Stay away.
It's such a simple order my brain repeats every single day yet I can't find it in me to follow it and keep my distance, why is that I don't see him half as bad as he portrays himself to be? I should hate him, all he's ever shown to me ever since I knew him was aggression, he'd do his best to push me away in more ways than anyone could imagine and I go back to sticking around, I want something my brain is completely rebelling against.
The fact that we just had a death trip a night ago and I don't know one single thing about what's in the file that him and Zayn found makes me triggered, I couldn't just brush it off and act like none of this happened, I couldn't act like we didn't just break in into a mental institution, I couldn't pretend that all of this is normal and ignore how we're almost solving some deranged guy's case that has been closed and opened way too many times and no one found a string that leads to the truth, why would this be any different? Why would we be any different? And most importantly what would we do if it was revealed that it was us that stole the file? How would we justify it? It's all messed up.
When I woke up I found myself sleeping on Harry's lap and his arm resting loosely around my neck, I was so bewildered on how we ended up in this position but the pounding ache in my head reminded me how and everything that occurred last night started flooding back, getting drunk can do this to someone...even Harry.
I groaned at the growing pain and started moving slightly from underneath Harry's grip, my heart skipping a beat with just looking at his face, his features were so calm unlike how he is when he's awake, he almost seemed perfect, but he's far from that. I let my fingers trace his cheeks ever so slowly, studying his sharp jawline and pink lips.
"You're so confusing" I whispered, giving him one last look before removing my hand from his face.
I started to make my way down the hall heading towards the stairs quietly, I am trying not to make a sound, I couldn't risk waking Zayn up, I couldn't face him, not after everything that's been happening between us lately, especially the recent events of our argument, the best thing I can do is to avoid him and that's why I am frantically searching for my phone in hopes I could leave Harry's place before they're awake.
But my attempts to find the phone stopped once something caught my eye, the file. I stood there for a couple of minutes, scared to open it and look at what's inside, what if all of this was not worth it and Styles is a psychopath who deserves to rot there for the rest of his life? I fought against my thoughts and grabbed the file feebly.
I opened the first page scanning the bold font that was scattered all over the paper, there was an empty space which I assumed was where his picture should've been placed before it was taken or whatever happened to it.
CONFIDENTIAL
Patient's name : Harry Edwards Styles.
Age: 24.
Hometown: Alfritson east Sussex.
Mental Illness: BPD, DID
Ward Cell: 17B
Styles has caused notorious murders, he's been inspected and under heavy Probation ever since he arrived at Broadmoir, through the time where he was kept here he was under psychologists' eye, it was proven that styles suffers from borderline personality disorder and dissociative identity disorder, his lack of emotions, fear, anxiety is one of the many reasons that shows that styles reduces startle response which is unhighly common between the mentally stable, Styles reacts far less intensely in such fear-evoking situations that requires more action, all of this had things to do with his upbringing which was testified by his own family afterwards, they stated that he has always been disconnected from others and even himself, his constant anxiety, depression and mood swings were always a burden they didn't know how to deal with.
I stopped reading for a second trying to process what I just read, my breathing was uneven and I could hear the sound of my heart beating, how could Zayn and Harry think that all of this is a lie? His own family testified against him and his odd behavior, there wasn't a single person who defended him which shows that he's not normal, is that why they hid the file from me? Because they were wrong?
I heard the sound of footsteps and I put the file back where it was placed and spotted my phone over a nearby table, I pretended as if I was texting someone then headed towards the front door hoping to just go home peacefully, I couldn't talk, not right now.
But it ain't my lucky day.
"Where do you think you're going?" I heard a deep voice from behind me and I knew it was Zayn, I could feel the nervousness growing in the pit of my stomach.
"Home" I blurted out almost instantly, I just want to go home and stay there all day.
He started walking away and I knew that I had to follow him, I cussed in my head then followed him to the stool in the kitchen.
"Sit" he ordered before grabbing two pills with a cup of water and pushing them towards me, I glanced at him for a second before popping the pills in my mouth and swallowing them.
"What was that last night? You don't drink, at all. Then I woke up to find you on the roof passed out with a beer bottle in your hand, what happened to 'I don't drink alcohol'? He asked in a strictly stern voice.
"It was just a one time thing Zayn, and I was actually sleeping, I didn't pass out" or maybe I did but he doesn't need to know that.
"Don't do it again" he said before getting up from his seat distracting himself with whatever was in his hand, I took this as my cue to leave.
I made my way to the front door and just as I reached the door knob and was about to open it I felt hands on my shoulder turning me around, I didn't have the time to process anything because suddenly I was in a warm embrace with hands circling around my waist.
I needed this, I missed him.
"Everything's going to be okay" I heard his soothing voice in my ears while he was rubbing circles on my back making me want to stay here for a while longer.
I hugged him tighter, engulfing his body with mine as I heard his chuckle, he always does that when I bone-crush his body, I pulled away after a few seconds giving him one last look before turning around the door knob and stepping out feeling the cold breeze making goosebumps arise on my skin.
I closed my car door behind me once I was in, I started driving around thinking about what I just saw, could Styles really be guilty? And if he is why does Zayn and Harry think that he's innocent? Especially Harry, he's almost sure that he can't be guilty as if he has been following this case since day one, what makes me more suspicious is the fact that everything has been laying low, no news, no websites posting updates about him or the case, there's nothing.
I huffed as I parked my car outside the building, I couldn't believe that I am finally home, I pulled out my house keys as I pushed the door open taking off my shoes before resting my exhausted body against the wall closing my eyes for a second.
I opened my eyes taking in my surroundings and that's when I froze, I couldn't move a feet due to the horrendous sight in front of me, everything was trashed and on the floor broken into million pieces, there was nothing in it's place, I took a few steps forward but stopped once I heard the crashing sound of shattered glass under my bare feet making me wince in pain as I didn't realize that I just took off my shoes, I heard the sound of my phone buzzing, hoping it was Zayn so I can tell him to get me, I can't seem to move or do anything, my shaking hands slid the lock on the phone open before my eyes settled on the message that was sent from a private number making my heart beat almost stop and for my breathing to drop.
Private Number
You're next, hope you liked your little gift, Celia.
I felt the phone almost fall From my trembling hands as I was dialling Zayn's number but he wouldn't pick up, I called for a couple more times hoping he would just answer.
"P-pick up, please" I murmured to myself as I heard the sound of my hiccups breaking the scary uncomfortable silence.
He wasn't answering his phone and that's when I called the second person that my brain drifted to, he picked up instantly.
"Harry, c-come and get me" I couldn't hold it anymore as I broke into sobs.
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Should I update tonight?