The next day I finally took the opportunity to talk to Cecilia and Anna. I approached them and started talking in Italian.
- Girls, how were you with the Sultan? I asked them, pretending not to hear anything from him.
They both bowed their heads and looked at me in sadness.
- We started dancing for the Sultan, and he said that he was not in the mood and that his mother did not know what kind of women he wanted. Cecilia said, starting to cry.
I hugged her to comfort her.
- Then what happened? I asked her with interest.
- He drove us out of his chambers. And now. . . - she started talking but she couldn't continue from tears.
-What now? I asked her worriedly.
At the same time, I was glad that the Sultan rejected them, and at another time, they were the only ones I know here and I didn’t want to lose the only acquaintances and be left alone.
- Kosem Sultani sends us to the Old Palace because we did not meet its conditions. Tonight he is sending him new Greek concunines, maybe they will have more luck than us. said Anna in tears.
I hugged them both and was very sad about them. I was left alone without any friends in this harem. The thing that made me angry again is that Kosem Sultani persistently sends concubines to Murad. But I didn’t have time to bother with that.
After Cecilia and Anna left the court, I decided to go to the princes and sultans. Sultania Farya met me there.
- Sultan! - I told her and I bowed to her. She gave me a big smile.
- Rachela, I'd like to change your name. To make it easier for children to learn from you. From now on, I will call you Hatiçe. - she told me.
I bowed to her and thanked her for the name, even though at first I didn’t like it that much. All women had some powerful names, and Hatiçe was a name worn by sultanates, slaves and maids.
I repeated my new name a few more times in my head so I could get used to it.
"Did you hear what happened to the slaves who came with you?" Farya told me proudly.
- I heard, Sultan. They are just being taken to the Old Palace. I told her. She put her hand on my shoulder at that moment and looked at me as if she wanted to tell me something important.
-That's why I'm glad you're here for the children, not the Sultan." Don't even try to win his heart. I am his lawful wife and no one will change that.- she said, trying to scare me right away.
I didn’t need a bad relationship with the Sultana at first so I just nodded to her and pretended to respect her words. At that moment, I just wanted to see Murad. His beautiful brown eyes. In those eyes I could see the whole universe.
After Farya left the children’s chambers, I was left alone with Ismihan, Ahmed and Suleiman. The children fell in love with me very quickly and that was the most important thing for me not to ruin the respect of Sultana Kosem.
- How did you get here? Ismihan asked me and sat down on the sofa. I was standing next to her.
- When your father Sultan Murad came to Venice, I was there at that moment. I told her with a smile, trying to hide some things. The Sultan was young to hear that, and I don’t think anyone in this palace should know about it.- I'm glad you're with us. My mother has been sad lately and doesn’t worry about us. said Ismihan sadly.
- Why is she sad, Sultan? I asked her worriedly.
- Farya constantly brags about being married to my father. It hurt my mother so much that she wanted to kill herself and us, but thank God, it wasn’t the real poison in the end. said Ismihan, sighing deeply.
- I'm sorry about that, Sultan, I hope your mother recovers from that. I told her sympathetically.
- Do you have a family?- Ismihan asked me with great interest in me.
- No, Sultan. My mother died a long time ago, and my father was killed recently. I was an only child, so now I am left alone. I told her sadly, remembering my family.
I saw Ismihan change her facial reaction from happy to sad.
- Hatiçe, feel at home here. I fell in love with you the same day as my brothers. I want you to be happy here. she told me very sympathetically.
- Thank you Sultan, I really appreciate that from you. I told her. I was amazed at how mature the Sultana was for her age.
- Hatice, I want to ask you one thing. - she told me with a smile.
- Of course. I told her, returning her smile.
- I want you to teach me Italian. My teacher Semsi-aga is old and I don’t understand him at all. I would like to learn it from you. - she told me with eyes that a man could not refuse.
"Of course, Sultana, I will teach you anything you want." I told her with a smile.
Ismihan stood up and hugged me.
- Hatice, you're the best. If only you were my mom. - she told me what touched my heart so much.
The children here were not so much loved by their mothers because their mothers were just looking at their own interest. It made me very sad and I wanted to give all my love to Ismihan.
In the evening the children went to their mothers, and I went to the harem. Then Lalezar Kalfa stopped me.
- Hatiçe, Sultan Murad is calling you. You're going to him tonight. she told me happily.
I was amazed at that moment. I wasn’t sure if that meant he was calling me to spend the evening with him, but I was very excited.
I immediately went to the hammam and put on the only nice dress I had with me. I didn’t want to dress up too much because I wasn’t sure the reason for his call.
I started with Lalezar Kalfa and she immediately started measuring me.
- Why are you dressed so nicely? she asked me, a little surprised.
- I didn't want to go in old clothes. - I told her briefly and came to the door.
I expected Lalezar Kalfa to tell me all the rules about the havlet. Havlet was when he spent the night with the Sultan. But she didn't mention anything to me. Maybe because I already explained it to Cecilia and Anna? At that point I was very confused and didn’t know what to do.
Aghas knocked and Murad allowed him to enter his chambers. I went in and saw him sitting at his desk. I just bowed to him confused because I didn’t know what this meant.
- Come. - he told me. I came closer to his desk and he got up at that moment. He started walking around the room, and at one point he found himself behind me. I felt his breath on my neck.
- You smell very nice. - he told me, to which I blushed slightly. I was very embarrassed in front of him unlike before and didn’t know what to do.
- You also look very beautiful. - he told me, which left me even more stunned.
- Thank you. I told him with a smile.
- Wait, you prepared to spend the night with me? - he asked me with a smile.
- No, Sultan. . . I said confused because I didn't know what to do at that moment.
- Then why did you get along so well? he asked me enigmatically.
