggleborns who would conform. Once I found the old Muggleborn Registration Commission document, things got much easier. I was able to meet with those on the list, talk with them, then give them a choice. They can join my cause and submit to the natural order, or they could die. Naturally, most joined," he says glancing towards the group behind him.
"That's not much of a choice," I say and Billingsgate laughs.
"But it is! Wouldn't you die for what you believed in? These people gave in, so it must not mean they believed that they were equals to purebloods after all." I see a lot of the muggleborn followers behind look utterly ashamed, some even letting tears run down their faces.
"And what about Elflock?" I ask and Billingsgate's eyes widened.
"Oh! Right, of course, you'd want to know about that. I'm sorry to say that it's a bit anticlimatic. I should've been more aware of my surroundings that day, but she was there when I stole the document. She immediately confronted me about it and I had no choice. Trust me, I tried to spare her, I tried to get her to join me but she refused. She told me it would be a betrayal to you and she would've fought me too if I wasn't fast enough. I gave her mercy, in the end. The killing curse is quick and painless," he smiles at me as I fight to hold back tears as the memory of that day floods back. Billingsgate himself had told me the news of Elflock's death. I hadn't known the person responsible was standing right in front of me.
"So what now, Billingsgate? Why did you bring us here?" I ask, trying to regain my strength.
"Ah, that's a good question. Well, I was very convinced that I was going to see you tomorrow until I realized something strange. It seems all your friends got much closer in recent times. Of course, you were already close with Weasley and Potter, but now Matthews, Collins, and Malfoy were friends? Malfoy, who had been unfriendly with Potter and the others until recently. It was suspicious so, of course, I and my followers kept an eye out. Turns out Matthews, Collins, and Malfoy spent lots of time at the Ministry whispering to each other and I pieced it together. No matter how much I wanted to believe your letter, about you wanting to see me, I had to face the facts. You all were definitely trying to set me up! Don't worry, I still have hope for you," he finishes with a wink and I grimace.
"So that's why I brought you both here, to give you the same choice I have given the rest of my followers," he says with a smile and turns to Draco, "You know what it's like to be from one of the most respected families in the Wizarding World. You had all the power and privilege you could ever want. When Voldemort lost the war, the Malfoy name became a joke. Your father became a joke. And you all are hated and feared by those who were against Voldemort. Some have even tried to kill you. If the natural order was in place, they never would have dared to turn against you. Draco Malfoy, one of the sacred twenty-eight. If you join me and help my cause, your life could go back to the way it once was." Billingsgate stares waiting for a response. Draco glances towards me and we make eye contact. I can see that the mention of his father and his past pained him but I could also see he would never give in. I smiled encouragingly.
"I would rather die," Draco spits and Billingsgate shrugs as if he expected the answer.
"Well you might get your wish soon enough," Billingsgate says before turning to me. His eyes seem hopeful.
"And you, Y/N. I know this must be a much more difficult choice for you, as you are a muggleborn but I think I can persuade you to agree with me. As I said before, I did hate you when we first met and for a while after that but I finally saw you for what you could be. You are intelligent and capable, much more so than any average muggleborn I've ever met. I became drawn to you, even started to care about you. You are everything I want for myself, and everything I want in a muggleborn. As a member of my committee, you were able to do the work that was needed. With my leadership, you were able to do great things. You even rounded up all the muggleborns for me. It was beautiful and extremely convenient for me," he smiles and I feel my stomach turn again. My suspicion had been right, he was planning to take advantage of the muggleborns being at Hogwarts.
"I started to fantasize about a... partnership between us. I was enamored by you. Foolishly I tried to pursue you, just a kiss, but by then you were already in love with Malfoy," he sighs.
"You're delusional," I hiss and he frowns.
"Sad that my feelings aren't reciprocated but that's okay. I think your naive love for Malfoy blinds you. He comes from a strictly pureblood family, they would never accept you. He has nothing, no power, no dignity, no influence over any part of society. He is from a fallen bloodline. I could give you so much more. When I succeed, I will assume leadership over the Ministry. Beside me, you'll be respected. I'll take care of you. You would be the best of all muggleborns. You could control the committee, maybe even be responsible for more than that! Isn't that what you want? A high position in the Ministry. With me, it's yours. Everything can be yours because I'll give it to you," he says and I finally hear the twisted delusion in his voice. He had been relatively reserved but now he was slipping. There was something psychotic about the way he went against reason, the way he explained his illogical obsession over me. He wanted power and I had been an obstacle to it and he wanted to conquer me. He wanted me to submit, to finally have power over me.
"I don't want anything you could give me, Billingsgate," is all I reply and he takes a deep breath.
"I was afraid you'd say that. I was actually prepared for that, so now I'm forced to go on with my plan," he walks over to me and crouches beside me. He places his hand on mine then slowly pulls off Draco's ring. I try to hold onto it but it's no use.