- I just decided to change the goods. I told him and turned to him, trying not to look him in the eye.
He put his hand on my chin and lifted my head up so I looked him in the eye.
- I love it when you look me in the eye. he said, not stopping to look into my green eyes.
- It may happen by accident. I said, tilting my head to the other side to hide my feelings.
- No one can remain indifferent to the ruler of the whole world. he said, taking a step closer to me.
At that moment, I raised my head and looked deep into his eyes.
- Obviously I'm the only one who can. - I told him and I smiled provocatively at him.
It was at that moment that I realized he couldn’t stand the craving when I looked him in the eye. He stepped back and looked the other way.
- How do you get along with my kids? he asked me without looking at me.
- Very well, your children are very dear to you. Especially Ismihan Sultana. I told him with a smile.
- Ismihan is my most valuable treasure. I love her the most in the world. But she’s been sad about her mother lately. said Murad, lowering his head sadly.
- The Sultana told me that her mother is very sad about Farya Sultana. I told him in a calm tone.
- I can't stand this conflict between them anymore, Ayse and Farya quarrel every day and that has a very bad effect on my children, Rachel. he told me sadly.
- You must end the hostility between them, otherwise only the children will be badly affected. I told him, trying to comfort him.
He just kept quiet, didn't answer anything and went to the terrace. I went after him.
- Farya Sultana gave me a new name. I told him in a calm voice.
- How did she give you a name? he asked with great interest.
- Hatice. I told him.
He just looked at me completely.
- You don't like the name? he asked me with a smile.
- Well, it's not that I don't like it, it's kind of normal for me. - I told him sadly looking at Istanbul from his terrace.
- I also don't think that name suits you. he said and stood behind me. He stood behind me with me by the fence and he behind me with his hands on the fence. I was trapped in his arms.
At that moment, I turned to him. I've never been closer to him. I felt so many emotions intertwined in that moment. At the same time I wanted to kiss him and at the same time push him away from me.
I just lowered my head and looked at the floor. He put his hand on my chin again and lifted my face so that I was looking him in the eyes.
- Don't stop looking me in the eye, then I feel very safe while you do it. he told me with a slight smile.
- All women in the world can watch you, you will always feel safe. - I told him, trying not to take his beautiful words to heart. I didn’t want to fall for his charm.
"What does it mean to me when I don't feel like I'm next to you?" - he asked me rhetorically and came even closer to me.
I could feel his breath on my face. I just stared into his eyes lost not knowing what to do with so much passion for him.
- I really want you. - he told me and started to get closer to me. Our lips were a little apart. Just a few inches.
At that moment, I turned my head away from him, without thinking.
He walked away from me at that moment.
- What's this supposed to mean? he asked me angrily.
I have never seen him so angry. It must be hard when a woman refuses the Sultan of the whole world for a kiss.
- As you said yourself, you already have two women who are in constant quarrels and you do not want it to affect your children.This would only make things worse. I told him, looking him straight in the eye.
At that moment, I saw the anger in his eyes. He came very close to me. So close. I saw the fire in his eyes and at that moment I was afraid of what he would do.
He took my hand tightly. So strong as if anger was pouring out of my hand. I didn’t want to show him I was in pain but at one point I moaned in pain and he left my hand.
He looked very frustrated and angry. I didn’t know what to do at the time.
- Don't think you can reject the ruler of the whole world. he told me arrogantly.
- What if I don't look at you like that? - I asked him and raised my head. He remained very confused by my words.
- What is that supposed to mean? - he noticed me confused.
- What if I look at you differently? I said, thinking I shouldn't have said any of this. I revealed my feelings at the time, but I still wanted to pretend to be cold.
He came very close to me again. Face to face. I felt his breathing on my face again.
- I long for you. I have longed so much like I haven't not one in years. - he told me.
- I would long for you too if I knew you had no other women. I said, trying to dissuade him from the idea, but he didn't give up.
- Since you've been in this palace, there's no one else for me. - he told me and grabbed my shoulders with his hands.
- I felt something strong towards you for the first time. And it grows every time I see you. I want you more and more every time. To look at those beautiful green eyes of yours in which I can see the whole world. - he told me and our noses touched.
At that moment, he gave me a deep passionate kiss. A kiss that made me feel like I was floating. He put his arms around my waist while I put mine on his neck. He kissed me for a long time.
He took me in his arms and led me to his bed where he laid me down. I shouldn’t have allowed myself to spend the night with him then.
He kissed me for a long time, and when he tried to unbutton the button on my dress I stopped him.
- Your longing will have to last. I told him, kissing him once more.
- You can't do this to me. he said, trying to persuade me, but I got up from his bed and stopped.
- Murad. Listen to me this time
Don’t let this get to your kids because it will make them even sadder. - I told him and sat down next to him. I put his hand in mine.
- Why are you doing this to me? Why are you running away from me? he asked me, very worried. I squeezed his hand into mine.
- I don't want to ruin your relationship with your family any more. Let it stay like this. I told him.
At that moment, someone knocked on the door. Murad allowed himself to enter. It was Haci-aga, the faithful servant of Kosem Sultan. I knew he shouldn't have seen me here, especially not sitting next to Murad on his bed.
- Sultan, your mother sent you a slave to spend the night with you. said Haci-aga. Murad rolled his eyes at that moment.
- I don't want her, let her go. he said and drove Haci-aga away. Murada was not interested in that at all.
- Why didn't you want to spend the night with her? I asked in astonishment.
At that moment he just looked at me and hugged me.
- Because I want you by my side right now. he said and kissed my forehead.
I spent that evening with him even though we had no relationship. I wanted it more than anything, but I persuaded Murad to listen to me.
I was afraid of the reaction of Kosem Sultan. Yet Haci-aga saw us. I didn't know what to do.