"Stop!" I plead but he already has the ring off my finger, then he tosses it behind him. One of his supporters catches it and greedily inspects it.
"Get your filthy hands off that," I hear Draco say but the wizard only cackles in response, trying to force the ring onto one of his fingers.
"Bring Malfoy forward, please!" Billingsgate orders and the group that's holding Draco immediately comes forward, dragging Draco along with them. They stop just directly in front of us, so Draco and I are in front of each other. I'm still bound to the chair so I look up into his eyes, maybe for the last time. Close up, I can see in his eyes that he has the same worry.
"Do you love him?" Billingsgate asks abruptly. I look up, dumbstruck, but don't answer. He raises his hand and slaps me again, except this time I can feel the slight metallic flavor of blood in my mouth. Draco lunges for Billingsgate but is held back by the supporters.
"Say it! Do you love him?" Billingsgate yells and I flinch.
"Yes. I love him," I say but I shake my head and turn to Draco, "I love you. I love you, Draco." I want these last words to go to him. Not to Billingsgate. I try to stay calm but fear is starting to eat me from the inside out. I can feel my body start to shake. Billingsgate seems satisfied with my answer and turns to Draco.
"I love you, Y/N," Draco says without waiting for Billingsgate to ask. Billingsgate smiles.
"Excellent. Now, Malfoy, I heard that you're a very talented obliviator," Billingsgate starts and I turn to Draco. His eyes go wild and it must be because he's understood what's about to happen.
"You are going to obliviate Y/N. First, you're going to make her forget all about you. Then, make her forget about all of this. Make her forget her suspicions of me, make her forget she was ever here. After that's done, we'll send you through the Veil and we'll send Y/N on her merry way. The disappearance of the Malfoy boy will be quite a mystery and everyone will be too preoccupied with trying to find out what happened to you that I will have the opportunity to continue with my mission. It's quite simple, isn't it?" Billingsgate finishes and I frown in confusion.
"I would never do that," Draco spits, and Billingsgate smiles except this smile is different than all the other ones. This smile is sinister, frightening.
"You won't have a choice," he says and my eyes widen with the realization. Draco doesn't even have any time to respond or to prepare.
"Imperio!" Billingsgate shouts, pointing his wand at Draco.
"No!" I scream but it's too late. I see the glossy look take over Draco's eyes and I can't help but look up at him in fear. Draco is standing straight now, not needing to be restrained by Billingsgate's followers.
"Maybe, when Draco is out of your mind, you will see that you would be better with me. Maybe, you could grow to love me too," Billingsgate says and I snap.
"I could never love you! Never! You're not going to get away with this, you're sick! And you're going to lose!" I yell, using the rest of my strength to try, once more, to break myself free of my restraints. Billingsgate just sighs and turns away from me.
"Now, do what I told you. Erase yourself from her memory," Billingsgate instructs Draco. I look to Draco in terror. Draco would erase himself from my memory and Billingsgate would kill him. I would never know what happened to him, and I wouldn't even remember to care about what happened to him. I can't think of anything that Billingsgate could've done that would be worse than this. I would rather take the cruciatus curse over and over than this. I sob, letting my last voluntary emotions take over.
"Draco, no! You can fight this! You don't have to do it!" I beg, staring into his eyes. His cold, grey eyes. Maybe I could fight to remember him, fight against the spell to forget. How could I forget him?
Draco raises his wand shakily at me. His eyebrows now knitted together. I can see he's struggling against it and hope erupts inside me.
"Please, Draco! I don't want to forget. I don't want to forget you! Fight it!" I encourage him. Draco's wand starts to fall limp in his hands and Billingsgate's nose flares in anger. Billingsgate points his wand once more at Draco, chanting the Imperius curse again. Whatever amount of resistance Draco was able to collect was completely erased with Billingsgate's push. Draco's face goes back to being blank and as a single tear falls down his cheek, he points his wand straight at me.
"Obliviate."
It's an odd sensation, being obliviated. I expected it to be instant, but no. I felt an uncomfortable presence in my mind, tearing at my memories. The best of them flashed through my mind before they were shredded apart. Small details disappeared first. The way Draco smiled at me. How did that look? How we had fought, how we had made up. What was it all for? I tried to cling to my favorite memories, at least. The day at Hogsmeade, how we danced to that perfect song except now I forgot how it goes. It was all being stolen from me.
Suddenly, trying to recall the time I've spent with Draco felt like waking up from a very good dream. When you wake up and feel so happy because of that dream, which had been so clear when you experienced it. But now the details are fading and you can't remember what happened in the dream that had made you so happy. No matter how hard you try, none of the details come back. You cling to the smaller details of the dream that made you so happy until those fade, too. Now you can only remember how happy the dream made you, but you can't remember why. After a while, you forget about that, too. It all becomes nothing.
[Note: This isn't the end! I still have a few chapters in store!]